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Hello, first post here.

 

So I got into a really dumb argument with my boyfriend. Basically, we were debating/arguing about the Corona virus and he said I should stay home. I said I don’t necessarily feel too concerned about the virus as the survival rate is good especially for someone of my age and health. Plus, I live alone and it’s not like im endagering my parents, etc. He then goes on to say, “This isn’t the the flu, it’s a virus.”

Then I said something along the lines of “I have a feeling you don’t know what you’re talking about. The flu is a virus, influenza.”

 

Basically I kept asking him questions about Corona and how it was different from the flu and he couldn’t answer. I was laughing and telling him I could just Google the information since he doesn’t know anything.

 

I don’t think he appreciated me not taking him seriously. He said “Sorry that I care, I’m going to block you.” Then he blocked me.

 

This is the dumbest of dumb arguments but basically should I try to contact him and be the bigger person or just leave it be?

 

Note: Hes blocked me once before over a dumb argument and I’m the one who came running back to him. Since he blocked me once and I came back I don’t want him to think I will always boomerang back to him when I’m blocked.

 

Note: please dont criticize my views on the virus. I just want to know if I should contact him.

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I think you need to ask yourself a fundamental question - is his behavior acceptable to you? Does him blocking you every time you have some argument acceptable to you? Is this something you want to put up with?

 

For me, the answer would be, "heck no" the first time around, however I'm not you. Do you want to keep dancing to his toxic tune? Only you can answer that for yourself.

 

I'm not a fan of the silent treatment, or blocking/unblocking, running and begging type games. I personally will walk instantly the very second someone demonstrates that kind of behavior. It doesn't even matter who is right, who is wrong - it boils down to communication v. playing games. I don't like games. Do you?

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Why not criticize your views? I'm in the young and extremely healthy crowd. I don't go out unless it's bare bones necessary. And when I do, I don't dismiss the significance. Zero to do with my mortality. Should an elderly relative, friend, or even neighbor need my assistance (which is all but a certainty if this momentum keeps), I want to be able to provide it at minimal risk to their health. There are a lot of folks out there not just elderly and vulnerable, but young and immunocompromised. I'm also not particularly interested in doubling down on my wife's odds of getting it (in your case, it'd be your boyfriend), and thus forcing her hand when it comes to her elderly family and friends. "Living alone" is hardly doing your part to mitigate risk to public health.

 

As for your boyfriend blocking you, it's childish. Should've just dumped you and called it a day without the games. Your apathy toward the disadvantaged population juxtaposed with speaking to him in a way people don't even talk to children would be reason enough.

 

Leave it be. You'll both hopefully grow up and end up in healthier relationships.

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Firstly:

I said I don’t necessarily feel too concerned about the virus as the survival rate is good especially for someone of my age and health.
How utterly selfish and entitled of you. Since you think you know so much about the virus, You know that you could contract it but not show any symptoms and then give it to a more vulnerable demographic, right?

 

Secondly: You are with the wrong man. I don't know him but I'm thinking he could do better.

 

Keep yourself blocked by blocking him and get on with finding someone you get along with better. Someone that can reason with you about things that you are being selfish and entitled about.

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There are very few couples who will agree 100% on everything, but the adult response is to agree to differ.

 

A therapist once told me - when I'd just started seeing someone new - that at the first sign of sulking or jealousy I should get out. Because it isn't going to work.

 

Don't contact him. If you do, you're sending a clear message that blocking is a handy way to control you, and this won't do you any good at all. If he gets in touch with you, then by all means discuss it - but let him know that if he does this again then you will consider the relationship to be over.

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I feel stupid defending him but this is only his second time doing it. It isn't a common thing for him but I do see what you are saying. I think it is best I don't call him but I want to ugh I'm dumb....

 

The first time is already one time too many. At this point it's a game of fool me once fool me twice....

