ButterflyWrists Posted May 2, 2020 Author Share Posted May 2, 2020 We co slept for a long while. It was easy for breastfeeding and family cohesion and our son feeling secure. I'm so anxious about co sleeping as my best friends son passed away at 5 weeks old, although it's long like there was more to it than co sleeping (death has been put down as sids) but I'm going to look into safe co sleeping. She slept in her next to me cot last night 💜 had 3 good long stints of sleep and we're both feeling much better today. Batya I'm glad you were able to feel positive about your feeding path, I know it can be a huge disappointment. 24/7 it really is, I think reality is hitting my fiance hard lol but he's taking it in hours stride :) Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 I'm so anxious about co sleeping as my best friends son passed away at 5 weeks old, although it's long like there was more to it than co sleeping (death has been put down as sids) but I'm going to look into safe co sleeping. She slept in her next to me cot last night 💜 had 3 good long stints of sleep and we're both feeling much better today. Batya I'm glad you were able to feel positive about your feeding path, I know it can be a huge disappointment. 24/7 it really is, I think reality is hitting my fiance hard lol but he's taking it in hours stride :) I had no "feeding path" lol - I had to be in survival mode after suffering a post-pregnancy stroke after not being able to produce enough milk - and I'm tired of all the pats on the back in general -not you at all - I know you mean really well -about "feel positive -fed is best!!" - Breastmilk is best -there is no question. Doesn't make me have to justify or "feel positive" because I had to for several reasons including medical, choose formula after 12 days. It was a disappointment as was the emergency C section. Parenting requires so much enduring of disappointment and true grit. And it's worth it 1000 times over. And I say this with an anxious tween in quarrantine. I know what you wrote was with the best of intentions and it permeates all the moms groups. Just gets tiring. I'm glad your fiance is coping. I'm surprised he is surprised. My husband was a little surprised. But once our son was two weeks old he traveled 2-3 days a week for the first 3 months and starting when he was 6 months old about 5 days a month or so. So I solo parented a lot. I don't think co-sleeping is safe with an infant especially. There's a lot of debate on that. It's a personal opinion and personal decision. OUr son didn't want to, anyway -he was in a mini crib in our room or right at the doorway entrance for the first 3 months then a full size crib in our room till 6 months then his own room with an audio monitor. Now the recommendation is room sharing for longer I think. I was paranoid about SIDS and one night he fell asleep in his car seat in our room and luckily I checked and realized it wasn't safe for him to sleep like that unsupervised. I would check with your doctor and authoritative sources on it. I wouldn't go to moms groups on it because it's such a hot button issue. Good luck! Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 2, 2020 Author Share Posted May 2, 2020 The breast feeding group I'm in advocate for co sleeping, but it just doesn't feel right for me. My fiance will stay awake so I can sleep with her feeding on my chest, if she's having a night where she won't be put down, and then we'll swap so he can sleep. He hasn't really had much experience with babies let alone newborns, he thought we'd be able to have a routine from the get go and still doesn't quite get that the sort if routine we'vegot is subject to charge lol... he didn't realise there would be days where I would be just food and unable to do much, need to try and work out my carrier, as in theory baby can be in it and still feed.. I need to move more!! Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 Everyone is different and has to make their own choice. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 Everyone is different and has to make their own choice. Yes I agree -that's what I wrote above. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 The breast feeding group I'm in advocate for co sleeping, but it just doesn't feel right for me. My fiance will stay awake so I can sleep with her feeding on my chest, if she's having a night where she won't be put down, and then we'll swap so he can sleep. He hasn't really had much experience with babies let alone newborns, he thought we'd be able to have a routine from the get go and still doesn't quite get that the sort if routine we'vegot is subject to charge lol... he didn't realise there would be days where I would be just food and unable to do much, need to try and work out my carrier, as in theory baby can be in it and still feed.. I need to move more!! Did you and he take parenting/baby care classes? Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 2, 2020 Author Share Posted May 2, 2020 Did you and he take parenting/baby care classes? They got cancelled due to the virus 😔 Link to comment
