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Having a baby in lock down sticky maggot donkey balls.

Yesterday we had a4 hour tantrum. Didn't want boob, didn't want cuddles, didn't want nappy change, no teething, might've been a bit hot but no temp. 4 bloody hours of screaming, she eventually had boob and went to sleep for an hour, then up for more boob and barely any sleep for me.

I can't talk to mum cause she's incredibly unwell and back in hospital. Im incredibly frustrated with my brother and don't think he's doing what he should be.

Fiance and I have no support outside of ourselves due to lock down, no one who can just distract baby or take baby for a walk.

I tried taking her out at lunch time but cause there's no foot paths and it's a single track road, she'd wake up every time I stopped to let cars pass (a lot!) Tried just singing to her changing rooms everything i could think of. Then we also tried a drive. Nothing worked until she cried herself out in our arms (i hate the cry it out method, teaches babies no one's coming for them when they're upset or need something)

 

Im exhausted and im upset she's awake after minimal sleep.

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I'm so sorry you are sleep deprived. She's not having a tantrum. She's just a newborn infant. That's what they do. She doesn't mean it, she is not behaving badly, she's behaving normally. That may or may not help your perspective!! I know it's frustrating and harder with all the restrictions - I couldn't go out easily either when mine was a newborn because I solo parented and we had the H1N1 flu epidemic with no vaccines so I had to be extra careful. My husband had to take care of his parents plus travel every week and I had no help. The very first time someone else took the baby for a walk was when he was 5 months old and I let my friend take him on a 3 minute stroll around the block so I didn't have to carry him up a flight of stairs to go to my favorite coffee shop. She made me let her do it. I let immediate family hold him but I never left him alone other than with my husband. First sitter was when he was around 15 months old. Many parents unfortunately are in our situations and others do have outside help of some kind. Some are stuck indoors even when there's no pandemic. I know it's so hard and I can't imagine feeling all the stress and exhaustion you're feeling -just sharing how it felt to me.

 

It does get better for almost all babies as they develop -she will sleep for longer stretches.

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I'm so sorry you are sleep deprived. She's not having a tantrum. She's just a newborn infant. That's what they do. She doesn't mean it, she is not behaving badly, she's behaving normally. That may or may not help your perspective!! I know it's frustrating and harder with all the restrictions - I couldn't go out easily either when mine was a newborn because I solo parented and we had the H1N1 flu epidemic with no vaccines so I had to be extra careful. My husband had to take care of his parents plus travel every week and I had no help. The very first time someone else took the baby for a walk was when he was 5 months old and I let my friend take him on a 3 minute stroll around the block so I didn't have to carry him up a flight of stairs to go to my favorite coffee shop. She made me let her do it. I let immediate family hold him but I never left him alone other than with my husband. First sitter was when he was around 15 months old. Many parents unfortunately are in our situations and others do have outside help of some kind. Some are stuck indoors even when there's no pandemic. I know it's so hard and I can't imagine feeling all the stress and exhaustion you're feeling -just sharing how it felt to me.

 

It does get better for almost all babies as they develop -she will sleep for longer stretches.

 

Thank you. Oh I know it wasn't a tantrum as such logically. But oh my it was so so so hard going through it and nothing I could do made it better. So far we're having a better day today. Yesterday was just too much, mixed in with my plummeting mental health I just couldn't cope. But keeping strong. Fiance let his manager know what's going on, so if he needs to take over in day for 10 min so I can clear my head or whatever is all good.

 

Other than last night, when she actually goes down for the night, we get roughly 9pm-1/2am (first hour on me) then 2/3 until 4.30/5 I can cope with that ok and she'll dose on and off all morning on me. She's currently kipping on me now after a feed. She's enjoyed lots of interaction this lunch time. Lots of singing, fiance sat with her on the grass in garden etc. Feeling more positive about things right now.

 

I've adapted the song 'if you're happy and you know it's so I have if you're angry and you know it scream and shout/ thrash about, if your hungry and you know it punch the boob/ have your lunch etc. Lol it keeps me sane even if it doesn't help her..

