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Gestational diabetes


ButterflyWrists
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Logic overriding emotions. Aint gonna happen but the emotions can go to the periphery with constant practice.

 

Swollen but ok post-tooth pulling. Covid protocols were good. Took a much shorter time than they said, also good. Milking the secondary benefits of pain of course lol. But also in awe of how different it is when mom is unwell vs. dad. So far today I've prepared two meals, cleaned a toilet, gathered up and started laundry, prepared snack bag/water bottles/masks for trip to surgeon (for husband and son) lol. And made sure my ice pack is icing. Not at all complaining just marveling at it and sure it's partly my fault it's a given. Partly genetics. And yes there were offers made in some vague "just show me what to do and I'll do it" but you know easier to do in my own. My husband for his part got me my meds. Took two trips. Cause he left his wallet home and my regular pharmacy for years wouldn't accept my credit card info over the phone!

 

Anasthesia was a little and brief vacation from all of this.

 

RIP Herman Cain. I just "knew" two days ago he wasn't going to make it -not because of an update on his condition. Just knew. Not a huge fan but didn't wish him ill in the least!

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Getting there slowly I think. Baby had an incredibly busy week and it isn't over yet. We stayed with my mum a couple days and saw a few close family friends, lots of driving. Then a couple of fiance siblings came over.. tomorrow we have more friends coming over.. every day this week she's had new faves, so she's fairly unsettled.. but she's doing ok and tells me when it gets too much, so we sing and rest in our bedroom.. I have to let her shout her frustrations out which can upset me.. she wants to comfort suckle, but caused an over supply of milk so she gets upset.. so we have to ride it out until milk supply regulates again.

I have a mental health assessment next week, so hopefully I can finally get treatment for PTSD and my general depression pnd..

 

Batya, I'm so lucky fiance will do vast majority of chores and baby care when I'm ill, last night he did all the washing up after bbq so i could just have a day to rest with baby. Only chore he won't do is stuffing nappies probably because I've not shown him what to do lol. I hope you're feeling better soon 🙂

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I'm finding it so difficult knowing baby will never meet her great grandma, she was so desperate to meet baby. She was one of the first people I told, I was barely 6 weeks.. she said she regretted not holding a neighbour's baby when he was still a baby..

Having my daughter, I'm remembering how close to my grandparents i was and i hope she is the same. It makes me sad that I've had to cut out my father's side completely. Haven't seen them in over 15 years, not for lack of trying on my part, well until 9 years ago.

 

Baby did well seeing her God mother today much better mood. I'm hoping she sleeps well tonight, she slept from 6.30 for 2 hours and then back down swind 9.30

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Questioning if I made a mistake becoming a mum.. but I think it's circumstance more than actually being rubbish. At least I hope so. I love my daughter more thananything and I'd do anything possible for her.

She's going through a rather trying developmental leap and it's due to last another 30 or so days. Today's naps haven't even lasted an hour. She's screaming no matter what I do right now. Stressed. Fiance won't be home for a little while yet and I'm just totally overwhelmed right now.

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Questioning if I made a mistake becoming a mum.. but I think it's circumstance more than actually being rubbish. At least I hope so. I love my daughter more thananything and I'd do anything possible for her.

She's going through a rather trying developmental leap and it's due to last another 30 or so days. Today's naps haven't even lasted an hour. She's screaming no matter what I do right now. Stressed. Fiance won't be home for a little while yet and I'm just totally overwhelmed right now.

 

There will be days like this!! Just remember she didn't read the part about 30 days -and if at all possible embrace the unpredictable. I didn't know what "developmental leap" meant when he was an infant and sometimes ignorance is bliss. Hope things improve when your fiancee comes home.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've no idea how I'm feeling anymore. Just trying to make it through the days. Dreading today as it's vaccinations, which means baby must be 17 weeks nearly, from 13 weeks we swapped to months.. it goes so fast!! Her growth in height tapered off although she's going through another growth spurt and I think she'll pretty much bypass 6-9 months clothing in a similar fashion her 0-3.. she's so lovely and chatty, loves row row row your boat, hokey cokey and any songs which require lots of interaction, she sings along with me when I sing a calming sing too (ok babbles). I can't believe she's almost 4 months old! It's absolutely crazy, in a few days it'll be a year since we found out her existence!!! It's been a whirlwind and I wouldn't change it for the world.

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I think we joined around the same time . My son was 8 soon to be 9 when I joined. CRAZY!

 

I was an immature young girl when I joined, I thought I knew it all. Never thought I'd be here today.

I keep trying to focus on good things, but this depression isn't ending. I'm so upset atm. I don't want my depression to affect baby, but I just can't seem to pull out of it and the more I try to fight it, cause it does affect baby's development, the worse it seems to get. Fiance is in office and he's so stupidly busy.. just ne and baby right now.

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Realistically, I'm an atheist. Although I like to think there's something more out there.

But I'm so sure my grandma pulled some tricks for me to have baby when I did. 0 symptoms whatsoever went to hospital for reduced movements, turns out i had pre eclampsia. Grandma had said, 12 hours before she was born that baby u's in her pram. Now obviously we didn't find out until she was born that she's a girl.. grandma knew! Grandma never wanted her death to be a dad day.. ugh this hurts so much, I miss her! I wish I could've introduced them, but I'm also extremely sure they've met, just not in the way we expect..I need help processing everything that's happened.

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Is there anyway you can get in touch with a councellor? Even put your name in?

 

Yes, I agree -I had a hard time following what your point was about your grandmother but that plus your regular coping challenges have me agreeing with Seraphim.

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As its post natal they do things much quicker than adult mental health services.. UK is generally very slow otherwise

 

Getting appoints here is slow too. I remember when I lost Liam and I asked for a counselling appointment because I said I was about ready to jump off my roof and they told me if I felt that way go to the hospital or otherwise it was eight weeks. 🤦♀️

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Well it isn't how I expected it to be. Essentially left to my own devices with a baby as a first time mum. Signed off from the midwives after 2 weeks, did be under a health visitor, but covid has shut that down. Saw the doctor for babies 6 week check 2 weeks late, which should be a health visitors job. No other communication, attitude from vaccinations, which are all done now until she's a year.

 

It's been tough, yes i have experience with young children and babies, but living with one my very own baby, and no sort has been tough, we're learning as we go. No parental support as it is apparently a bigger spreader of covid than pubs. Ok my mum's been poorly too, but she's on the mend. Pnd is apparently rife atm, and I'm being diagnosed with it too. Pubs can open, but baby groups couldn't, soft play can open but still no word on baby groups. I have no mum friends really in my area. I have very few friends in my area tbf, got pregnant 4 months after moving up here. It's been tough. It's really hard, and I'm having to accept this experience as my normal. I didn't expect things to go this way. I'm scared how deep into depression I'll go this time. I'm upset for my fiance, he's been trying so hard to keep up with looking after us, and work. He's having to pull 60+hour weeks cause he's got that much work on. We did have a chat and I opened up to him how I'm feeling. By the weekend I'm so burnt out I sink, I finally have someone to help with baby, I can rest I doubt have to keep my mood up to keep baby happy, but that means his weekends aren't as fun and relaxing, he's worried about me and he has no breaks.

He can't do less at work atm, he's boobed a long weekend, butty he's still got the same amount of work to do, this week he's got 4 half completed projects overdue, 3 new projects due this week and whatever isn't completed will just be added on to next week. I feel selfish for being depressed, and then I feel worse for it. It's a catch 22

 

I was going to make a thread aio any other new mums could share their experiences, butty I'm not aware of any other new mums on here atm.

 

Butty=but

Boobed=booked

Sorry for spelling and grammar errors, on phone and rubbish at proof reading

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I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed. I don't think there's much that's routine or predictable with parenting an infant. So if you can possibly get out of your head of what it "should" have been like and accept the unpredictability, the chaos -I found that that helped a lot. We had no family help, I solo parented constantly, husband worked more than 60 hours a week and/or traveled most of the time and I relocated from my home city of 43 years when he was 5 months old. But I didn't have the expectations you did. I had lots of experience with babies and children too and never once expected that to make it easier in any relevant way because a baby of your own can have all sorts of special needs (heaven forbid but still) so you can't know. I knew more than my husband about certain things but what I knew was I wasn't going to get much sleep, I wouldn't be able to have hot coffee on any regular basis and I would have no family help.

 

Try to get out daily even for a short walk with the baby -it helps -and please seek out a counselor too. I'm sorry your fiance is struggling too! And I'm delighted your baby is so healthy!!!

 

Hope today is much better. I started a thread many years ago about sleep issues for new moms - meaning my sleep issues not the baby!

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I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed. I don't think there's much that's routine or predictable with parenting an infant. So if you can possibly get out of your head of what it "should" have been like and accept the unpredictability, the chaos -I found that that helped a lot. We had no family help, I solo parented constantly, husband worked more than 60 hours a week and/or traveled most of the time and I relocated from my home city of 43 years when he was 5 months old. But I didn't have the expectations you did. I had lots of experience with babies and children too and never once expected that to make it easier in any relevant way because a baby of your own can have all sorts of special needs (heaven forbid but still) so you can't know. I knew more than my husband about certain things but what I knew was I wasn't going to get much sleep, I wouldn't be able to have hot coffee on any regular basis and I would have no family help.

 

Try to get out daily even for a short walk with the baby -it helps -and please seek out a counselor too. I'm sorry your fiance is struggling too! And I'm delighted your baby is so healthy!!!

 

Hope today is much better. I started a thread many years ago about sleep issues for new moms - meaning my sleep issues not the baby!

 

I'm not too worried about my pack of sleep, she sleeps relatively well for a young baby hitting the 4 month regression. It's just everything, it shouldn't be THIS isolated, there should be visits from health visitor, clinics for weighing baby, we're having to work out things alone, and our own mental health etc.. some mums whoes babies have tongue tie aren't able to get it cut, so giving up breastfeeding due to failure to thrive etc. The contact for new mums is appalling

 

We do try to get a walk in daily, it's been too hot recently (35c) and then she's wanting to get ready for bed for 8pm.. but we do what we can when we can.. she is accepting her wrap carrier now so I'm hoping I can start doing more, but my back hurts after a 10 min or so..

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As you know I’m a pretty new mom too (baby 9 months old).

 

I suppose I’m in the opposite situation as I’m the one working 60 hours plus (mostly outside the home but have a lot of evening and weekend work too), been back at work/school since baby was 6 weeks and her father is at home with her. It’s certainly all felt a bit joyless for the last several months - very restricted as to where we can go, no visits from friends, and since my husband lost his job due to COVID, no money to do much of anything fun. Here we have checkups at 1 month, 2 months, then 4,6,9,12. I feel lucky to be going to work in person. I was at home from early March to early July and it was tough. I love interacting with others (professionally) - aside from work I have only been to the grocery store once in the last 2 months, no other trips outside the house. I get up early (4 or 5 am) to pump, get ready for work, if I can then I feed baby before I go, go to work where I pump three times, come back, dinner, bathe baby, play, bedtime, clean up, and it’s time for bed. Same routine 6 days a week and on the seventh I have to study most of the day. Neither my husband nor I have had a relaxing weekend in months. Here it is literally 45 C every day this time of year so we’re quite housebound. So yes it’s hard and terribly monotonous.

 

Don’t spend any energy worrying about other mothers and if they can get to see lactation consultants of are feeding their babies at 4 months. I see you are compassionate and worrying about how this is affecting their health, but don’t take on other people’s struggles when you already have your own. If there’s anything that can bring you joy or comfort then try to do it. Walks with baby, FaceTime with family and friends. Sitting outside 6 feet apart (can be with masks on to be extra super safe) with family and friends (it’s more than safe). Ordering takeout to give yourself a break. Movie night with your fiancé at home. Forums to chat with other moms (they can be anxiety producing though). I don’t know what you were picturing things to be like at this time - it sounds like going to mom groups, going to soft play, seeing your mother and probably other things, but whatever you can do to give yourself a sliver of that experience, do it.

 

As far as postpartum depression, I have found sleep to have a disproportionate effect on my mood. Aside from trying to get as much sleep as possible, I’d encourage you to make use of all the resources you have access to to nip it in the bud. Six weeks waiting sounds insane to me so if you have the financial resources to pay for something sooner, I would. My baby’s pediatrician was worried about me being depressed but I personally felt like I was “just” exhausted and overwhelmed, and I did get better with more sleep and figuring out how to fit in work/school and baby.

 

For me, I’m waiting out this hot summer. Once it’s October and the weather is nice, I’m going to go hiking with my baby on the weekends. We’re going to play outside. I’ll get her a wagon and we’ll ride around the neighborhood. I’ll probably sit outside at restaurant terraces occasionally. I’ll have friends come over for drinks outside on my terrace after dark/baby’s bedtime and we’ll all sit far apart. Thinking about those things - which feel positively luxurious to me at this point - is getting me through now.

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