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Backstory, I've been married for 13 years now, but we are separated. I'm 35 and have two kids.

 

So, a few weeks ago, I reconnected with an ex, who was also one of my best friends. I found him on Facebook and messaged him. I hadn't talked to him in 13 years, basically when my husband and I moved in with eachother and got married. My husband wasn't comfortable with me being friends with him, so I cut off all contact with him.

 

Well, I looked him up on Facebook and messaged him and we had literally been texting and talking on the phone for hours at a time. Like I said, I have two kids and they're busy, I don't usually take time out for myself. I had no intentions on even talking to him like that. I honestly thought, when I messaged him, that we would chat for a few minutes, friend eachother, and that basically be it. But we texted for a few hours and then he wanted to call, so he called and we were on the phone all night. If felt good to have a friend to talk to. I talked to him about what was happening with my husband, about all the cheating, about my kids. Things that I haven't told anyone. We would talk about anything and everything. It literally felt like the last 13 years hadn't even happened, felt like we were 20 years old again in the prime of our relationship and friendship. It felt so nice.

 

He started talking to me about us. He asked if I thought things happened for a reason. Asked why I thought to look him up then and then confessed that he tried to look me up a couple of times through the years and couldn't find me. He told me that he thought about me all the time and that he saved so many things. He lives 3 hours away now and unfortunately, between kids stuff, work and myself having to go out of town, we haven't been able to meet up yet. But next weekend we were going to meet up, have dinner and everything. He told me that he hoped that I still like him and wish that we could fall asleep with eachother, all that. This is the part that makes me a little mad, I told him that I needed to take things slow and that I start to fall for people fast. I told him that if he was saying these things to please be serious because I'm not one for casual relationships. At that point, he told me he was sorry and that he would back off and we would just see how things panned out. I was fine with that. Like I said, I had no intentions of starting anything up when I looked him up. Well, a few days later, he started up again. Hard. And so I thought, maybe this is it. Maybe, we went through all of this hard stuff, even together, to get to this point. Where we were both older, put together, knew what we wanted, all that. Literally made plans last night for next weekend, when I'm finally off and have a babysitter.

 

Then, this same guy, calls me at 630 this morning and tells me that we need to talk. That he was kind of talking to someone before we started talking and that he's sorry for leading me on. That he should have pumped the brakes, especially when I explained to him how I wanted to just take it slow. I was so heartbroken :-(...Like, almost as heartbroken as when my husband told me he was cheating on me. I just don't understand why he wouldn't have told me that in the first place, especially since I gave him an out, a couple of times. And I feel stupid for letting myself get excited. And I don't know what to do, because that wasn't the reason that I was contacting him. But this is what happened when we were younger, we were really close, he was my first everything, but then it was like, I was a placeholder all the time. But when we were together, it was the best friendship/relationship I ever had. Until it wasn't. But I want to be friends with him, but I already feel like I can't because I don't want to hear about him dating some other girl. But I would have been fine with it a couple of weeks ago. 😭. My life is such a freaking mess.

 

Should I just leave the whole friendship alone, again? Should I stick around and see what happens? Should I tell him exactly how I feel? He asked me to please call him today, but I didnt. I sent one little text, but that was it. But he hasn't contacted me today, but he told me he was going to be busy today. I don't know. Sorry this is so long. I thought 35 was too old for this.

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He said he was sorry for leading you on. That is what would stick out in my mind. I would had one last talk with him, and that would be to tell him that since he has someone, you are also free to seek someone. You will both need to see where this leads to...maybe nothing. Did you ever see the movie, " When Harry me Sally?" chi

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You reconnected with him and the same pattern of using you as a placeholder emerged. That's not how what "best friends" act. Imo, you should leave the whole friendship alone.

 

It's not that "nothing ever works for you". It's that right now you are in the middle of a very difficult situation. Going through a divorce is not a good period to reconnect with an ex, even as a friend. Imo, you are in denial regarding what pushed you to seek him out. You were trying to escape your current life and that's not a good reason to reconnect with an ex even as a friend, if you think about it. Yet, you need to focus on sorting out your divorce and heal from the betrayal. Things WILL get better in time. Good luck.

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Sorry to hear this. Is your husband still living with you? Have you found a place to live? It would be better to talk to an attorney and a therapist about this rather than dredge up old acquaintances and looking for sympathy or rescuing. Focus on getting divorced, your children, getting the appropriate child support for them and making sure you are employed and financially stable.