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Thank you. Oh I know it wasn't a tantrum as such logically. But oh my it was so so so hard going through it and nothing I could do made it better. So far we're having a better day today. Yesterday was just too much, mixed in with my plummeting mental health I just couldn't cope. But keeping strong. Fiance let his manager know what's going on, so if he needs to take over in day for 10 min so I can clear my head or whatever is all good.

 

Other than last night, when she actually goes down for the night, we get roughly 9pm-1/2am (first hour on me) then 2/3 until 4.30/5 I can cope with that ok and she'll dose on and off all morning on me. She's currently kipping on me now after a feed. She's enjoyed lots of interaction this lunch time. Lots of singing, fiance sat with her on the grass in garden etc. Feeling more positive about things right now.

 

I've adapted the song 'if you're happy and you know it's so I have if you're angry and you know it scream and shout/ thrash about, if your hungry and you know it punch the boob/ have your lunch etc. Lol it keeps me sane even if it doesn't help her..

 

Yes singing helps the parent as much as the child. Glad it's a little better. Did you and your fiance take parenting classes? Hang in there!

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Yes singing helps the parent as much as the child. Glad it's a little better. Did you and your fiance take parenting classes? Hang in there!

 

Sadly no, they got cancelled due to covid. Hopefully we'll be able to get something once things are up and running again. Even if it's just mum and baby groups.

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Sadly no, they got cancelled due to covid. Hopefully we'll be able to get something once things are up and running again. Even if it's just mum and baby groups.

 

Just to cheer you up with a funny story. My husband and I took parenting classes. So first the teacher (who was VERY good so please don't think I am judging her) spelled baby "bady" on the white board. So my husband and I already were stifling our giggles every darn time she had us look at the white board. He kept whispering stuff to me about our "bady" and when our bady would be born.

 

Then she gave us baby dolls to work with. Change the diaper, etc. Now there is a scene in a 1970s movie The Exorcist -a very famous scene -where the possessed girl spins her head all the way around. It's iconic.

 

So my husband is again stifling giggles and he shows me that he's made the baby doll's head turn ALL the way around. OMG I was dying. Luckily the instructor didn't see. I just reminded him and he's cracking up again. He's an awesome and careful dad LOL.

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Just to cheer you up with a funny story. My husband and I took parenting classes. So first the teacher (who was VERY good so please don't think I am judging her) spelled baby "bady" on the white board. So my husband and I already were stifling our giggles every darn time she had us look at the white board. He kept whispering stuff to me about our "bady" and when our bady would be born.

 

Then she gave us baby dolls to work with. Change the diaper, etc. Now there is a scene in a 1970s movie The Exorcist -a very famous scene -where the possessed girl spins her head all the way around. It's iconic.

 

So my husband is again stifling giggles and he shows me that he's made the baby doll's head turn ALL the way around. OMG I was dying. Luckily the instructor didn't see. I just reminded him and he's cracking up again. He's an awesome and careful dad LOL.

 

That made me smile! Sort of thing fiance would do 🤣 also a very careful amazing dad

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We're having a better time today. My mum thinks she could be picking up on our families emotions. Mum herself was incredibly upset yesterday. I know our emotions as mother can greatly impact how baby feels.

Absolutely ,young children and babies and even adult children feel our stress and anxiety and our emotions. We are our child’s security so when we have very strong emotions they become concerned. And they can feel it even if we don’t express it. Even now if I’m upset my son becomes greatly more distressed then if I’m not. If I am even keel he tends to be more even keel.

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One if my cats when she's upset comes and tries to comfort any one of us. It's really sweet, he'll try and suckle on fiance or me. He's fab with baby.

I didn't think I was overly upset before she started to get upset, we'd had a lovely morning loads of smiles etc. But they're always lurking under the surface even if not the prominent emotion.

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Thought last night was going to be another huge battle, but no. Ok it took until midnight ish to get her to sleep and in her next to me cot, but she stayed down until 4.30 then had a5 moon feed and back in by 5am and asleep again until 7.20. Very happy mummy who feels rested today! It's going to be another hot day so might be a little unsettled due to heat, but I'm learning how to help her through.