sophie274 Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 I took a lot of walks outside with my newborn in either the stroller or wrap - it was the one thing I prioritized every day. I would do it in the morning timed with the first nap of the day so no matter how rough the rest of the day was, I had gotten one good thing done. (And many days it was the only thing I got done outside of us staying alive lol). I recommend it if you feel up to it! Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 I took a lot of walks outside with my newborn in either the stroller or wrap - it was the one thing I prioritized every day. I would do it in the morning timed with the first nap of the day so no matter how rough the rest of the day was, I had gotten one good thing done. (And many days it was the only thing I got done outside of us staying alive lol). I recommend it if you feel up to it! Congrats !! It is so nice to see people who were so young when I arrived on this forum becoming parents. 🥰 Link to comment
sophie274 Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 Congrats !! It is so nice to see people who were so young when I arrived on this forum becoming parents. 🥰 Are you saying I’m not young anymore?! 🙂 Thank you! I hope you get some good rest today Butterfly. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 Are you saying I’m not young anymore?! 🙂 Thank you! I hope you get some good rest today Butterfly. Lol, yes still young. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 I took a lot of walks outside with my newborn in either the stroller or wrap - it was the one thing I prioritized every day. I would do it in the morning timed with the first nap of the day so no matter how rough the rest of the day was, I had gotten one good thing done. (And many days it was the only thing I got done outside of us staying alive lol). I recommend it if you feel up to it! I did that too and my doctor told me to do it. I totally agree. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 3, 2020 Author Share Posted May 3, 2020 We try to get a walk in each day, haven't managed it every day due to boobing all day or fiance having to go out (pram won't fit through door). But even if not we sit in garden if it isn't raining 💜 sunshine and fresh air does a world of good. Sera I've been here something like 14 years this year 🙈 I've changed so much in that time, grown up and learned a lot.. it's crazy. Had another night no sleep, little miss refused to be put down. I'm exhausted and I've got so much house work to do (fiance is doing the bulk, but he's back to work tomorrow so isn't entirely fair for him to have to do bulk and earn money). Please sleep little one so mummy can rest. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 We try to get a walk in each day, haven't managed it every day due to boobing all day or fiance having to go out (pram won't fit through door). But even if not we sit in garden if it isn't raining 💜 sunshine and fresh air does a world of good. Sera I've been here something like 14 years this year 🙈 I've changed so much in that time, grown up and learned a lot.. it's crazy. Had another night no sleep, little miss refused to be put down. I'm exhausted and I've got so much house work to do (fiance is doing the bulk, but he's back to work tomorrow so isn't entirely fair for him to have to do bulk and earn money). Please sleep little one so mummy can rest. How did the pram fit in the door? Can you fold it and hold baby till you're outside and can unfold? Maybe get one of those umbrella strollers? I'm sorry you're exhausted. Dirt is inert -so I'd skip whatever housework you can and focus on baby and getting rest as top priorities. Do you have a sling or baby carrier so you can baby wear while you do housework? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 I think we joined about the same time. 