 

Why bother with this drama when there are better men out there who won't act like this guy? At the end of the day, relationships aren't built on great times, but rather on how you handle your differences and arguments. He handles it in a way that is toxic to any long term relationship. Better that you recognize that and walk away now than stick around and get even more attached and it will become more toxic and even harder to walk down the road.

 

Not going to comment on your views about the virus and whether I agree with them or not. See? I may not agree with you, but I don't need to be a jerk to you about it and we are just strangers online. It would be easy for me to go off on you. Your SO should be even better to you than strangers, but this guy....is not...... That's why he is not bf material.

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I agree that she should just let the boy-child block her while she blocks him back however: Enabling her selfish behaviour by not alerting her to it isn't in her best interests or the interests of those she may be subjecting to the virus. Girl needs to know that her behaviour is dangerous, selfish and she comes across as self interested by carrying on thinking that because it may not affect her much personally, she is not thinking of anyone else but herself.

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How long have you been dating? How often are theses arguments? How old is he? This time he did you a favor in the sense that you don't have to be with someone this immature. Next time don't get in pissing contests and right-fight. If you precipitate fights by basically calling people stupid, expect a lot of guys to walk away. Don't date people whose go-to way of resolving things is blocking.

I was laughing and telling him I could just Google the information since he doesn’t know anything. Hes blocked me once before over a dumb argument and I’m the one who came running back to him.
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When there is contempt, a cut off of communication, frustration, arguments with no resolution, then this relationship has a zero chance of survival.

 

The 4 housemen of the apocalypse, the predictor of a relationship destined to failure :Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling. Time to be done with this guy.

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Firstly: How utterly selfish and entitled of you. Since you think you know so much about the virus, You know that you could contract it but not show any symptoms and then give it to a more vulnerable demographic, right?

 

Secondly: You are with the wrong man. I don't know him but I'm thinking he could do better.

 

Keep yourself blocked by blocking him and get on with finding someone you get along with better. Someone that can reason with you about things that you are being selfish and entitled about.

 

No one asked your opinion on her views on the virus. She said she’s not THAT concerned, not that she’s going around licking the floors and coughing on grandma at the supermarket. Her bf says the flu isn’t a virus which obviously which shows he definitely did not know much, being that the flu IS a virus. She jokingly said he doesn’t know anything.

 

I think the OP could do better and find someone that can express their emotions without completely going NC for no explained reason.

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I don't agree with how either of you dealt with the situation.

 

Him blocking you is childish, but it doesn't seem like your views regarding the virus are any more mature.

 

Just an FYI regarding the coronavirus, but my main concern isn't so much myself in this situation (being young & healthy), but the possibility of contracting the virus and exposing it to others with a weakened immune system.

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No one asked your opinion on her views on the virus. She said she’s not THAT concerned, not that she’s going around licking the floors and coughing on grandma at the supermarket. Her bf says the flu isn’t a virus which obviously which shows he definitely did not know much, being that the flu IS a virus. She jokingly said he doesn’t know anything.

 

I think the OP could do better and find someone that can express their emotions without completely going NC for no explained reason.

I know when I wanna crack a good joke, I tell my wife she knows nothing about something and then badger her with follow-up questions on the topic. Then after essentially bullying her with questions I know she can't answer, I tell her I'd be better off just Googling it. It's always a hit. After she's done rolling on the floor laughing, I get laid immediately guaranteed.

 

Telling him the flu actually is a virus is a good smirk and snort moment if you've got nothing else going for your smarts I suppose, but at the end of the day, her dismissal of the public health risk she poses going out absent a necessity shows a whole lot of people could run laps around her if she so wanted to sing praises of her own intelligence or bash that of others. The acute and respiratory nature of coronaviruses does indeed merit their distinction from your typical virus, and especially influenza. He was ignorant as to how to phrase it, but frankly, most people are. Don't know you personally, but the poor attempt at hyperbole would suggest you're just as well among the representative norm there. At least he had a grasp on the important aspects. He's staying in and encouraging others not to risk vulnerable populations by going out unnecessarily. All she's got going for her is she knows the flu is a virus. Gold medal is in the mail.

