ThrowRA Posted January 27, 2020 Share Posted January 27, 2020 I (21M) am visiting one of my best friends (21F) who is studying abroad in a few months after recently breaking up with my long term girlfriend. I feel like my dynamic with my friend has shifted and not sure how the trip will go. Earlier this year, I ended a multi-year relationship due to the realization that my ex and I would be ending up on different coasts after graduating college. While the breakup was hard, I couldn’t have imagined it happening any more amicably. Fast forward a few months — I decided to book a trip during a school break to visit one of my closest female friends from before college who is abroad in Europe (let’s call her Chloe). Chloe and I have what I can only describe as a *platonic* relationship for the last seven years — being there for each other throughout our respective relationship(s), school struggles, and successes/failures. I should mention that I have always prided myself on having a number of close, platonic female friendships — partly due to being in such a longterm relationship and also because I have always valued having close male and female friends. Beyond occasional jokes from friends about how close Chloe and I were, I had never pictured us as romantically compatible. We’ve stayed with each other at our respective schools, hung out 1 on 1 at home frequently, and chat every couple days without issue. While I can recognize she is traditionally attractive, I never saw our friendship moving further than really tight friends. However, I’ve noticed a slight shift in the way we interact over the past couple months and increasingly since my breakup. When Chloe and I were last home together, it felt as if she was…more in my physical presence. Hugs hello/goodbye felt a bit longer than usual and our conversations have since touched on more “mature” subjects, albeit purely from an advice/sharing perspective. As I booked and now prepare to visit Chloe in Europe in a few weeks, I find myself worrying about how the trip will go. I’m confused around if there has been an *actual* change in our dynamic or if it is in my head, especially following an emotionally charged break up. Chloe has put together a fantastic itinerary for the trip and I am incredibly excited to see her -- there is no logical reason why I should be worried. I am more having trouble picturing how it will *feel* being together for a week with this shift in dynamic. I should mention I am staying with her for the trip, which has happened during visits to each other’s colleges without issue in the past. If this is all in my head, then I don’t want to ruin the trip by acting differently than usual. If there is a more romantic dynamic shifting, then I am worried about messing up our existing close friendship. Any advice from those that have had similar experiences with platonic friends is appreciated! Link to comment
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