😀 Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 3, 2020 Author Share Posted May 3, 2020 How did the pram fit in the door? Can you fold it and hold baby till you're outside and can unfold? Maybe get one of those umbrella strollers? I'm sorry you're exhausted. Dirt is inert -so I'd skip whatever housework you can and focus on baby and getting rest as top priorities. Do you have a sling or baby carrier so you can baby wear while you do housework? I have to take the carry cot off then flatten the wheels, I still feel a little unsteady on my feet at times.. but getting better. Luckily forever doesn't mind doing the house work, I just feel dead guilty. I have a sling but so far no luck in getting it secure, she gets upset when I try putting her in and then I get anxious. Just ty gotta keep trying it though.. Sera yeah I think that's likely lol. Not many of us old timers left Haha Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 I have to take the carry cot off then flatten the wheels, I still feel a little unsteady on my feet at times.. but getting better. Luckily forever doesn't mind doing the house work, I just feel dead guilty. I have a sling but so far no luck in getting it secure, she gets upset when I try putting her in and then I get anxious. Just ty gotta keep trying it though.. Sera yeah I think that's likely lol. Not many of us old timers left Haha Don’t worry you are just early days yet. The rhythm of being parents will come. Be gentle and kind with yourself. ❤️ How is your mom doing ? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 I have to take the carry cot off then flatten the wheels, I still feel a little unsteady on my feet at times.. but getting better. Luckily forever doesn't mind doing the house work, I just feel dead guilty. I have a sling but so far no luck in getting it secure, she gets upset when I try putting her in and then I get anxious. Just ty gotta keep trying it though.. Sera yeah I think that's likely lol. Not many of us old timers left Haha Here's a story you will like. My friend L gave birth 4 months before me. She brought her 5 month old to my house when my son was less than a month. She said in a really nice way "do you want to put him in the stroller and go for a walk?" I stammered that I couldn't (I had the snap n go -the infant car seat that snaps onto the stroller/wheels part. I mean just the thought of getting him strapped in by myself (we couldn't let others handle him given the H1N1 flu outbreak and because he was so young) - and getting him all the way downstairs -overwhelming! She was really nice about it but had this quizzical look LOL. So, yes, I get it!! Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 3, 2020 Author Share Posted May 3, 2020 Don’t worry you are just early days yet. The rhythm of being parents will come. Be gentle and kind with yourself. ❤️ How is your mom doing ? We're getting there, I was able to shower and wash my hair today (haven't washed hair in just over 2 weeks cause my ears are playing up) so i feel a million times better. Stop very tired, fiance is making dinner while baby sleeps on me, going to try and put her down in a mo but I'm enjoying sleepy cuddles I haven't managed to get through to the hospital she's in which is frustrating so I'll try again tomorrow.. but her reaction to going to hospital was a lot better than the last time, so I am really hoping a couple of days where she can sleep will help massively.. Here's a story you will like. My friend L gave birth 4 months before me. She brought her 5 month old to my house when my son was less than a month. She said in a really nice way "do you want to put him in the stroller and go for a walk?" I stammered that I couldn't (I had the snap n go -the infant car seat that snaps onto the stroller/wheels part. I mean just the thought of getting him strapped in by myself (we couldn't let others handle him given the H1N1 flu outbreak and because he was so young) - and getting him all the way downstairs -overwhelming! She was really nice about it but had this quizzical look LOL. So, yes, I get it!! I'm so glad it isn't just me!! My fiance got the pram out a little while ago and one of our cats joined us on a walk. we're not the only weirdos in the village who have cats who join them for a walk 🤣💜 Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 5, 2020 Author Share Posted May 5, 2020 So since the end of my pregnancy I've lost over 2 stone!!! (Over 28lb) so chuffed, I'm lighter than I was pre pregnancy, super chuffed Link to comment
boltnrun Posted May 5, 2020 Share Posted May 5, 2020 Is "chuffed" good or bad? Obviously I am not British/Australian/Canadian/a New Zealander LOL. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 5, 2020 Share Posted May 5, 2020 Is "chuffed" good or bad? Obviously I am not British/Australian/Canadian/a New Zealander LOL. It is good ! Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 6, 2020 Author Share Posted May 6, 2020 Womb sounds helped a lot lay night! Much better sleeping in her cot yay Link to comment
Jibralta Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 My fiance got the pram out a little while ago and one of our cats joined us on a walk. we're not the only weirdos in the village who have cats who join them for a walk That is adorable :) Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 6, 2020 Author Share Posted May 6, 2020 Is "chuffed" good or bad? Obviously I am not British/Australian/Canadian/a New Zealander LOL. Yeah it means good lol!! Link to comment
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