 

FWIW, don't think OP deserves better. Certainly not going to claim whether she can do better. People who latch onto areas someone else happens to be somewhat ignorant about only to make it a theme pestering them and bullying them about it tend not to. Conversely, people who block partners to cope with an argument don't either, but she's here, not him.

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I don't agree with how either of you dealt with the situation.

 

Him blocking you is childish, but it doesn't seem like your views regarding the virus are any more mature.

 

Just an FYI regarding the coronavirus, but my main concern isn't so much myself in this situation (being young & healthy), but the possibility of contracting the virus and exposing it to others with a weakened immune system.

 

Very well put. You're both wrong, two wrongs don't make a right. Also it sounds like you were having this heated discussion on text -bad idea.

 

My son is 11. Husband and I in our 50s. Not immunocompromised, not living in one of the worst cities but not the best. My son is having a hard time getting it -he's "angry" at the virus - of course -his overnight trip , a bday party (probably our upcoming spring break trip), etc all cancelled - and I'm not letting him meet up with friends or do more than take a nature walk with social distancing, etc. He's 11. He's handling it but like he tells me "I'm just a kid" when I get irritated at his ahem communication "skills". He also says lately when I tell him I am frustrated "I feel you, Mommy". Yes, he sometimes walks off in a huff in response to "no you can't have screen time right now" but honestly he quickly returns to be close again. So I ask you -is it better to be right or to be close? I mean putting aside that I think your attitude is wrong and potentially dangerous especially to others - think about your tone and your method of communicating and what your goal is. Be right or be close? And be with someone who strongly prefers the latter as opposed to blocking you like a child or cabin-fevered tween.

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OP, why do you feel the need to put your boyfriend down and mock at him? Your condescending behavior would be unpleasant to anybody. You basically implied that he is stupid by laughing at him for not knowing things. Unless he works in the medical field he is not obligated to be an expert in viruses. How would you feel if you chat about cars, and he is mocking you for not knwoing the basics? Not nice, right?

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Most governments are making it law that establishments close their doors because people like the Op who only think of themselves don't voluntarily stay away. There is a very good reason why bars and restaurants and gyms and other such places are closed and locked.

 

As for the maturity level... they both are about par there and I as I've said, they should block one another permanently... The b/f may not know everything about the virus but he knew enough to be right in telling her to self isolate and stay away from gatherings of any kind. Every government has been telling us the same thing.

 

P.S. .... and what jman said.

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OP: “ I said I don’t necessarily feel too concerned about the virus as the survival rate is good especially for someone of my age and health. Plus, I live alone and it’s not like im endagering my parents, etc.”

 

She said she’s not concerned. She does not say she doesn’t care at all. She also didn’t say she’s gonna go outside and make sure she comes into direct contact with everyone she sees. She’s not concerned. Not being concerned doesn’t mean she’s taking zero precautions. I’m sure a lot of you guys are the ones that panic bought all the toilet paper (rude) and again, just because she’s not panicking and staying to a corner by herself in her apt (which she stated she lives alone in) doesn’t mean she’s going out there and being reckless.

 

She asked for advice about her bf. I think it would be appropriate to keep outside opinions to yourself and stick to the topic of WHAT SHOULD SHE DO when it comes to her bf/relationship. I’m sure a lot of people are out of work until further notice and have the time today, but let’s be nice and respectful.

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OP: “ I said I don’t necessarily feel too concerned about the virus as the survival rate is good especially for someone of my age and health. Plus, I live alone and it’s not like im endagering my parents, etc.”

 

She said she’s not concerned. She does not say she doesn’t care at all. She also didn’t say she’s gonna go outside and make sure she comes into direct contact with everyone she sees. She’s not concerned. Not being concerned doesn’t mean she’s taking zero precautions. I’m sure a lot of you guys are the ones that panic bought all the toilet paper (rude) and again, just because she’s not panicking and staying to a corner by herself in her apt (which she stated she lives alone in) doesn’t mean she’s going out there and being reckless.

