Seraphim Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Lol Nicole is my best friend since college. I practically consider her my sister. So it is a good idea to have sex with her boyfriend??? You seem proud of yourself or something. If I found that out you wouldn’t be my best friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnightdeirdre Posted February 27, 2020 Author Share Posted February 27, 2020 So it is a good idea to have sex with her boyfriend??? You seem proud of yourself or something. If I found that out you wouldn’t be my best friend. Well you’re not Nicole. Besides they were broken up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambert Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Well you’re not Nicole. Besides they were broken up.TulipWriter, this is a very unusual situation. I'm not sure if I don't understand or if somehow you are missing something or if potentially Christian is taking advantage of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Well you’re not Nicole. Besides they were broken up. Broken up but living together??? You’re right I’m not Nicole. I have more respect for myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 You said Nicole lives with him at his parents' place. So does that mean she was there when you visited? And you said she sleeps in his bed, so that has me wondering what the sleeping arrangements were when you visited. I can't imagine what his parents think of all of this. I can see now why he backtracked on being your boyfriend. It seems like he has enough going on already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Nicole lives with Christian and his parents. He admitted to me that they sleep in the same bed, so temptation will always be there. Which is hilarious ... Ehm...this is off the rails. Are you 12? Not sure what kind of advice you were looking for, but anything I had just went right out the window. Good luck with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Christian is not available to date you or be in a relationship. Including because he doesn't really want to be in a relationship with you and if he's not 100% enthusiastic that means "no". I don't think you're ready either. You're far too focused on fantasy, including telling yourself that it's ok to be with someone because he is a "new" person (and in this situation he is not -he's still sleeping with/very recently sleeping with your friend). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Also at 32 why does he live with mom and dad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 I'm also curious what the plot of your favorite movie is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnightdeirdre Posted February 27, 2020 Author Share Posted February 27, 2020 You said Nicole lives with him at his parents' place. So does that mean she was there when you visited? And you said she sleeps in his bed, so that has me wondering what the sleeping arrangements were when you visited. Nicole wasn't there when I visited. She does A TON of traveling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnightdeirdre Posted February 27, 2020 Author Share Posted February 27, 2020 I'm also curious what the plot of your favorite movie is. This is obviously a sarcastic comment. But I don't get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 This is obviously a sarcastic comment. But I don't get it. Not sarcasm at all, but genuine curiosity. But if you prefer not to answer I understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnightdeirdre Posted February 27, 2020 Author Share Posted February 27, 2020 Nicole wasn't there when I visited. She does A TON of traveling. She comes back Saturday. Christian is going to ask her what she wants to do with their relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnightdeirdre Posted February 27, 2020 Author Share Posted February 27, 2020 Not sarcasm at all, but genuine curiosity. But if you prefer not to answer I understand. If you must know, I love a movie/storyline with a fair ending. Not necessarily a happy ending, but an ending where everything is fair and works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnightdeirdre Posted February 27, 2020 Author Share Posted February 27, 2020 Also at 32 why does he live with mom and dad? He couldn't afford to move out on his own. As I said in the OP, he just paid over $30,000 of his college loans. I'm 35 and I still live with my parents. But I'm autistic, so I guess that's different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnightdeirdre Posted February 27, 2020 Author Share Posted February 27, 2020 You’re right I’m not Nicole. I have more respect for myself. Christian has said he will ask Nicole is perhaps she'd like an open relationship. (Those are surprisingly more common than you think. Would you say the people in open-relationships have no respect for themselves?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Christian has said he will ask Nicole is perhaps she'd like an open relationship. (Those are surprisingly more common than you think. Would you say the people in open-relationships have no respect for themselves?) That wasn’t the original agreement. That implies no respect for your supposed best friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluecastle Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 I'm sorry to say this, but I think there is a significant gap between the life you are living and the story you're telling yourself about that life. A sensitive and mature man in his 30s is not a man who who is living at home, with his girlfriend, and hits up his hookup buddy to soften the pain of a little "break," to replace the void left by one woman with another in a matter of seconds. That is a man who has some very serious maturing to do, and if and when he does it? Well, he will look back at the triangular days of Nicole and Tulip much the way people look back at the elementary school sandbox. Somewhere, deep down, I think you know all that. I think you hoped that making this totally fragile and hardly above-board relationship "Facebook official" was a way of trying to will the story in your head into reality. A Potemkin relationship, call it. And, for a brief moment, it held. That moment has passed. Christian is walking away from you, back to Nicole, which is where he's always been. If he is remotely on a path toward maturity and sensitivity, he will not walk into your arms, but will take some time to sort his life out, which puts you in a bind: any attention he throws your way is just affirmation that this man is a lost soul. Like seeks like. Lost seeks lost. I believe a very small subset of the population is genuinely capable of open relationships, while a much larger subset give them a go to avoid being honest with themselves. What you're describing here? Well, to my ears and eyes it sounds and looks like the latter. Less a well-scripted movie, more a reality-TV show in which real adults are using each other to avoid growing up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielle1973 Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Lol Nicole is my best friend since college. I practically consider her my sister. ...that doesn't make it any better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielle1973 Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 She comes back Saturday. Christian is going to ask her what she wants to do with their relationship. seems to me that Christian should be the one deciding what HE wants to do with their relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Why is questioning this “open “ relationship some kind of judgment of all of them. In this specific situation he’d simply ask her if she’s ok with him also having sex with you. An open relationship is where people decide to be in a group relationship or where an established couple discuss having sex and dates and relationships outside their relationship. But Christian and Nicole are not in a relationship. They’ve had sex in the past and share a bed. If she comes back he has to ask her if they’re still on a break and if not is she ok with dating and having sex with him again and him having sex with you. You wanted Christian all to yourself and pressured him when he changed his mind. He said he wanted to take it slow. An open relationship isn’t slow it’s actually fast- if she agrees you all will have sex with each other and he I guess can have sex with others. Not what you said you wanted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnightdeirdre Posted February 27, 2020 Author Share Posted February 27, 2020 Dunno if this is relevant, but Christian and Nicole had kept their past relationship secret. Nobody knew they were dating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Dunno if this is relevant, but Christian and Nicole had kept their past relationship secret. Nobody knew they were dating. You mean everyone but his parents who they are shaking up at with? And YOU as her best friend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnightdeirdre Posted February 27, 2020 Author Share Posted February 27, 2020 You mean everyone but his parents who they are shaking up at with? And YOU as her best friend? Apparently so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 I can’t believe his parents allow him multiple shack ups in their house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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