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Emotional support group Covid19


Seraphim
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I saw yet another post on Facebook about how parents should cherish these extra, unscheduled hours and times with their kids. Well sure- there are parents who have to or choose to work full time, rarely see their kids plus overschedule them when they do. Even though they don't "mean to". Then there are parents where at least one is home a lot, maybe they home school too, skip all the extra team sports, etc. All kinds.

 

The problem is - there's this assumption that when all this extra time is forced on us because of this situation that the extra time must be positive -it must be a way to get closer. Well I don't think that's how it works with any relationship. If a person or family needs to slow things down they should take steps to do that not be forced to because of covid or a power outage - short term sure I see it -fond memories of drinking boxed milk and trying to walk to a store on a sheet of ice and laughing about it -but when it's been since March and we cannot travel (which is how we all particularly bond -it's never a vacation or relaxing for me but it's so awesome for our son's development and great for me to rock my world and get out of my routines/think outside the box/navigate a foreign country, etc.

 

When I can't get space to have my breakfast and coffee in silence with no one around -a luxury I had when he was in school after the cold school bus stop, after my workout, husband still asleep or away (yes, that is my "thing") - when I can't have my evenings anymore because covid has messed up my son's sleep -no, I'm not going to look at it as "wow this is forcing us to slow down and really spend time together" - in my world, to a very minor extent -we weren't overscheduled, I was home the first 7 years, I only work part time now and he's 11 - and the "forced" part and the inability to interact normally with the world undercuts it for me. Part of being close, bonding, getting closer -is taking space ,respecting space, coming back together and sharing all you've experienced when you were apart - it's a dance of intimacy in a way.

 

Having said that -I count my blessings audibly and inaudibly at least once a day. And my son and I do that at least once a day. I am so grateful for health, financial stability, our ability to telework, the promise of a vaccine soon, connecting with friends virttually and my son doing the same. Just not gonna buy this silver lining of more "together" time.

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I saw yet another post on Facebook about how parents should cherish these extra, unscheduled hours and times with their kids. Well sure- there are parents who have to or choose to work full time, rarely see their kids plus overschedule them when they do. Even though they don't "mean to". Then there are parents where at least one is home a lot, maybe they home school too, skip all the extra team sports, etc. All kinds.

 

The problem is - there's this assumption that when all this extra time is forced on us because of this situation that the extra time must be positive -it must be a way to get closer. Well I don't think that's how it works with any relationship. If a person or family needs to slow things down they should take steps to do that not be forced to because of covid or a power outage - short term sure I see it -fond memories of drinking boxed milk and trying to walk to a store on a sheet of ice and laughing about it -but when it's been since March and we cannot travel (which is how we all particularly bond -it's never a vacation or relaxing for me but it's so awesome for our son's development and great for me to rock my world and get out of my routines/think outside the box/navigate a foreign country, etc.

 

When I can't get space to have my breakfast and coffee in silence with no one around -a luxury I had when he was in school after the cold school bus stop, after my workout, husband still asleep or away (yes, that is my "thing") - when I can't have my evenings anymore because covid has messed up my son's sleep -no, I'm not going to look at it as "wow this is forcing us to slow down and really spend time together" - in my world, to a very minor extent -we weren't overscheduled, I was home the first 7 years, I only work part time now and he's 11 - and the "forced" part and the inability to interact normally with the world undercuts it for me. Part of being close, bonding, getting closer -is taking space ,respecting space, coming back together and sharing all you've experienced when you were apart - it's a dance of intimacy in a way.

 

Having said that -I count my blessings audibly and inaudibly at least once a day. And my son and I do that at least once a day. I am so grateful for health, financial stability, our ability to telework, the promise of a vaccine soon, connecting with friends virttually and my son doing the same. Just not gonna buy this silver lining of more "together" time.

Oh god I so understand you. I could cry.

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Years ago, during a very dark spell in my life, someone told me to find one small thing that brings joy, focus on it, and let it expand. Fortune cookie talk, I know, but I find it works from time to time. Down day today, for me, but I saw some parrots fly overhead not long ago—a thing that happens in Los Angeles: former pet birds, or some such, that have made a life for themselves here. They always make me smile, that adaptability: they're not supposed to be here, but there they are.

 

I'm letting that expand, so I'll share it here.

 

I don't think it's fortune cookie talk! Great coping mechanism and I use it daily. Didn't realize it but that's what I've been doing.

 

I think Bolt's thread about good things earlier this year really emphasized this and I am going to add to it. The parrots sound lovely.

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I am so grateful for health, financial stability, our ability to telework, the promise of a vaccine soon, connecting with friends virttually and my son doing the same. Just not gonna buy this silver lining of more "together" time.

Well said Batya,

As much as I have had the luxury of time to step back and appreciate all that I do have, all the together time doesn't come naturally. I am someone who desperately needs those small moments of alone time to recharge and have something to offer.

 

Not unlike others, my world has become so small and outside of remote work I don't have anything interesting to contribute.

 

My bf's life hasn't changed much due to this, so as sympathetic he can be, I can tell he really doesn't understand sometimes.

He retired pretty young and still golfs a couple times a week. His softball team isn't playing, but they still have practices. He's surfing with a friend this morning and leaves to go hunting with his son this weekend. These are all covid friendly outings and not really any different than any other day for him.

He has his normal outlets and interactions.

 

Then there is me. I deal with staff complaints all day from my dining room table and it's grueling. By the end of day I am just spun. I am not really spending time with my friends because most of them belong to club where they believe covid is hoax and will disappear the moment the election is settled. My other friends are militant and basically won't leave the house.

 

I am quiet for the most part, withdrawn and flat. I make a point to take several walks a day and try to do nice things for myself. I turn my focus to how fortunate I am and keep an eye on the wonderful things in my life. The list is long but the exercise doesn't always work as well as it should.

 

S is the primary person I interact with for 8 months. We don't spend more time together, but without that balance I find myself hiding that I am irritable in his presence and that's not fair to him. He has the patience of a saint, but there is no denying I haven't been very good company lately.

 

This too shall pass. . .but not as soon as we all would like.

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Well said Batya,

As much as I have had the luxury of time to step back and appreciate all that I do have, all the together time doesn't come naturally. I am someone who desperately needs those small moments of alone time to recharge and have something to offer.

 

Not unlike others, my world has become so small and outside of remote work I don't have anything interesting to contribute.

 

My bf's life hasn't changed much due to this, so as sympathetic he can be, I can tell he really doesn't understand sometimes.

He retired pretty young and still golfs a couple times a week. His softball team isn't playing, but they still have practices. He's surfing with a friend this morning and leaves to go hunting with his son this weekend. These are all covid friendly outings and not really any different than any other day for him.

He has his normal outlets and interactions.

 

Then there is me. I deal with staff complaints all day from my dining room table and it's grueling. By the end of day I am just spun. I am not really spending time with my friends because most of them belong to club where they believe covid is hoax and will disappear the moment the election is settled. My other friends are militant and basically won't leave the house.

 

I am quiet for the most part, withdrawn and flat. I make a point to take several walks a day and try to do nice things for myself. I turn my focus to how fortunate I am and keep an eye on the wonderful things in my life. The list is long but the exercise doesn't always work as well as it should.

 

Most recently S is the primary person I interact with. We don't spend more time together, but without that balance I find myself hiding that I am irritable in his presence and that's not fair to him.

This too shall pass. . .but not as soon as we all would like.

 

Thank you so much for understanding and I cannot stand the covid-hoax stuff. Awful.

 

It's weird but I find myself avoiding calling my sister -we talk around once a week - because I feel like my life is narrower and I have nothing interesting to share! She called the other day and we had a great convo as usual. I shouldn't worry about being "boring" with her - I know.

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Thank you so much for understanding and I cannot stand the covid-hoax stuff. Awful.

 

It's weird but I find myself avoiding calling my sister -we talk around once a week - because I feel like my life is narrower and I have nothing interesting to share! She called the other day and we had a great convo as usual. I shouldn't worry about being "boring" with her - I know.

Same here! I know it adds the problem but other than b*tching about my work, I have nothing to say. I do call people who are chatty talkers sometimes, because I trust they will fill up the otherwise long silences I have with others. . .like my boyfriend.

So sad. S and I have our drill of -what we ate, how well we slept and how many times we woke up during the night. Rinse, repeat.

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Nearing 5% where I am, if not over. There are so many cases and our hospitals are filled up. It's really scary. Hoping I won't get pulled back into ICU.

 

I'm not going to be able to celebrate the holidays with my family in a typical sense. Imagine a fire outside in a pit, me in my down-filled winter jacket, shoveling turkey into my face from a paper plate. I have no idea what Christmas will look like but I doubt I will see my family.

 

My friends are mostly out partying/dating. I haven't seen anyone or gone anywhere that wasn't work or something like that since March so I am still very isolated.

 

Seeing a vaccine on the horizon is the one thing that is keeping me going. I know we are in the home stretch of sorts. I just need to hang on for a bit longer.

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Nearing 5% where I am, if not over. There are so many cases and our hospitals are filled up. It's really scary. Hoping I won't get pulled back into ICU.

 

I'm not going to be able to celebrate the holidays with my family in a typical sense. Imagine a fire outside in a pit, me in my down-filled winter jacket, shoveling turkey into my face from a paper plate. I have no idea what Christmas will look like but I doubt I will see my family.

 

My friends are mostly out partying/dating. I haven't seen anyone or gone anywhere that wasn't work or something like that since March so I am still very isolated.

 

Seeing a vaccine on the horizon is the one thing that is keeping me going. I know we are in the home stretch of sorts. I just need to hang on for a bit longer.

I hear you.

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UK is looking at easing restrictions for Christmas.. I welcome it in some ways, but I know it'll lead to yet another spike. I start back at work next month too. Dreading that, high risk essential job, and wearing a mask all day will kill my ears(I can't wear things behind my ears it irritates the hell out of me and gets painful).. but it'll be nice to see and talk to someone other than my fiance and daughter. I'm apprehensive about the vaccine, although promising, I guess that's my mum's anti vaxx shining through. I I'll be eligible for it due to the work I do, however as I'm breastfeeding I'm not sure. I guess I'll have to wait and see..

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UK is looking at easing restrictions for Christmas.. I welcome it in some ways, but I know it'll lead to yet another spike. I start back at work next month too. Dreading that, high risk essential job, and wearing a mask all day will kill my ears(I can't wear things behind my ears it irritates the hell out of me and gets painful).. but it'll be nice to see and talk to someone other than my fiance and daughter. I'm apprehensive about the vaccine, although promising, I guess that's my mum's anti vaxx shining through. I I'll be eligible for it due to the work I do, however as I'm breastfeeding I'm not sure. I guess I'll have to wait and see..

I am definitely willing to get it. I understand people are scared about what effects a vaccine can have but I don’t want to return to the days of polio ,mumps ,measles ,rubella ,whooping cough ,small pox. That was not a happy world. The lady that works for me she had mumps ,measles ,rubella ,whooping cough all of it so did my mom. My dad had all of those things plus hepatitis. They remember being so so so sick as children. My stepdad’s sister had polio and she’s now almost 90 but still suffers from the effects of that. People have forgotten how hideous those diseases were and how many people it actually killed. My great grandmother and two of her daughters died of diphtheria and it almost killed my grandfather. Had it done that I never would’ve been born.

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Yes I don't want a world where children are dying from preventable diseases. It's incredibly frustrating people still believe they cause asd etc. My mum just doesn't like the chemicals in them, she's a very old school hippie, didn't have me vaccinated, although mitch of that was due to me being very poorly as a child. I had meningitis as an infant and still suffer the ramifications of that today (ears).

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Yes I don't want a world where children are dying from preventable diseases. It's incredibly frustrating people still believe they cause asd etc. My mum just doesn't like the chemicals in them, she's a very old school hippie, didn't have me vaccinated, although mitch of that was due to me being very poorly as a child. I had meningitis as an infant and still suffer the ramifications of that today (ears).

And that’s the thing you’re suffering today for something that was preventable. Hugs.

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I do remember Sara. Haven't seen her post in ages though. Hope she's doing well.

It makes so much sense, Pip, why it'd be difficult for you to come online at times. I'm just glad you always come back. You have a lot of buds around here. ❤️

 

 

No I haven't either , if I remember right , her first op failed and she had to go under the knife a second time , but that's as much as I know . Yes I hope she got through it with success cos they call it the suicide disease for a reason ouch ...(not that I am thinking like that ) .

 

Thankyou grandy your words mean a lot to me ,, thankyou so much xxx

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Holiday plans all canceled as of this morning. The plan was optimistic, perhaps naive, involving air travel and carved out when the numbers were moving in a different direction than they are today. But it's just not the time, one of those unavoidable truths that brings relief to accept, if of a melancholy variety familiar to so many these days.

 

In other news, my father's experience with Covid was mild, manageable, best I understand it. I think he is back at work, whatever his work is. Good to know. Strange to find comfort in being able to drift back into our long-established mode of quasi-estrangement, but the comfort it real.

 

Hugs to all.

 

Glad to read your dad is doing ok . I often think about my mum and dad , they are not with us anymore , but if they where and by God I wish I could pick up the phone and hear their voices , either one .....but I would have felt demented with fear incase they got it and there is sweet FA I could do . So I am so so glad you have good news .

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Nearing 5% where I am, if not over. There are so many cases and our hospitals are filled up. It's really scary. Hoping I won't get pulled back into ICU.

 

I'm not going to be able to celebrate the holidays with my family in a typical sense. Imagine a fire outside in a pit, me in my down-filled winter jacket, shoveling turkey into my face from a paper plate. I have no idea what Christmas will look like but I doubt I will see my family.

 

My friends are mostly out partying/dating. I haven't seen anyone or gone anywhere that wasn't work or something like that since March so I am still very isolated.

 

Seeing a vaccine on the horizon is the one thing that is keeping me going. I know we are in the home stretch of sorts. I just need to hang on for a bit longer.

 

One of my daughters friends' is out doing the same ..partying , infact they ( the friendship group ) did some investigating in an anti covid ( as in don't believe it ) group on insta or somewhere and it turns out

to be one of their very good friends ... They are all really pissed about it .

 

Hang on in there fudgie , lets get your dolls house out and just forget what is going on ( I am gagging to get my hands on it lol ) Take care x

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Yes I don't want a world where children are dying from preventable diseases. It's incredibly frustrating people still believe they cause asd etc. My mum just doesn't like the chemicals in them, she's a very old school hippie, didn't have me vaccinated, although mitch of that was due to me being very poorly as a child. I had meningitis as an infant and still suffer the ramifications of that today (ears).

 

Ahhhh darling I hope you can get your head around the vaccines , the ant vaxxers are not doing anyone any favours right now ...I don't want to disrespect your mam so I am not going to go on , except to say ....please seriously give getting it some serious thought my love xxx

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I will be there as soon as I possibly can to get the vaccine. I can protect myself and my family even if others choose to be selfish or refuse to educate themselves.

 

I got a flu shot and a shingles shot about 3 weeks ago. I am a big believer in prevention.

 

oh me too .... oh blimey they can't me fast enough bolt ...although I do accept the order in which it needs to be given ..me safe at home or a front line worker .... God willing it will all happen fast and in the UK they are thinking of training people just to do the vaccine to get us all done quicker .