 

She asked for advice about her bf. I think it would be appropriate to keep outside opinions to yourself and stick to the topic of WHAT SHOULD SHE DO when it comes to her bf/relationship. I’m sure a lot of people are out of work until further notice and have the time today, but let’s be nice and respectful.

 

Well no -there's a huge gray area there. No I didn't panic buy. I've bought zero rolls of TP so far for example and no sanitizer.

 

It's not just about direct contact. I wish it were. It's about social distancing which we do not do in daily life. So it's about not getting too close to people on the street, in a store, not going to the beach or the gym if it happens to be open, not having your cleaning person come to your home if it's not an emergency, not meeting your friends for lunch even though you typically do. Her tone seemed to be more of the blithe, casual -well it doesn't affect me so I'm not going to give it much thought.

 

So please don't go to those "rude" extremes just like it was rude of people to buy up all the TP. I went shopping last week. A store employee carelessly coughed less than a foot from my loaded cart I'd just paid for (no panic buying -my son is now home full time from school so I need more food) - with a closed mouth. Had it been normal times I might not have noticed. But it freaked me out some - and I found it careless of her not to at least cough into her elbow or step further away -yes, even though her mouth was closed - right near all my food and not far from my body.

 

So it does take a lot of extra precautions -typically we're not in direct contact with a stranger. Social distancing requires more than that. We're not immunocompromised, neither is our son. But we're still doing our part.

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I mean, the OP could be out and about, contract the virus, not display any symptoms, and give it to someone else without knowing.

 

And if one of my loved ones got sick as a result of someone else's carelessness, I'd be livid.

 

The thought of someone with a weakened immune system potentially getting sick from the virus (which can cause death) as a result of others not taking self-isolation seriously makes my stomach turn.

 

The way the OP phrased her original post makes it sound like she's trivializing the seriousness of the virus and how it impacts others around her.

 

It's one thing if you HAVE to go outside. But if you're going out just for kicks and to socialize, without regard to anyone else, I'd encourage you to reassess your values.

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^^^Exactly. @Batya; @milly

The guy on the news JUST this minute said "People are not taking social distancing seriously" If this isn't a time to give our opinion on what the Op said, I don't know what would be a good time.

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I’m just saying she didn’t say she was going out with any intention to gather in a large crowd. She asked for advice about her bf and every single person here is going on and on about the virus. We hear enough about it in the news and social media. We’ve heard it all at this point! To continuously make the poster feel like crap about her opinion towards a situation that has very little to do with what she’s actually asking about isn’t all that helpful.

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As for the seriousness of the COVID-19 and since I live in the current epicenter of the desease, have been on day 5 of voluntary confinement and absolutely determined to go fo another 10 days. Especially after what I witnessed today.

 

This morning, when I opened the curtains of my bedroom windows, I saw an ambulance with flashing lights and Belgian military number plates. I decided that it could be anything and better not jump to conclusions, so went on with my daily routine. A few minutes later I peeped through the window again while teeth-brushing and the scene was chilling: two male paramedics were almost dragging a young woman, who was folded in two and apparently too weak to walk by herself. The paramedics were fully covered head to toe with protection, very similar to the Ebola protection costumes that I saw on TV.

 

Another, apparently distraught man was following from a good distance of 10 meters the small group heading to the ambulance. He slightly waved his hand when the lady was dragged inside the ambulance. Maybe he was her husband. He was obviously too scared to get closer. Only when the ambulance was about to leave it occur to me to take a picture, here it is. If you zoom in you could see the military number plates and also the white protection cloths of the driver.

 

The last time the military was mobilised in Belgium was at the time of the terrorist attacks on the 22 March 2016. The comparison says it all.

 

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