 

My advice remains the same about your situation: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=551620&p=7013785&viewfull=1#post7013785

I talked to him about what was happening with my husband, about all the cheating, about my kids. Things that I haven't told anyone.
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Don`t feel stupid. Or anxious. Relax here for me. Take a breath, maybe make yourself a margarita and get some time out in the sun. Or chill with pop corn and a movie on the couch, cuddling with your kids. In essence - stop YOURSELF. :friendly_wink:

 

Now, old somethings never become new anythings in my opinion. [/color]You have selected the good memories off of this ex and what you had together and in comparison to what your ex husband did to you, it looks like a fairytale. But it is not. I want you to focus on the bad memories with him. Then I want you to understand that since this is such a hard time for you, this enthusiasm of reconnecting with the past is just an emotional shield to protect you from your current emotional reality. Being cheated> divorce> sadness> loss> memory process> digging deeper to find happy memories>ex pops up> he reciprocates the interest>you get a pick me up. It`s completely normal and I think you should stop blaming yourself over this. Stop with the past, cut all cords and see this, right now, everyday life. You are blessed to have 2 children and to have escaped a life with a cheating a$$hole. YOU ARE FREEEEEEEE :p

 

As far as why he pulled away, and forgive me if I`m being offensive but, have you 2 connected sexually? Because I find the "oh my God I completely forgot about this other girl I was talking to before you" a sh*tload of bullsh*t on his part.

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You're probably right 😭. It's been a terrible time. My husband was the one who wanted to get a divorce, but he's dragging his feet with it and trying to make me feel like everything is my fault. I'm living with my parents, at the moment, and I just feel so alone because I don't want to talk to anyone about everything.

 

Then I started talking to Justin again and it just felt so good to 1. Talk about everything. Because on top of all of this, my 5 year old son is having severe behavioral issues at school. And I have no one to talk to that actually listens. And it just felt so good to talk it out. He actually listens and actually cares. And it's been years since I've had a connection with anyone like that. And 2. It just felt so good to have contact with anyone and I honestly thought that maybe this was really it. I know it's stupid because it was only a few weeks, but it really felt really real. Luckily, we hadn't been able to meet up yet, because I'm sure it would have turned sexual and then I'd be in an even bigger mess. 😭😭

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Don`t feel stupid. Or anxious. Relax here for me. Take a breath, maybe make yourself a margarita and get some time out in the sun. Or chill with pop corn and a movie on the couch, cuddling with your kids. In essence - stop YOURSELF. :friendly_wink:

 

Now, old somethings never become new anythings in my opinion. [/color]You have selected the good memories off of this ex and what you had together and in comparison to what your ex husband did to you, it looks like a fairytale. But it is not. I want you to focus on the bad memories with him. Then I want you to understand that since this is such a hard time for you, this enthusiasm of reconnecting with the past is just an emotional shield to protect you from your current emotional reality. Being cheated> divorce> sadness> loss> memory process> digging deeper to find happy memories>ex pops up> he reciprocates the interest>you get a pick me up. It`s completely normal and I think you should stop blaming yourself over this. Stop with the past, cut all cords and see this, right now, everyday life. You are blessed to have 2 children and to have escaped a life with a cheating a$$hole. YOU ARE FREEEEEEEE :p

 

As far as why he pulled away, and forgive me if I`m being offensive but, have you 2 connected sexually? Because I find the "oh my God I completely forgot about this other girl I was talking to before you" a sh*tload of bullsh*t on his part.

 

I don't know, I don't even feel free. My husband is dragging his feet on finalizing any divorce, even though he's with his third woman (even got her pregnant, but she had a miscarriage). He tells me that I didn't care enough for him and that it's ally fault and his family's fault that he is the way he is. Justin was the first person who talked to me about it and made me feel like it wasn't my fault and that I just needed to leave my husband to be by himself and not to worry about him anymore.

 

I just feel like I'm a mess and I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't open up to anyone. I just pretend that everything is ok, but I was always able to open to Justin.

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This FB guy is not a professional child psychologist, your son's teacher or a pediatrician. Stop hiding. He is not your surrogate husband or a surrogate father. He is a FB acquaintance. A therapist and attorney could actually help you. Why doesn't your family care? Obviously they know about your issues because you live there. Get support from more appropriate resources. Friends extended family support groups, etc. Trawling FB is lazy and won't help your son. Focus on your son not some fake FB romance.

my 5 year old son is having severe behavioral issues at school. And I have no one to talk to that actually listens. And it just felt so good to talk it out.
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I don't know, I don't even feel free... He tells me that I didn't care enough for him and that it's ally fault and his family's fault that he is the way he is. Justin was the first person who talked to me about it and made me feel like it wasn't my fault...

 

Hahahahaaha of course it`s your fault he cheated! How else could it be with a self loathing, abusive, clown of a man? You know what, him saying that is a good thing. A VERY good thing. Shows you what kind of a POS he is and how lucky you are to have him out of your door.

 

It`s fine, you don`t have to rush feeling like anything at this moment. See, no clock is ticking, no one waits, nothing is pending. Since your divorce is on its way you needn`t worry. Have a talk with your lawyer to press on and let it be. I suggest you completely cut off communication with your ex hus-not-even-band. Details of his life should be of no interest to you. Think of it this way: you already had a wedding, already have kids, you have a job (I pressume) and you are still SO FREAKING YOUNG?!?! Come on now, you are better than most women I know! Yeah ok you divorced so what? You were saved, living with a dead beat clown is worse than being divorced. Thank the stars you live in a country that allows for that. Many women around the globe are forced to marry and stay married with monsters and have no way of escaping. The kids- you don`t have to bent your life anymore to satisfy your biological clock! And did I mention, you have 2 beautiful souls to forever love you and care for you?:D Justin who? You got a visit from the ghost of past christmas sorta speak. They contributed to something yes, now it`s time for them to go. Remember the days you thought that something was impossible? I`m sure you did at some point. And things DID work out!

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Actually I seem to be thinking about this situation a bit differently. I don't really think this guy led you on. I mean you hadn't spoken to him in thirteen years and you contacted him totally out of the blue. He didn't really owe you anything. Also nothing happened between you except only talking. Talking online, not even in person. To be honest your behaviour is basically acting like you're on a massive rebound. Which you probably are!

 

I understand you're really hurt from everything your husband did to you and this is a difficult time for you. But let's be honest, you most likely subconsciously wanted to look your ex up to get attention and validation because you're going through a bad time. You hadn't spoken to him at all for thirteen years! That's a really long time!

 

As soon as you got back in touch with him, you basically started offloading your problems on him and using him as a rebound and emotional crutch. And for some reason he was buying into it and responding to you. It's not really fair to ignore someone for thirteen years and then out of the blue just expect them to listen to your issues and support you. And to suddenly start dating! Sorry but the whole thing just sounds implausible.

 

I think eventually your ex realised that you're just on the rebound and probably not ready to date. It does seem like you were probably mostly projecting on him because you hadn't met any other new men yet. I mean how can you seriously still have feelings for him when you cut him off and had a family with another man for more than a decade?

 

I personally don't really think he did anything wrong. You say you didn't look him up with any ulterior motives. Really? So why didn't you just turn to your family and friends for support? Why did you have to come to your ex?

 

"I just feel like I'm a mess and I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't open up to anyone. I just pretend that everything is ok, but I was always able to open to Justin."

 

I think you basically said yourself what I was trying to say. You don't want to be alone and he used to be a comfort.

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First let's change the narrative - you are not alone. You have your children, you have your family. What you are losing is a cheating lying disordered psychopath. It's like cutting out a malignant tumor that's slowly killing you inside.

 

Unfortunately, divorcing these people is like being at war. He will say horrible things, he will play games, he will mess with you every way he can just because he is that kind of an evil low life. So people are giving you good advice - get your head in the game, get a pitbull lawyer, get a good therapist to talk to and help you through. Start making concrete plans about work, getting your own place and so on. The more you focus on these pragmatic things and getting them done, the less you'll feel like you are helpless and alone and just want to be rescued. Become your own powerful rescue party.

 

There is also an online blog for those dealing with what you are going through with a lot of resources to deal with this called chumplady.com Look it up. You might find it useful in terms of understanding that you are not responsible for his cheating.

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So people are giving you good advice - get your head in the game, get a pitbull lawyer, get a good therapist to talk to and help you through. Start making concrete plans about work, getting your own place and so on. The more you focus on these pragmatic things and getting them done, the less you'll feel like you are helpless and alone and just want to be rescued. Become your own powerful rescue party.

 

Yep. things don't just work out, for anyone. We need to work them. Leapfrogging from an abusive ex to a stranger you haven't known for 13 years isn't a crime, but it's not likely to just 'work out,' either.

 

Putting your own life on solid ground, first and foremost, is something we all need to do before we can adopt good judgment in selecting a partner. Getting sidetracked by a flake isn't part of that agenda. It's also nothing to beat yourself up over.

 

Head high.

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Why be mad? He was your placeholder. The fact that you had to detail about how much you were hurt by your ex, and he had to listen to all that, and then you telling him to pump the brakes, you are telling him 100%, you're my rebound, and you will not have my full attention.

 

I would have said anything to not get involved in the sticky situation. You aren't ready to date someone you could really see yourself with. You are ready to have fun and date people - just not someone that would be your lost love.

 

Go have fun, and get your head on straight.

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Thanks, everyone.

 

I think that when I contacted him, maybe I wasn't expecting anything, but I was hoping for something, deep down. And that was my fault. I wish i hadn't contacted him, though, lol. It was just weird. I know I shouldn't have even thought about it, but I think I clung to him because he was the first person in years that even pretended to care. He would call me and ask how things were going. He would make the first move on whatever. But I don't know, I probably scared him away because he doesn't even want to talk anymore. I texted him (I know I shouldn't have) and asked him if we should just talk again in another 13 years and he just said "no, just intermittently". Lol, so I just said, I've got it, and goodbye. So, yeah, I guess that was good while it lasted.

 

This morning, while driving to work, I just couldn't stop crying. It wasn't just because of him. It's because I'm just not ok. I do have my family, but I can't talk to them about any of this because 1. They don't know how bad everything with my husband is/was. I don't want to tell them because it just won't be good. And 2. Everybody thinks, all my friends and family, that I'm so strong and happy all the time. And my kids, I have to keep moving on for them. But I'm not ok. I honestly, most days, just want to close myself off from everyone and be alone. But I can't. And he made me feel good for the few weeks I had him again, but I was just using him.

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Stop blaming yourself; I think this is why you won't talk to anyone. You think he cheated because of something you did. BIG FAT NOPE. He cheated because he's a scumbag.

 

Repeat after me - He's a scumbag.

 

And the person who is the strongest is the person who can be vulnerable. The person who can say when enough is enough. The person who is not afraid to speak up. Your love ones want to be there for you. They don't want the perfect picture of some fake instagrammer. They want real; not a robot. And if you keep it all in, you're just gonna explode. Lean on family because I'm sure they can lean on you. Be real with yourself and others.

 

I find it you believe someone is totally normal, or perfect, you just don't know that person very well.

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Thanks, everyone.

 

I think that when I contacted him, maybe I wasn't expecting anything, but I was hoping for something, deep down. And that was my fault. I wish i hadn't contacted him, though, lol. It was just weird. I know I shouldn't have even thought about it, but I think I clung to him because he was the first person in years that even pretended to care. He would call me and ask how things were going. He would make the first move on whatever. But I don't know, I probably scared him away because he doesn't even want to talk anymore. I texted him (I know I shouldn't have) and asked him if we should just talk again in another 13 years and he just said "no, just intermittently". Lol, so I just said, I've got it, and goodbye. So, yeah, I guess that was good while it lasted.

 

This morning, while driving to work, I just couldn't stop crying. It wasn't just because of him. It's because I'm just not ok. I do have my family, but I can't talk to them about any of this because 1. They don't know how bad everything with my husband is/was. I don't want to tell them because it just won't be good. And 2. Everybody thinks, all my friends and family, that I'm so strong and happy all the time. And my kids, I have to keep moving on for them. But I'm not ok. I honestly, most days, just want to close myself off from everyone and be alone. But I can't. And he made me feel good for the few weeks I had him again, but I was just using him.

 

Stop pretending and start being honest with the people in your life who actually care about you - your family and your friends. To get the help that you crave, you need to open up and tell the truth.

 

I realize that being in a relationship with a cheater, you've already spent a lot of your time pretending and trying to make out like everything is just great. It was a life of lies. Time to start living more honestly. The support that you need is right there beside you, all you need to do is open your mouth and tell the truth and you'll have all the support in the world.

 

Again, I urge you to check out chumplady.con because she is another woman like you, who went through cheating and called BS in all caps on the shaming, victim blaming, and other bs that those who have been cheated on face daily. I think you'll find the resources there very very helpful and it might help you not only come to terms and stop hiding the truth, but also make you realize that you are far from alone in what you are going through.

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This morning, while driving to work, I just couldn't stop crying. It wasn't just because of him. It's because I'm just not ok. I do have my family, but I can't talk to them about any of this because 1. They don't know how bad everything with my husband is/was. I don't want to tell them because it just won't be good. And 2. Everybody thinks, all my friends and family, that I'm so strong and happy all the time. And my kids, I have to keep moving on for them. But I'm not ok. I honestly, most days, just want to close myself off from everyone and be alone. But I can't. And he made me feel good for the few weeks I had him again, but I was just using him.

 

In order to move on, for you, for your kids, you must take care of yourself. Your kids are going to get emotionally hurt if they see mom hurting, not fending for herself emotionally and drowning in misery. Worse even they could to mimic your behavior when they grow old. You have to teach them that no matter what happens, if the world beats you down 10 times, you`ll stand back up 11 times. They say you are strong - FIGHT FOR THAT TITLE, FIGHT FOR YOUR EXISTENCE. Expressing your needs, your feelings, your sadness, hurt, anger IS BEING STRONG. Leaving your needs unmet is what is coward. Open up to yourself, your people and seek happiness in simplicity. In time you will realize all you need- you have it already. I know women that are past their fertile years and they would KILL to have what you have even with a divorce. Hug yourself, you ARE STRONG. Play unstoppable by sia, it helps me, maybe it can help you as well. :friendly_wink:

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I'm going to file for the divorce myself. I realize that I can't even be free of my husband until I do it. I told my friend that I never filed for it myself because I felt bad for my husband. A part of me feels like he can't even go on by himself and that I still need to take care of him. Justin told me that I had a lot going on and I do. And that I needed to get everything sorted out.

 

Also, I'm going to start going to counseling. Maybe that will help me open up to other people. I love my family. But I just don't feel comfortable opening up to them about my marriage. I just don't. But I don't have any real close friends anymore. There are honestly a lot of people who know nothing about my situation. As far as they know, I'm still with my husband and everything is good.

 

 

Justin said that he still wants to talk but he said we needed to slow down. Which is fine. I realize that I'm not even ready to get into anything right now. I think that I was just kind of thrown for a loop because it was so sudden. We'd gotten off the phone with eachother at midnight and everything was good. And then at 630, he calls and we need to take a break. :-/. And to make matters worse, I warned him and he was still the one that was pursuing. Yes, I was probably using him. But I think it did just hurt my feelings or pride even that one second, we were maybe trying something again then the next minute I'm getting friend zoned. Should I just not contact him or can I still talk to him?

 

Ugh...I'm just a mess :-(. Sorry guys...I know I should just leave the situation alone, but I'm just like why would he say all of that stuff to me just to push me away.

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It may have felt nice to confide in someone, but he is not being paid $200/hr to be your attorney or therapist. It seems like you are in denial if you are living a lie. What do your family think is going on if you and your kids are living with them?

 

You do not have to announce to everyone about your marital problems, but surely a few close family and friends have noticed? Even seeking out someone who has nothing to do with anyone as your confidant is a way to deny things and live a lie. What about your children? What are you telling them? Especially regarding them, therapy to help yourself navigate this and how to talk to them is important.

I'm going to file for the divorce myself. I'm going to start going to counseling.

 

Justin told me that I had a lot going on and I do. And that I needed to get everything sorted out.

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Go and apologize to at least one or two of your friends that things fell by the wayside, and just be upfront that you let the friendship slip away is because you felt embarrassed that you didn't have you're sh+t together. Honey, EVERYONE is going through something, whether personal, career, money. You can be happy, you can be fulfilled, but there are always two sides of every coin. And a real friend gets that. Reach out. You'll need it! Invite them out. I know that getting married, having kids, it's very hard to make you and friendships a priority, but try once a month. Call one you miss the most up. And then another. And go listen to Lizzo on repeat. You will be okay - I promise.

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This is probably one, if not,the most vulnerable times in your life. It's no mystery you looked up an ex, connected with him and felt a small skip in your step for moment. Who wouldn't want that, especially while going through what you're going through? Don't beat yourself up over it.

 

But what you do need to take away from this is you are very vulnerable to the attention of another man. But as you've just learned, coming from a low place, you don't make the best of decisions.

