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Why isn't he contacting me?


Rs6
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Me and my bf of 2 years had a good relationship. We had an amazing connection and we talked about marriage and were super serious.. He lived with me for a bit then we didn't agree on some things (financially) so I told him to move out until we got married.. He was all about me all day and every day. I was literally his world. I would tell him to go and hang out with friends so I can have some alone time.. After his brother moved to town I noticed him changing.. He wanted to hook his brother up with a girl I know who is a straight up hoe. I warned him many times she is a home wrecker and she will stop at nothing but to ruin lives and I wanted him to have nothing to do with her.. For a few weeks we started having problems.. But he said he would never let me go and he would fight to the end to fix our relationship. He refused to let me break up with him.. On Valentine's day he stood me up even tho we had plans and I accidently found out he's at this girls house. He has never cheated before. I went there and txted her to tell my man to come out.. He would not come out. Too scared to face me.. He ended up staying there the whole weekend and I haven't heard from him since. It's been 5 days. I'm so confused. Why did he do this? Why didn't he just let me break up. Why isn't he talking to me.. Shouldn't he be begging me by now??? What do I do? I'm so hurt and dying to hear from him. I need answers!!!

Edited by Rs6
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Sorry to hear this. What was the breakup about? You need to stay broken up and definitively end things with him. Do not stalk or chase jerks like this guy. It's been over for a long time and you need to accept it, in fact embrace it.

He lived with me for a bit then we didn't agree on some things and he moved out..

 

On Valentine's day he stood me up I accidently found out he's at this girls house. I went there and txted her to tell my man to come out.. He would not come out. He ended up staying there the whole weekend and I haven't heard from him since.

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Begging you for what and contacting you why? You already know the truth - he was cheating on you. I know that's a shock and hurts like heck.

 

That said, take a big step back. Despite all the serious talk, you couldn't get along living together. Your relationship pretty much came to an end there. The rest was nothing more than slowly limping to its end until things turned ugly.

 

As for why he did this? Why not break up? Cheaters are simply like that. They enjoy the thrill of the lies and deceit. If he broke up with you or you with him, then he wouldn't get the thrill of sneaking around on you. Defeats the purpose of cheating.

 

At some point you might have believed him to be your prince charming, but now you know that he is just mr. loser. Block, delete, do not ever bother with him or anyone connected to him ever again. He is a low life and you are worth so much more than that.

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We werent broken up.. We were still together!! He was being a little distant and I mentioned it to him and he apologized and promised to make it all up to me.. And then this happened. And I haven't heard from him since that day

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Why would you want to stay with a guy who spent a weekend with another woman? And who now won't respond to you?

 

Yeah, I know...you "love him!" But if you stay in this relationship you're showing him he can cheat and ignore you and you'll take it.

 

Time to aim higher. Plenty of men out there who don't do these things and who will treat you right.

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We werent broken up.. We were still together!! He was being a little distant and I mentioned it to him and he apologized and promised to make it all up to me.. And then this happened. And I haven't heard from him since that day

 

Yeah I’m sorry to say, but he’s gone and I wouldn’t doubt if he was using drugs or getting into that lifestyle. There’s no reason why you guys were together for two years and then all of a sudden he just leaves without a word!?

Well you know what’s going on and you know what you need to do.

Don’t let him treat you like that. Say goodby and let it go.

I had to do that with someone in my past and it hurt but I now see that I’m worth way more than he ever valued me...i value myself :)

Good luck and just remind yourself that you he doesn’t get to access you, or talk or laugh with you anymore.

He made a big

Mistake!

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You already have your answer. He went to her and he's misbehaving with her.

 

Yes, he went about it completely the wrong way. He should have ended things properly with you first. But it sounds like he was a coward and took the easy way out, (hiding, cheating).

 

Demanding he explain, won't get you anywhere, because he doesn't sound like the type of man to be responsible and talk to you properly.

I'm sorry you had to get caught up with a man like this.

