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I think my boss is sexually attracted to me


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I've worked with my boss for 9 months. I'm a 24 yo lady and he's around 43 (divorced with 2 kids).

 

Ever since day 1 there has been sexual tension between us. He is nice, handsome, sexy and very understating (I've always had a crush on him, and I'm sure I'm not the only one because he's charming!) He has shown special interest in me, but lately he started acting sexual towards me.

 

- He always prefers to text me at night, and sometimes after midnight (when he's horny) he starts sexting me but not directly. For example, he sends me inappropriate emojis that show he would love to sleep with me

- He notices my clothes, eyes and body (he complimented my body twice but not in a weird way)

- He looks at my hands, fingers, toes when I talk to him

- He calls me special nicknames

- I make him laugh and he loves it

- He trusts me and asks for my opinion

- Sometimes he asks me to stay longer so he can have a one-to-one conversation with me

- One day he left work early and I didn't know so I texted him saying I needed to talk to him and he actually came all the way back just for me

- If I walked into the office without saying hi to him with a big smile, he would act cold with me the whole day

 

Also, the CEO once wanted to move me to another department because they needed more employees there, and my boss actually refused! He told the CEO (his manager) that he wouldn't let me go.

 

I don't know if that means he likes me or just sexually attracted to me but either way I still haven't reacted to his sexual behavior yet because I'm not sure what to do, I just ignore it now. I mean it's obvious that I like him but I also want to keep my job, I don't wanna ruin my relationship with him.

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What do you want to happen? Do you want an office romance with him or do you feel sexting you late at night is sexual harassment? He may want sexual favors but a man who respects you and has integrity does not act this way as your supervisor. It sounds like you even find this flattering and enjoy this type of disrespectful attention. Why don't you have a bf outside of work?

 

It's up to you to decide if you want to file sexual a harassment case or be the center of office gossip and speculation. Either way it would be a good idea to keep your resume up to date. Unfortunately because you welcome his sexual advances this much he will walk away from this and you will have to deal with the fall out of accepting sexual texts and coming onto him.

 

Is this the same guy?: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=558148&p=7106450&viewfull=1#post7106450

I've worked with my boss for 9 months. I'm a 24 yo lady and he's around 43 (divorced with 2 kids).

 

 

- He always prefers to text me at night, and sometimes after midnight (when he's horny) he starts sexting me but not directly.

I mean it's obvious that I like him but I also want to keep my job, I don't wanna ruin my relationship with him.

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There is a lot of room for interpretation in much of what you wrote, but a couple things jumped out at me:

 

What sort of sexual emojis is he sending you?

 

What did he say about your body?

 

You need to tread very carefully here. Sleeping with the boss is not wise and could backfire in a serious way.

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He sends you inappropriate emojis at night? He sounds way too immature and dumb for his age. He should care more about the financial obligations he has towards his 2 kids and stop playing fire with his job. You sound the smarter of the two and given your ages that is a glaring red flag right there.

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i would apply for the job the CEO wanted you for and i would get out of that department. I would also apply for other jobs.

 

I hope that you did not respond to these late night texts so no one can prove that you were a consenting participant (sexting right back at him, flirting, initiatating), and i would report him to HR. If you DID flirt with him, instigate and send sexy texts also, then you are a willing participant.

 

You need to learn how to shut people down also. If someone texts you late, you are free to set boundaries -- do not respond late. Tell them "please stop texting me" et.

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He wants to have sex with you. But it has nothing to do with emotions or caring about you. You're a young body and he wants to take advantage.

He's already had the wife and the babies, so he is over it. He won't be looking for that kind of relationship with you, it will purely be using your for sex.

 

The age difference alone should have tipped you off as to what his intentions are. You could be his daughter! So what else would he want with you but your body?

 

I am telling you this so that you won't allow this man to take advantage. He is someone in power who has no right to be behaving this way. He will use and abuse you and toss you when he's done.

If you don't believe it, you can venture down that path and find out for yourself. But it will ruin a part of who you are.

 

If you were going to deal with this the correct way, you should be telling a supervisor or HIS boss what is going on. He has no right to be acting this was with his subordinate.

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If I walked into the office without saying hi to him with a big smile, he would act cold with me the whole day

 

There you go. He doesn't give a rats butt about you. You entertain him for the time being and if you don't, he won't give you a second thought.

 

The way he is treating you isn't something to be flattered about.

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I am awed right now by how immature, disrespectful and gross this man is... Yikes!

I would respond to his emojis with an "OK BOOMER" haha.:tongue:

 

Seriously though, you need to control your hormones and your raging mind and focus on facts ,your security and respect. You know he wants only sex, right? I mean come on now. You just want an excuse to agree to it. But there is none, unless you want to be someones toy for a while and then be discarded from both his life and your job. It`s not fair to do this WILLINGLY to yourself. Then you`ll feel so stupid.

 

Also he sounds manipulative and narsicistic "If I walked into the office without saying hi to him with a big smile, he would act cold with me the whole day". Really? How self loathing is this? Either worship me or get my indifference? Honey please... :eek:

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  • 1 month later...
  • 2 months later...

Keep your distance; maybe transferring to another department is a wise move. You seem to be enjoying the sexual attention. Please stop it while you still can. The situation may not only cost you your job, but also your heart. If he has sincere intentions, he would have told you already in a more respectful manner.

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So a horny old dude who could be the age of your dad yet no maturity to control himself at work plus a divorce and 2 kids yet so immature that he sulks when you don't acknowledge him and texts like a middle schooler....this is what you want to sign up? At 24?

 

This is a sign that it is already time to take an evaluation of were you are at in life, what you have experienced that would make any of this sound acceptable, then learn to avoid people who are a cesspool of dysfunctional disaster. If you continue to go towards people like this, it's going to be a rough couple of years or decades for you filled with problem people.

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concentrate on what is right for you, stop this communication for some days and think clearly on what you want.

such work affairs have no meaning to it to be honest,most probably he might be doing it with many others as well.

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