 

I'd write this `friend' off. He didn't do right by you 13 years ago and he did the same again. I don't think he led you on. I think he was testing you to see if you'd be up for a fun time. When you told him to slow his roll, he back peddled. He's not your friend.

 

Spend this time getting your balance back, taking care of your kids and grieving the end of your marriage. You'll make better choices coming from a place of good self esteem and not when you are so vulnerable.

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Yes, you should leave it behind you. It is a closed chapter that you went back and reflected on out of dissatisfaction with your current set of circumstances. That nostalgia can be a temporary distraction, but it can never amount to anything more than that. It's in the past where it will always remain and you must leave it there, focus on what needs to be done with your life in the present, and move forward.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm sorry guys, but I'm back. I hadn't texted, let's just call him my friend, for a couple of days and then of course, he starts to text me back. I'm just confused. Again, I'm fine with being friends. But I don't know if I know how to be friends, lol, if that makes sense. Most of my friends don't text me every day, even when he's busy he texts me every morning to say good morning and that he's heading in to work and even when I'm busy, he texts me every night to tell me goodnight. He texts me to let me know when he's done with work, then if I answer, he calls me. I dont text or call him first anymore because I don't really understand what's going on.

 

I asked him about his "girlfriend" and he told me that he doesn't see her like that. He told me that he's been hurt so much that he doesn't really have feelings for anyone anymore. That he just dates people to basically get to know them and make friends. I honestly thought that he was lying about have been talking to someone because he's literally on the phone with me or texting me almost anytime that he's not at work. It's been friendly talk for the most part. Not like it was before where it was super flirty, kissy faces, all that. He did "pump the brakes" like he said we needed to. And apparently, he did go out with his "friend" on Saturday. I'm assuming that that was why he called me early Sunday the first time to tell me he was sorry and to pump the brakes, because he went out with the other girl and then was feeling guilty.

 

But anyway, I guess what I'm asking, is what does this all mean? I like talking to him. No, I don't think that I'm ready to date, but if he were to come here and ask, I wouldn't turn him down. How do I just be friends with him? And I know, most of you said I should just leave this whole thing behind, but I don't think he's trying to hurt me...but I've been cautious, trying to keep the ball in my court, so I don't know.

 

Basically, I'm trying to take things one day at a time...but, is this normal in a friendship?

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Don't fall for the car talk routine. Anyone can text from a toilet, even in a gf's house. If he is not actively asking you out on dates, don't respond to nonsense texts.

he texts me every morning to say good morning and that he's heading in to work. He texts me to let me know when he's done with work, then if I answer, he calls me.
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I'm sorry guys, but I'm back. I hadn't texted, let's just call him my friend, for a couple of days and then of course, he starts to text me back. I'm just confused. Again, I'm fine with being friends. But I don't know if I know how to be friends, lol, if that makes sense. Most of my friends don't text me every day, even when he's busy he texts me every morning to say good morning and that he's heading in to work and even when I'm busy, he texts me every night to tell me goodnight. He texts me to let me know when he's done with work, then if I answer, he calls me. I dont text or call him first anymore because I don't really understand what's going on.

 

I asked him about his "girlfriend" and he told me that he doesn't see her like that. He told me that he's been hurt so much that he doesn't really have feelings for anyone anymore. That he just dates people to basically get to know them and make friends. I honestly thought that he was lying about have been talking to someone because he's literally on the phone with me or texting me almost anytime that he's not at work. It's been friendly talk for the most part. Not like it was before where it was super flirty, kissy faces, all that. He did "pump the brakes" like he said we needed to. And apparently, he did go out with his "friend" on Saturday. I'm assuming that that was why he called me early Sunday the first time to tell me he was sorry and to pump the brakes, because he went out with the other girl and then was feeling guilty.

 

But anyway, I guess what I'm asking, is what does this all mean? I like talking to him. No, I don't think that I'm ready to date, but if he were to come here and ask, I wouldn't turn him down. How do I just be friends with him? And I know, most of you said I should just leave this whole thing behind, but I don't think he's trying to hurt me...but I've been cautious, trying to keep the ball in my court, so I don't know.

 

Basically, I'm trying to take things one day at a time...but, is this normal in a friendship?

 

Ghaaad, this is such a huge 'yuck,' and I'm sorry that you don't have the clarity to see that.

 

Please find something more productive to do with your time and energy. This guy is not worth your investment.

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