I think I need to break up with my boyfriend

[Snake25]

My boyfriend and I are both in college. He moved here by himself and he doesn’t have friends here aside from the ones he met because of me.

A chain of events happened and now he is living in my parent’s apartment style basement so he can save money. I live at my parents as well but I’m in my own room.

I care about him so much and I don’t want to break up with him. I just feel trapped in this relationship and there isn’t any way for me to get out without making a mess of everything. I just don’t know what to do. I want to stay with him but I don’t.

[Keyman]

I want to stay with him but I don’t.

Firstly, he needs to move out. This is causing you the issues at present and the feeling of being trapped. Once he is out, then hopefully you can feel less so trapped and can determine what you want.

[MissCanuck]

Why do you feel trapped, OP?

[Jibralta]

Firstly, he needs to move out. This is causing you the issues at present and the feeling of being trapped.

 

Yeah, it might help your thought process if he moves out first. With him living at your parents' and him only being friends with your friends at the moment, you may be feeling overwhelmed by his constant proximity. Things might change if you can air things out a little.

[Wiseman2]

You and your family are not the student housing dept at college. Where are his parents? Why isn't he applying for scholarships, dorms, student housing, working part time, etc?

 

Stop putting your parents in this awful position and explain to your bf that he needs to find appropriate housing and funding. Never try to hang onto a boy this badly so much so that you beg your parents to support him. That is a horrible precedence for the future. Never buy anyone's affection or attention, no less make your parents foot the bill so you can have a bf..

he is living in my parent’s apartment style basement so he can save money. I live at my parents as well but I’m in my own room.

I care about him so much and I don’t want to break up with him.

[catfeeder]

Step 1 would be to work with him on his plans to move out. If he hasn't set a target date, then raise one and help him look for alternatives. From there, any move you want to make won't have the same consequences as trying to break up with someone who is living with you.

[ninjabib]

Yes i would also agree he needs to move out first and foremost.

 

Also why do yuo feel trapped?

[smackie9]

I get it, he doesn't have a social life of his own so he is always with you in whatever you have plan to do. You feel too obligated and saying no to him worries you that he will get hurt. You are right, everyone needs a life outside of a relationship and you don't have one. You are way too young to be in this position. you should be out having your own fun enjoying your independence.

 

This is the lesson of the day: Communication. You have to have a few discussions with him about this and see if making some changes like him moving out, and him making his own friends, doing activities on his own will make this right. This will bring relief to you for sure.