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threesome and dealing with "Macho"


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Hi,

 

It is my first sexual relationship with this boy. I am not really experienced in this topics so I am looking forward to have some advice from you.

 

We are together for already 7 months(4 of them lived together). Our sex is great but he wanted to try something new so we decided to have threesome. We agreed that we would talk to each other as soon as we would discover that we had any kind of sexual desire or just an interest to another person. But one day I discovered that he met another woman to have ONS or whatever. He was always a "macho" and with me I thought something would change with me. He told me that I was not trying to find someone so he had a desire to spend a night with someone just for fun. I felt really bad and when he realized what he had done he promised me that he would never do such a thing that would break my heart.

I already had trust issues from my ex and If he would cheat on me again than It would be a final spot for me in trusting people. He said he would never do such thing so we continue dating. Just asked to give some time and I would forget it, trust him again, feel free and ready for our threesome experience.

But after just 2 weeks he told me that he found someone who would agree for joining us. So he had decided to meet her. I was shocked. But I let it happen. He wanted to meet her and on second date offer it. Craziest thing happened when we spent amazing night together. Next day after several hours in bed with me he asked me to lend some cash and went to home (as I thought). Later told me that he met this girl and went very intimate to each other. And with money I gave, he got champagne for them. He told me that he still has not offered it. I was already tired of this crazy things and I told him (as a joke) have sex with her if u want and next time I will join you too. He told me OK. HE TOLD ME OK.

Than I exploded. Said it was way too disrespectful to me. And the only thing he told me was - "I dont want to hurt you, lets stop having sex and be just friends. I dont feel the same as you do. I really like you but I am not sure if I will ever love you".

 

I really dont understand. Why he is not satisfied with our relationship? What does his words mean?

 

Another thing that makes me confused is his feeling. He is acting like real boyfriend. always trying to make me happy. Meets me to his friends and family and never admits that he loves me. The night I was just talking about I've spend with my best friend too. She is a very good friend of both of us. So I asked her. Look the way he treats me and tell me what you think. She told me the same as I thought. The way he looks, takes care, trying to make me happy it is definite that he loves me. I have feeling that he pushes himself very hard for not falling in love with me.

I neither dont understand it.

 

 

Please tell me what does it looks like to you. How am I supposed to react? Is it normal or am I being over dramatic.

 

 

 

Thank you so much

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Sorry to hear this. You don't have to put up with this much drama and heartache after 28 weeks of dating. Some one who asks you for money to wine and dine and cheat on you is someone you need to delete block and permanently get rid of. Why bother with this when you can date guys with integrity rather than someone who enjoys hurting and scamming you.

I discovered that he met another woman to have ONS or whatever. he asked me to lend some cash and went to home with money I gave, he got champagne for them. I really like you but I am not sure if I will ever love you".
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He does not love you. He treats you very badly and pretends to care in order to use you.

 

It's not your fault. He is the type of man who will never be happy with just one woman and will always treat women like sex objects.

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Another thing that makes me confused is his feeling. He is acting like real boyfriend. always trying to make me happy. Meets me to his friends and family and never admits that he loves me. The night I was just talking about I've spend with my best friend too. She is a very good friend of both of us. So I asked her. Look the way he treats me and tell me what you think. She told me the same as I thought. The way he looks, takes care, trying to make me happy it is definite that he loves me. I have feeling that he pushes himself very hard for not falling in love with me.

 

You are in deep, deep denial here. This guy does not act like a real boyfriend, and he does not love you. I don't know what your definition of "real boyfriend" is, but I don't think this guy comes anywhere close to the standard definition.

 

You need to forget this man. He is being honest that he doesn't reciprocate your feelings, and that he wants to date and have sex with other women. Believe him. This isn't code for anything; there is no hidden meaning. This isn't about threesomes or being "macho." It's simply a man who isn't interested in a relationship with you any longer, and frankly has very little respect for you. Lose him, immediatley.

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When someone tells you that he doesn't feel the same, you should always believe them. When actions and words don't match then he doesn't love you. It's that simple.

 

You need to work on your self-esteem. You have allowed him to use you and it sounds like you are in denial of what's really going on. A self-respecting woman would not put up with all this crap. A guy who asks you for a three-some at 7 months doesn't respect you and never will.

 

At this point he has showed you who he really is. A jerk. You will be making an informed choice if you stay with no-one but yourself to blame when he hurts you. Break up with him already.

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Never, ever think you will be the exception. If a guy is a player, cheat and liar, he will continue to be.

 

Moving in at 3 months was nuts. You should have waited at least a year, because now you see him for who he is. Why the rush?

 

You should have dumped this creep after he cheated! Did you want a threesome? He does not like or respect you.

 

Girl, he used your money to take out another woman. How insulting! Do not lend him anymore money. Dump him and get your self esteem in check, as he is bottom of the barrel

 

The worst guy to choose of you have self esteem issues/trust issues. He is terrible for anyone!

Edited by Hollyj
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