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I've never been a very forward person when it comes to flirting, but I have my subtle ways to let a man know that there is an attraction, like looking at him directly at his eyes or smile a lot, etc

 

The story is this: My mother is waiting for a knee replacement surgery dr. recommended to get in better shape before it, so her and I (who do not live together) started to go swimming daily in the evenings, the facility to attend has a gym and a pool. due to my mother's mobility issues, the gym attendant often assists her going down an old elevator that he has to operate with a key.

 

So, from the first day I met him, we stroke up a conversation, and he is a very nice person, eventually his flirting got really obvious and among other things, he said to me (in front of my mother) how much he liked the evenings at his job as he "got to see me" and how he now expected I showed up... whenever I cannot make it together with my mom he asks her about me, etc.

 

Our conversations are very short, polite, he inquires about my progress swimming, etc, but never asks anything personal, nor do I.

 

I have developed a crush on him of course, but I don't want to make things uncomfortable, since he is technically at his job, I have no idea if he has any interest in me, if he is single, or he is just a friendly-flirty guy. I want to ask him just at least so I know! and I'm not wondering... but I have no idea how to do it. or if I should do it at all.... because I am not looking for a relationship at the moment... I will be moving out of state in the summer, so why bother starting something, unless it was something very casual... please help!

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Well if you're moving away then you are right, there is no point to date. It does sound like he likes you but also sometimes some people do just like to flirt and get attention. I think the only thing you can do with him really is casual. You could ask him out for drink or something and see what he says? Are you open to just casual sex with him or do you think you'd get too attached? If you get too attached then you may want to just not worry about it...

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If you're not looking for a relationship at the moment AND moving out of the state this summer, don't waste your time, energy and attention on him. No sense associating with someone temporarily. Someone will end up getting hurt when you part ways.

 

When you're residing permanently out-of-state, focus on a relationship within your local geography which is more practical.

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Write your phone number on a piece of paper and either give it to him just as you're leaving or have your mother hand it to him and ask him to text if he wants to.

 

It's the easiest way I can think of without asking him out.

 

I definitely want to do that, what should the note say?

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If you're not looking for a relationship at the moment AND moving out of the state this summer, don't waste your time, energy and attention on him. No sense associating with someone temporarily. Someone will end up getting hurt when you part ways.

 

When you're residing permanently out-of-state, focus on a relationship within your local geography which is more practical.

 

I see what you say Cherylyn, I, however, don't see anything wrong on seeing someone temporarily, if we are honest from the start... not all relationships are forever, dating wouldn't exists if they were

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Have you ever asked him about his weekend plans? That might be a good opening to find out if he has a gf or wife.

 

Also, if he reciprocates the question, then you can say you aren't doing anything on x night, and see if he takes the bait. Another one is ask what he does when he isn't working - interests, hobbies see if there is something there where you can say "me too, we should totally go do this.", or if there is some event or festival coming up that you can talk about. It will give you an easy reason to exchange numbers and step things up. He is already chatting you up and flirting with you, so turning the convo this way shouldn't be hard at all.

 

I would not give him any notes, it's too much middle school behavior for adults.

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Have you ever asked him about his weekend plans? That might be a good opening to find out if he has a gf or wife.

 

Also, if he reciprocates the question, then you can say you aren't doing anything on x night, and see if he takes the bait. Another one is ask what he does when he isn't working - interests, hobbies see if there is something there where you can say "me too, we should totally go do this.", or if there is some event or festival coming up that you can talk about. It will give you an easy reason to exchange numbers and step things up. He is already chatting you up and flirting with you, so turning the convo this way shouldn't be hard at all.

 

I would not give him any notes, it's too much middle school behavior for adults.

 

I really like this approach, it's more subtle ;)

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I see what you say Cherylyn, I, however, don't see anything wrong on seeing someone temporarily, if we are honest from the start... not all relationships are forever, dating wouldn't exists if they were

 

As long as both of you don't have any high expectations due to your temporary residence, go for it!

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He's just being nice. It's a myth that everyone we see who is attractive/friendly has to be asked out or there is a "missed opportunity". That is rom-com stuff, not real life. Keep in mind if your mother needs to continue her physical therapy at this facility you'll make it awkward by hitting on this guy.

 

Join some of your own groups and clubs. Take some courses and classes and volunteer. Get on some quality (paid) dating apps with a nice profile and pics and start messaging and meeting men. If he were interested it would be crystal clear.

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  • 2 weeks later...

So, just a little update... It couldn't have gone better!!!

 

I didn't gather the guts to ask him face to face, so I carried a note with me for a whole week lol. Then decided to give up, like wiseman said, if he was interested in me he would make it crystal clear... In the meantime we continued to flirt with each other...Well, today I brought the note back with me, I had a good feeling about today... he asked me for my phone number when we said goodbye so I just handed him the note and said "great minds think alike" and I went home with a smile on my face. ..

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So, just a little update... It couldn't have gone better!!!

 

I didn't gather the guts to ask him face to face, so I carried a note with me for a whole week lol. Then decided to give up, like wiseman said, if he was interested in me he would make it crystal clear... In the meantime we continued to flirt with each other...Well, today I brought the note back with me, I had a good feeling about today... he asked me for my phone number when we said goodbye so I just handed him the note and said "great minds think alike" and I went home with a smile on my face. ..

 

Very cool! Keep us posted! I had a similar thing happen once and we went out a few times.

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Well, today I brought the note back with me, I had a good feeling about today... he asked me for my phone number when we said goodbye so I just handed him the note and said "great minds think alike" and I went home with a smile on my face. ..

 

YAY!!! That's so awesome :D

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