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My husband only wants sex when he wants to


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My husband is 26,I'm 28. He has an erectile problem caused by watching too much porn. He has lied to me about his porn viewing and he has also actively chosen to masturbate to porn over having sex with me. Sometimes he would even watch it after sex with me. I'm attractive and I have tried everything, wearing lingerie, smelling good etc. He claimed to have performance anxiety and he has in the past gone to the doctor and got Viagra as a temporary fix but I don't think there's anything wrong with him. He just watches too much porn.


He is trying to quit porn and there are some weeks when he is very horny for me, those days he'll initiate more and I suspect those are the times when he doesn't watch porn and when we have sex, he gets super hard and have sex on consecutive days.There are days when when I suspect he watches porn secretly and that affects his sex drive for real sex with me.


So now what is happening is that we mostly have sex when he wants to. When I'm in the mood and I initiate and try to turn him on his enthusiasm isn't really there or he flat out rejects me. So that means we mostly have sex when HE wants to. I believe in a marriage we have to compromise, he doesn't even give me the chance to turn him on. There are a few times when he initiates and I won't be in the mood but because I enjoy having sex with him after making out for a little bit, I get in the mood. I understand that sex moods can be mismatched and that is fine but I feel like he holds the key to our intimacy and when I bring this up to him, he gets angry and doesn't understand why I feel humiliated when he turns me down. I rarely initiate sex anymore because I can't stand the feeling anymore of being turned down.


Today he turned me down and I jumped off him and told him I feel humiliated and went on to say that we've had so much fights about sex, he now doesn't even want to have sex anymore and he accused me of not caring about him because I "keep bringing up the same stuff". I keep talking about our sex life because I am desperate to not end up in a sexless marriage with a porn addict. It's harder to trust him because he keeps lying about his porn use, I have to be on his tail to investigate if he's watching porn etc and that makes me feel miserable but he thinks I'm being unreasonable.

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