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Me and my bf of 2 years had a good relationship. We had an amazing connection and we talked about marriage and were super serious.. He lived with me for a bit then we didn't agree on some things (financially) so I told him to move out until we got married.. He was all about me all day and every day. I was literally his world. I would tell him to go and hang out with friends so I can have some alone time.. After his brother moved to town I noticed him changing.. He wanted to hook his brother up with a girl I know who is a straight up hoe. I warned him many times she is a home wrecker and she will stop at nothing but to ruin lives and I wanted him to have nothing to do with her.. For a few weeks we started having problems.. But he said he would never let me go and he would fight to the end to fix our relationship. He refused to let me break up with him.. On Valentine's day he stood me up even tho we had plans and I accidently found out he's at this girls house. He has never cheated before. I went there and txted her to tell my man to come out.. He would not come out. Too scared to face me.. He ended up staying there the whole weekend and I haven't heard from him since. It's been 5 days. I'm so confused. Why did he do this? Why didn't he just let me break up. Why isn't he talking to me.. Shouldn't he be begging me by now??? What do I do? I'm so hurt and dying to hear from him. I need answers!!!
I'm sorry. This is very hurtful.

 

He knows what he did was so horrible and you could never trust him again, so he's just going to go with it and not even try to talk to you.

 

After 2 years, you definitely deserved better, there's no going back though... what can he say? Why face what a terrible person he is, when he can just cut the cord and not deal with any of it?

 

Its happened to me... no closure or anything, my ex actually made it like I was a bother to him! meanwhile, I hadn't done anything to him but be a good gf.

 

It can still make me mad. The whole thing was so cringe worthy and I was so stupid and naive... I'm a high road person and even when I got the chance, I just let go.... IDK I just never want to say something I will regret later.

 

but here's the truth... people show you who they really are.... He and his life is his problem now.... he has to live with himself... he might be with that other woman and he might be able to bury whatever he is feeling for now. But it will hit him. You just never know when....

 

Realize how much better you are than this and never ever contact him again. Throw whatever you have of his away or give it to a mutual friend and ask them to give it to him. You owe him absolutely nothing. But you owe yourself everything. Maybe go stay with girfriend for a while. Move on with your own life in whatever way you can.

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The bigger question is why would you want him to beg you? Actions speak louder than words and his actions have shown him to be an uncaring cheat. You should be glad he isn't contacting you and you should not allow him to rent space in your brain. I know his actions were hurtful and it will take a bit of time to get over it, but forgetting about him is the way in which to do so. In that way, you can heal and move on with your life. Hugs and stay strong.

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He cheated on and disrespected you. Why would you want him to be begging? I would be done with this creep!

 

The relationship did NOT sound healthy if you were his entire world. He sounds smothering and needy. Not attractive and too much work. Do you not have any social life, is this why you found this arrangement attractive?

 

Block and delete this sleaze bag!

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I agree with everyone else: it's time to kick this a**hole to the curb. Having him in your life will do nothing but hurt you more, if you hold on it will only hurt you worse. I know it's tough, I was in a toxic relationship where I was strung along too; it took me a while to get out of that, but now I am and I can't be happier single. I realized over time that I'd rather be single and alone than hanging on to a very toxic relationship. This guy sound like a complete flake, for him to spend a weekend at another girls house and leave you hanging, that's a complete foul. I would NEVER, EVER do that to my S.O.

 

Good luck to you.

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He was all about me all day and every day. I was literally his world. He refused to let me break up with him..

 

 

This guy sounds like an emotional leach. He can't be single/ make it on his own. Hence, when he felt that your relationship was going south, instead of telling you, he monkey branched.

 

People who are like that are a mix of cowardice and selfishness. Even if he were to come back (which may happen if things go south with that girl and he has no other to replace her), chances are that he would do the same to you again. I hope for your sake that he doesn't come back or that you see him in time for the selfish coward leach that he is. This is a man you can't trust when things get tough and life is by definition tough.

 

The feeling of being cut off like that is traumatic and can hurt one's self-esteem but what he did is not about you. In reality it's about him being a selfish coward with no moral code. What he did is no reflection of your value as a partner. It IS though a reflection of HIS value as a partner and of who he really is: A selfish coward with no moral code. You need to take him off the pedestal. People like him are liable to throw their partner under the bus whenever life gets tough for them and stay with whomever they can leach off.

 

Right now things are fresh and your brain needs time to adjust to the unveiling of his true colors. Don't go after him. He cannot give you closure because he cannot undo what he did nor is there any words he can ever say that will undo the damage.

 

Give yourself time and space from him. In time you will see that your relationship had been deteriorating for a time (his move out and you thinking of breaking up were signs that things weren't working) and that you got blindsided by his cowardice and/or were in denial about his true colors and what was really happening.

 

In time your closure will come from within. You will accept that things weren't really working and that he was too much of a selfish coward to do right by you and you will move on. Good luck with your healing. You were rid of a leach and that is a good thing. You just need time and emotional distance from the events in order to see this for yourself as we uninvolved "bystanders" can.

Edited by Clio
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