I've been tempted to have a bath with her, but I just know she'll poop in bath and cause it's infant poop I can't just scoop it out 🤣🤣

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Thought last night was going to be another huge battle, but no. Ok it took until midnight ish to get her to sleep and in her next to me cot, but she stayed down until 4.30 then had a5 moon feed and back in by 5am and asleep again until 7.20. Very happy mummy who feels rested today! It's going to be another hot day so might be a little unsettled due to heat, but I'm learning how to help her through.

I've been tempted to have a bath with her, but I just know she'll poop in bath and cause it's infant poop I can't just scoop it out 🤣🤣

 

How about just a sponge bath?

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I mean for me as I need to relax my muscles my back and hips kill, and it's a lovely bonding. She enjoys her baths now, hated the first one, I think the water was too cold lol I have a thermometer now so baths are roughly 37c and she's so content in there.

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Well I'm glad I didn't choose toast for a joint bath.. all ends were going and got all over here when I was changing her, then she pooped in bath also 🤣 and she peed all over again during last nappy change. It's a good thing I have a tonne of vests for her 🤣 bless her..

 

Ugh our internet is awful, and today hasn't been working and fiance has a deadline today so he's had to go into office. Im so not ready for this, haven't even had time to mentally prepare 😭 I know it'll have to happen eventually, but not today. And I've got a call with mums doctors later, I hope our net is working then so he can be home incase I get too upset.

 

I could change it I suppose, but I really need to know what's going on even if it's only the bare bones.

 

I've fallen out with mum currently, she said some very cruel things on the office the other day, blaming me. I already blamed myself and pulled myself out of it so that ruined me. Ugh I feel awful and want fiance home.

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Honey, I know how much you love your mom but for your own sanity right now you need to cut toxic people out for a bit. These are grown people who really need to look after themselves. We can’t save the world love not even our own family members if they don’t want be saved. ❤️

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It will all be all right! i had to start solo parenting when he was 2 weeks old and my husband started traveling then too. No outside help.

 

It was just a shock, our internet went down and he's got so many deadlines. It isn't a looping ten back to the office. Little one cried her little heart out while I quickly microwaved my left over mash, couldn't get myself something more nutritionally balanced cause I can't leave her crying. Lots of things to think about for when he does actually go back to work. Doesn't help I only had 3 hours sleep.. I enjoyed our non boobing cuddles too much then she started stirring when I was finally ready to put her down again. Three cuddles were very worth it though.

 

 

Honey, I know how much you love your mom but for your own sanity right now you need to cut toxic people out for a bit. These are grown people who really need to look after themselves. We can’t save the world love not even our own family members if they don’t want be saved. ❤️

 

If she doesn't get better I won't be able to go back to work, as childcare will cost too much, plus the fact with the virus I don't feel comfortable sending her anyway. I know that's quite selfish. I want her to get better for her sake too.

My brother first understands half of the info he's given and can't share the info with me cause he doesn't understand it. He doesn't even know what section she's under.

Im supposed to be on phone with them right now but no sign of a call yet.

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It was just a shock, our internet went down and he's got so many deadlines. It isn't a looping ten back to the office. Little one cried her little heart out while I quickly microwaved my left over mash, couldn't get myself something more nutritionally balanced cause I can't leave her crying. Lots of things to think about for when he does actually go back to work. Doesn't help I only had 3 hours sleep.. I enjoyed our non boobing cuddles too much then she started stirring when I was finally ready to put her down again. Three cuddles were very worth it though.

 

 

 

 

If she doesn't get better I won't be able to go back to work, as childcare will cost too much, plus the fact with the virus I don't feel comfortable sending her anyway. I know that's quite selfish. I want her to get better for her sake too.

My brother first understands half of the info he's given and can't share the info with me cause he doesn't understand it. He doesn't even know what section she's under.

Im supposed to be on phone with them right now but no sign of a call yet.

Is there anyone in your local area that does child minding?

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