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Finally found a guy I'm interested in...


SnugglePuggle

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Agree, not a good place. Go through real life activities both faith-based and secular. You need to get out more if you hope to find a quality man. You can't just use the most expedient approach. Why? That's where the losers are who can't afford quality dating sites or real life activities.

I met him on an app actually.
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They say that the paying dating sites are actually better. Why? Because the game players and ones who aren't serious about finding a long term partner won't ever bother paying.

 

The ones who want something serious, are far more willing to pay.

 

That's true, but after looking I just saw that the one month plan is $50 a month and the 6 month plan is half that, but you have to pay the full amount upfront. Lord, that's expensive.

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If you don't change your attitudes one of the following will happen:

 

1) You'll stay a virgin and alone forever

 

2) Some lazy conman will tell whatever you want to hear, take your "purity" and pretend he doesn't know you the next morning and you'll get to live with that

 

3) You'll end supporting some lazy slob...or rather your parent will until they get fed up enough to kick you both out of their house.... and eventually you'll end up broke, divorced and having to support not only a couple of kids but pay alimony to your useless ex

 

OP, get real. That means get off your arse, go to your church, start socializing, go to church singles events, make friends, get a job and stop using the introvert excuse for being essentially lazy. If your parents threw you out and you had just 30 days to get your act together, you'd start thinking and get that job instead of maybe sending out a resume here and there. