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Does he like me or is he just horny and kinky?


Ash1923
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I've been dating this guy who is about 2 decades older than me for 2 months now. Before me ,he hadn't been in a relationship for 6 yrs and he is just very set in his routine and comfortable being alone. I'm the opposite I like affection and I show it verbally and with my actions. Hes quite different he says he only shows emotions through actions. He'll cook for me or do other small things that show care but sometimes because it's not a constant thing in our relationship I wonder if he truly feels something for me . Hell ,call me needy but I sometimes like reassurance that the feelings are not one sided. Like there are times where I'll tell him I miss him and I get no response but then I'll ask something like do you want a casual relationship and he says it's not his thing . He says he wants to take things slow because hes been in situations where things went fast and they died out. Maybe it's my past experiences or womanly intuition but I don't know if I believe that . Anyway fast foward to us getting intimate he reveals he has a kink . He likes being cuckolded. I have barely had sexual experiences. I've only been intimate with one other besides him and dont know how I feel about doing that with a stranger just so he can live out his fantasy . I don't want to jump for someone when I'm not really sure where this is going . Sometimes he'll talk about future plans or say things like I'm not asking for the fantasy right now, that would take time and care , in the distant future. And that there are many elements that play into the fantasy. He said he likes being my guardian and protector . I also asked if I were to actually make this fantasy a reality if I could do it with someone I have an emotional connection to , he said no it can only be sexual. Am I crazy or is this man ing with me? We've had sex twice before , could he just be saying things like that to get what he wants and that's it or are his feelings genuine?

 

 

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Twenty year age gap relationships have a 95 percent failure rate. Not that I think this will last, but consider that he's old enough to be your father. Being a woman who has to help their parents out in their elderly years, I'd be really exhausted if my husband was also their age and I had to do the same for him. You don't have the life experience to know that it's much more ideal to have a man going through a similar stage of life as you, and that there are numerous negatives that go along with huge age gap relationships.

 

To me, there is something mentally off with a 41 year old man dating a woman of your age.

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All I'm going to say is that always trust your gut. When your gut is screaming at you that something is not right with a guy, BELIEVE it and head for the hills. Do not try to rationalize it away or convince yourself that his behavior is normal.
this! trust your gut!

 

And he sounds awful...

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It depends on if you want an exclusive mutually respectful relationship with someone compatible or you're ok being this guy's sex toy. You seem uncomfortable with his creepiness after only 8 weeks so it's time to reconsider what you want.

I've been dating this guy who is about 2 decades older than me for 2 months now.

 

Hell ,call me needy but I sometimes like reassurance that the feelings are not one sided.

he reveals he has a kink . He likes being cuckolded.how I feel about doing that with a stranger just so he can live out his fantasy .

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The age gap and differences in experiences create a very large inconsistency on where the two of you are coming from regarding what you want and need from a relationship. It is something that can't and won't be changed. I would chalk this up to a little temporary fun on your part and a learning experience for you and move on. The ground the two of you are standing on will yield no fruit, but it may very well cause you a fair amount of unnecessary pain.

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The thing is when we're younger, we can see older people in this great light. Like they are so together and know so much more.

 

They have the life experience, more money and material things, that makes them seem like they know what's best etc. And being older, they have almost an authority that we don't. because we're young and haven't done as much.

 

But here's the truth hon, age is something that comes whether you learn, grow, or mature. He being 40 something, it is, definitely, YOU that are making him better than he is.

 

He's using your youth and inexperience against you. Giving you nothing, but enjoying the sex. The whole cuckold thing.... If you are not into that, do not do it. Its just one more psychological control he will have over you....

 

In other words: run like hell...

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There is so much wrong with this situation. Lose this guy, it has only been two months.

 

If someone suggested the cuckholding, I would have been DONE. Damn, it is only two months and he is going there.

 

Block and delete after ending,.

 

Lastly, do not ever do things that you are not comfortable with in the bedroom.

Edited by Hollyj
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I've been dating this guy who is about 2 decades older than me for 2 months now. Before me ,he hadn't been in a relationship for 6 yrs and he is just very set in his routine and comfortable being alone. I'm the opposite I like affection and I show it verbally and with my actions. Hes quite different he says he only shows emotions through actions. He'll cook for me or do other small things that show care but sometimes because it's not a constant thing in our relationship I wonder if he truly feels something for me . Hell ,call me needy but I sometimes like reassurance that the feelings are not one sided. Like there are times where I'll tell him I miss him and I get no response but then I'll ask something like do you want a casual relationship and he says it's not his thing . He says he wants to take things slow because hes been in situations where things went fast and they died out. Maybe it's my past experiences or womanly intuition but I don't know if I believe that . Anyway fast foward to us getting intimate he reveals he has a kink . He likes being cuckolded. I have barely had sexual experiences. I've only been intimate with one other besides him and dont know how I feel about doing that with a stranger just so he can live out his fantasy . I don't want to jump for someone when I'm not really sure where this is going . Sometimes he'll talk about future plans or say things like I'm not asking for the fantasy right now, that would take time and care , in the distant future. And that there are many elements that play into the fantasy. He said he likes being my guardian and protector . I also asked if I were to actually make this fantasy a reality if I could do it with someone I have an emotional connection to , he said no it can only be sexual. Am I crazy or is this man ing with me? We've had sex twice before , could he just be saying things like that to get what he wants and that's it or are his feelings genuine?

 

Two months in and he's already grooming you to be someone you are clearly not comfortable being and he's grooming you to accept his non committed self while being degraded as well. Good grief.

 

Listen to your gut and get away from this 2 decade older man who is so incompatible with you that its scary. Keep your confidence and leave him in your dust. He'll have you doubting your own eye colour in no time at all if you keep going with him.

