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Just looking for advice


Cricket6970

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Ok here we go. Straight to the point. I busted my boyfriend (of only 3 months) texting another girl. I know her and she has a 2 yr old with another guy whom she is engaged to. When i busted my bf. He was passed out and i took a bunch of screenshots of the messages. I woke him up screaming at him and telling him to gtfo. He left then came back two days later and told me he was in love with me. This was the first time he said those words to me. And he also promised he would break it off with the other woman and never text again. I succumbed and only because of those 3 words he said. Things were going ok for a few days then i noticed he was keeping his cell awfully close. I mean close. Even when he went to bed it was right under his face. So needless to say it was my gutt feeling that got the best of me. So i asked if he was texting her again and of course denial. So i insisted i see his phone. He opted to leave instead. And leave he did. Went straight for her house. She says he dont live there that he is only there doing work for the landlord. And yes the other boyfriend is there too.

No the boyfriend is to dump to realize what is going on.

What should i do? Should i tell the girl's boyfriend whats really going on? Get my ex off their property! Is what i say.

What? Ohhhhh you wanna know what the text messages were all about? What they said?

I was in shock too.

So these two were actually planning on leaving town with each other. Exact message was even being written while him ( my ex) and I were out on a day exploring and having a picnic. I know right? I was super pissed. My ex said he was actually texting the other boyfriend about a motorcycle part!.

So moral of the story. I want to tell the other boyfriend whats really going on and show him the texts.

I bet she sneaks out of the house at night to go have sex with my ex right in the yard. (Well in his truck in the yard).

Hope i get some advice soon cause im thinking im gonna go do this little show and tell tomorrow.

Well thanks for reading and thanks in advance for the advice or even criticism.

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Bruh your boyfriend is trash asf. How he gon tell you hes in love with you yet continue to text other b******. Please do yourself a favor and cut him off because if you stay he may continue doing these things. He also knows that he's hurting you and he doesn't gaf so you shouldn't either so you should leave.

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He is not with me. I did kick him to the curb. I think thats why i want to tell the girls bf is mostly for revenge.

 

Revenge is useless. It will only lead to more drama, which will waste more of your time. The best revenge would be to stop spending your energy on monitoring what he does and move on with your life as if he doesn't exist anymore. He will reap what he sow in time all on his own.

 

You knowingly took back a cheater just because he said the three words. That was a mistake on your part and that's what you are paying. Learn the lesson and move on. If you keep up the drama with him, you are inviting more dysfunction into your life.

 

If you really want a healthy life, then you should cut all these dysfunctional people off. No revenge, no nothing. Disappear. Find new (healthy) people to associate with.

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You should tell the boyfriend, not for revenge but because he has a right to informed consent which is currently being denied to him.

 

I’m sorry this guy turned out to be a dud, you know now for sure which leaves you free to dtmfa

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Your bf is a lying cheat and so is the other woman so you did the right thing ditching him but I personally wouldn't go for revenge tactics. It's just going to make a bad situation worse. I'd leave them too it. Sorry this happened but at least it was only 3 months not longer you wanted on the dortbag.

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Sorry to hear this. How old is he? How long have you been dating? Are you exclusive? Why is this first time he has indicated he love you? Let the three of them sort it out. Contacting this other women's bf makes you look like a jealous shrew and won't change a thing about what is happening.

 

Delete and block him and all his people from your phone, social media and messaging apps. Stop being with bozos like this. Don't do illegal things, such as trespass or damage anyone's property. If you do drugs or drink, get help..

I woke him up screaming at him and telling him to gtfo. He left then came back two days later and told me he was in love with me. This was the first time he said those words to me.

 

i insisted i see his phone. He opted to leave instead. Went straight for her house. She says he dont live there that he is only there doing work for the landlord. And yes the other boyfriend is there too. im thinking im gonna go do this little show and tell tomorrow.

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It’s none of your business.

 

There had to be red flags for you to go snoop in his phone in the first place. You have only dated him for 84 days.

Instead of snooping , why didn’t you simply end it?

Snooping is futile.

Look where it’s got you? Into a place of rage when you just could have ended it and move on from what was nothing much anyway.

 

This guy told you he loved you lol. When he clearly didn’t by his actions. Why would you even believe what he has said to her ? He just says things to get his way. Lol

 

He has no plans for her or you.

 

Just let it go.

Let nature take its course.

Why are you so angry?

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When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. Her bf will find out on his own what he needs to know. Don't mess with other people's lives like this, because the worse case scenario might be violence, and perhaps directed back onto you, where you've ignited a chain of events you wished you hadn't. If you don't believe me, watch 48 Hours Mystery, or Dateline--episodes on love triangles.

 

Your ex doesn't deserve anymore space inside your head. To let him remain there is giving him power. Be thankful you found out so soon what a dirtbag he is, so that you didn't invest more than 90 days. Anger eats you up inside and only hurts yourself. Time to move on to the next stage of your life by letting go of a failed experience.

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The lady's bf is involved and should be told so he has time to look for evidence, and prepare himself with a lawyer when it comes to custody.

 

The woman was planning on running away with his child. I think it's your duty to tell him.

 

 

 

I completely overlooked that bit. Sorry, if they are thinking of running off together with another mans child ABSOLUTELY tell that childs father.

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Give the guy copies of the text screenshots you have and otherwise walk away and cut all contact with all of them. Don't assume that the guy will dump her or whatever. Some people are smart and walk away fast, others not so much and decide to forgive and stick around. In other words, if you are hoping for revenge and this idea that the guy will dump her, don't hold your breath. It may or may not happen. Basically, tell the guy because he needs to know and that's all.

 

As for revenge, the greatest revenge is treating your ex like a nobody that he is. He is dead to you. Understand that any time you react, respond, gossip with the other guy, and so on, all you are doing is stroking your ex's ego and showing him that you still care even if it's in a negative way. Greatest revenge is treating him like a blank space, like he is nothing. That is what will hurt him.

 

As for the whole "I love you" - nobody who actually loves you will ever cheat on you. Never ever fall for that bs again. People who care about you even slightly do not cheat on you.

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The lady's bf is involved and should be told so he has time to look for evidence, and prepare himself with a lawyer when it comes to custody.

 

The woman was planning on running away with his child. I think it's your duty to tell him.

 

No where does it say that she was going to take her kid when she ran off with Op's b/f. It just says:
So these two were actually planning on leaving town with each other.
That could mean for a night, for a weekend, or for two hours so they could schtuup.

 

So Op: were they planning on taking the kid too? Did any of their contact with one another indicate such a thing?

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Whatever they do it's none of your business nor is it your "duty" to put yourself in harm's way. You are not law enforcement and have no business in this woman's life..

No where does it say that she was going to take her kid when she ran off with Op's b/f. It just says: That could mean for a night, for a weekend, or for two hours so they could schtuup. So Op: were they planning on taking the kid too? Did any of their contact with one another indicate such a thing?
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Most women say "Hell ya you tell the BF!" and guys say "None of your business." If you want some kind of revenge, get a hold of this woman and say you have screen shots of their conversation and you will be sending them to her BF, but don't send them....she will be crappin her pants for months over it.

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Most women say "Hell ya you tell the BF!" and guys say "None of your business." If you want some kind of revenge, get a hold of this woman and say you have screen shots of their conversation and you will be sending them to her BF, but don't send them....she will be crappin her pants for months over it.

 

You are assuming the chic has a conscience, which is highly doubtful. More likely she will just take preemptive measures, tell her bf that the OP is some psycho chic stalking her, make herself out to be such a victim that the bf will defend her and never believe the OP even if she were ever to send those screenshots to him. Or she'll dump the bf to be with the other guy. Either way, people without a conscience sleep just fine at night.

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Sorry to hear this. How old is he? How long have you been dating? Are you exclusive? Why is this first time he has indicated he love you? Let the three of them sort it out. Contacting this other women's bf makes you look like a jealous shrew and won't change a thing about what is happening.

 

Delete and block him and all his people from your phone, social media and messaging apps. Stop being with bozos like this. Don't do illegal things, such as trespass or damage anyone's property. If you do drugs or drink, get help..

 

He is 36. As far as i know he was exclusive. We were together 3 months. I dont really recall what made me look at his phone. My gutt feeling has never been wrong yet.

I know its not my duty to tell the bf. But im going to anyways. As for then leaving. It wasnt gonna be for a night because my ex had texted the girlfriend about needing to find jobs once they had arrived to their destination. And the girlfriend did plan on taking taking the baby with her.

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He is 36. As far as i know he was exclusive. We were together 3 months. I dont really recall what made me look at his phone. My gutt feeling has never been wrong yet.

I know its not my duty to tell the bf. But im going to anyways. As for then leaving. It wasnt gonna be for a night because my ex had texted the girlfriend about needing to find jobs once they had arrived to their destination. And the girlfriend did plan on taking taking the baby with her.

If this is legit (and big IF), I'd spill the beans. Not in any way that's outwardly vindictive. One dump of information including all the screenshots you've got. Wipe your hands, and move on. No vague **** or carrot dangling. No follow-ups. And I'm almost always on the side of "nunya" in these situations. While 9 out of 10 times the whole skip town fantasy is just that, I wouldn't risk it with a child involved.

 

In any case, do some self-reflection. No one deserves to be cheated on. That doesn't necessarily mean you deserve a healthy relationship. If you're to the point of checking phones and showing up at strange women's houses, you're most definitely not in a state to land a good and healthy man.

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If this is legit (and big IF), I'd spill the beans. Not in any way that's outwardly vindictive. One dump of information including all the screenshots you've got. Wipe your hands, and move on. No vague **** or carrot dangling. No follow-ups. And I'm almost always on the side of "nunya" in these situations. While 9 out of 10 times the whole skip town fantasy is just that, I wouldn't risk it with a child involved.

 

In any case, do some self-reflection. No one deserves to be cheated on. That doesn't necessarily mean you deserve a healthy relationship. If you're to the point of checking phones and showing up at strange women's houses, you're most definitely not in a state to land a good and healthy man.

I agree with all of that ^^^^

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