 

Keep your pecker up bolt ok

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I have just had an absolute nightmare re covid and I know if anyone understands it is you lot because I know you're all taking it seriously .

 

I had just nipped to the corner shop and on my return a big removal van was parked across my parking spaces outside my garden ....my neighbour is currently using the space and this van had blocked him in and I knew he would need to get out to pick his youngest from school .

 

So I shouted ( not shouted nastily , shouted because I dare not get close , I was wearing a mask and his window was shut ) * What have you parked there ? * he just looked at me .. if it was because he was waiting to turn or something then I get it ..we live in a small court . He wound down the window and I said again * why are you parking there * well with that this other bloke , well it was like someone had flipped a switch ...he ran from down the street were he had been stood and started screaming at me , how dare I , he is Bulgarian and can't speak English ... I said how was I supposed to know that , I have every right to ask why a big wagon has parked over my car park blah blah blah and with that he came right at me ..no mask on , there wasn't a mask between them actually . I didn't know if he was going to punch me or shake my hand but all I know is a random stranger is now a foot away from me screaming in my face with no mask on ............ I can take a punch , but I can't take someone standing screaming at me with no mask on ....I screamed equally as loud to tell him to get away from me ...it was the covid ..I was soooooooo scared ....I told him fine I will go and call the police . I did . They reassured me that as I had my mask on and we were outside that I will be fine but I was on the verge of ringing up for a test ..I could feel the hysteria and the panic inside me exploding .

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oh me too .... oh blimey they can't me fast enough bolt ...although I do accept the order in which it needs to be given ..me safe at home or a front line worker .... God willing it will all happen fast and in the UK they are thinking of training people just to do the vaccine to get us all done quicker .

 

Keep your pecker up bolt ok

 

I had to LOL at this Pippy since I am female...but I really do appreciate the sentiment!

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I have just had an absolute nightmare re covid and I know if anyone understands it is you lot because I know you're all taking it seriously .

 

I had just nipped to the corner shop and on my return a big removal van was parked across my parking spaces outside my garden ....my neighbour is currently using the space and this van had blocked him in and I knew he would need to get out to pick his youngest from school .

 

So I shouted ( not shouted nastily , shouted because I dare not get close , I was wearing a mask and his window was shut ) * What have you parked there ? * he just looked at me .. if it was because he was waiting to turn or something then I get it ..we live in a small court . He wound down the window and I said again * why are you parking there * well with that this other bloke , well it was like someone had flipped a switch ...he ran from down the street were he had been stood and started screaming at me , how dare I , he is Bulgarian and can't speak English ... I said how was I supposed to know that , I have every right to ask why a big wagon has parked over my car park blah blah blah and with that he came right at me ..no mask on , there wasn't a mask between them actually . I didn't know if he was going to punch me or shake my hand but all I know is a random stranger is now a foot away from me screaming in my face with no mask on ............ I can take a punch , but I can't take someone standing screaming at me with no mask on ....I screamed equally as loud to tell him to get away from me ...it was the covid ..I was soooooooo scared ....I told him fine I will go and call the police . I did . They reassured me that as I had my mask on and we were outside that I will be fine but I was on the verge of ringing up for a test ..I could feel the hysteria and the panic inside me exploding .

 

I felt that way when my workplace hosted what I called a "super spreader meeting" at my office. 35 people whipping off their masks to gather together. They have already had 2 Covid cases but I guess that's not enough for them. Not to mention that meeting violated county restrictions, but no one seemed to care. One of the sales reps told another one "I'm taking off my mask. You aren't afraid of catching cooties, ARE YOU???" I guess if he'd said yes she would have made fun of him.

 

I ate lunch in my car and hid in my cubicle during the meeting while the rest of them crowded together to watch a 2 hour presentation. Nope, I wasn't going to do that.

 

I believe, if it helps go ahead and get a test. I've been tested 5 times and I am considering getting tested again in about 5 days because of that meeting.

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