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Pardon my ignorance, but I had to look up what "cuckolding" was. And I agree with Lambert's sentiment that you should run like hell. This is not a good place for you. He wants to exploit you as his sexual object and has stated it clearly. This is a bad situation that you should extricate yourself from immediately and permanently.

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Pardon my ignorance, but I had to look up what "cuckolding" was. And I agree with Lambert's sentiment that you should run like hell. This is not a good place for you. He wants to exploit you as his sexual object and has stated it clearly. This is a bad situation that you should extricate yourself from immediately and permanently.

 

I had to look it up too.

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Hopefully you are not naive enough to provide this guy with live porn shows. Is he a porn video producer? (there will be videotaping, don't kid yourself) Will you get paid for being a porn star? Run.

He likes being cuckolded. I have barely had sexual experiences. I've only been intimate with one other besides him and dont know how I feel about doing that with a stranger just so he can live out his fantasy
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Unfortunately I did know what it was.

 

I am wondering what he plans to do with the film (yes, he will want to film). I also wonder if he's done this with other naïve young women who also have little to no relationship experience.

 

OP, I would ask a good friend, a sister or your mother what they think of what he's asking you to do. If you're reluctant to tell them, that should say it all.

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Unfortunately I did know what it was.

 

I am wondering what he plans to do with the film (yes, he will want to film). I also wonder if he's done this with other naïve young women who also have little to no relationship experience.

 

OP, I would ask a good friend, a sister or your mother what they think of what he's asking you to do. If you're reluctant to tell them, that should say it all.

this part apart recording it and you are probably not the first young woman he has tried this with.
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I've been dating this guy who is about 2 decades older than me for 2 months now. Before me ,he hadn't been in a relationship for 6 yrs and he is just very set in his routine and comfortable being alone. I'm the opposite I like affection and I show it verbally and with my actions. Hes quite different he says he only shows emotions through actions. He'll cook for me or do other small things that show care but sometimes because it's not a constant thing in our relationship I wonder if he truly feels something for me . Hell ,call me needy but I sometimes like reassurance that the feelings are not one sided. Like there are times where I'll tell him I miss him and I get no response but then I'll ask something like do you want a casual relationship and he says it's not his thing . He says he wants to take things slow because hes been in situations where things went fast and they died out. Maybe it's my past experiences or womanly intuition but I don't know if I believe that . Anyway fast foward to us getting intimate he reveals he has a kink . He likes being cuckolded. I have barely had sexual experiences. I've only been intimate with one other besides him and dont know how I feel about doing that with a stranger just so he can live out his fantasy . I don't want to jump for someone when I'm not really sure where this is going . Sometimes he'll talk about future plans or say things like I'm not asking for the fantasy right now, that would take time and care , in the distant future. And that there are many elements that play into the fantasy. He said he likes being my guardian and protector . I also asked if I were to actually make this fantasy a reality if I could do it with someone I have an emotional connection to , he said no it can only be sexual. Am I crazy or is this man ing with me? We've had sex twice before , could he just be saying things like that to get what he wants and that's it or are his feelings genuine?

 

I'd run like hell. It sounds like he's trying to take advantage of (what he perceives/hopes to be) your insecurity and naïveté.

 

Don't let him.

 

He's set himself up as aloof. He's criticized you as 'needy.' And now he wants you to be part of his fetish without any regard for your feelings or preferences.

 

This is clearly all about him.

 

If you want to explore various kinks and sexual fantasies, fine. But make sure you do it with someone who at least cares about how you feel, and who respects your feelings.

 

Avoid people who criticize you for being you. If he doesn't like your 'neediness,' he can move on.

 

I agree with others that he is trying to groom you, and that he probably tries to do this with a lot of young women.

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He likes being cuckolded. I have barely had sexual experiences. I've only been intimate with one other besides him and dont know how I feel about doing that with a stranger just so he can live out his fantasy .

 

I also asked if I were to actually make this fantasy a reality if I could do it with someone I have an emotional connection to , he said no it can only be sexual.

 

I have feelings for him I just dont really know if it's real for him or not

 

Well, you gotta make up your mind what you want here. If you're in this for a serious relationship and feelings, I say, run for the hills now! This guy absolutely just wants to get laid! I can tell you now based off everything you said, he has no feelings for you. Sounds like he's a bit of a player, he knows what to say and do just to reel you in. You'd know it in your heart after a couple months if this was real or not. He sounds like a master talker and manipulator, actually, to have you seriously humoring the idea. Which gets to my next point...

 

Look... there's absolutely nothing wrong if you want to do some sexual exploration. If the thought of this turns you on, if you would be okay with having sex with a stranger that you have no feelings for while he watches, go for it. But to me, you sound like a nice, young woman. You sound like someone who associates sex with feelings. It's a super personal thing for you, a way for you to fall for each other more and get closer to them. People that are into kinky crap like being cuckolded... they don't really place sex and feelings on the same pedestal. To him, this isn't a personal act between the two of you where you are bonding and getting closer. Instead, it's a kink for him. I wouldn't be surprised if he's seeing other people beside you.

 

Take this from a guy a little older than you. I'm dating a woman now, and it's not super serious (yet), but, there are some early feelings starting to brew. The thought of other guys being intimate with her, especially having sex with her... it makes me emotionally sick. I would *NEVER* be okay watching a woman that I had any kind of feelings for, have sex with another man in front of me! Even if I got a sexual response from it, it would emotionally destroy me. It would permanently destroy my bond and feelings for that woman. I would just never be okay with it. That image would be burned into my brain forever.

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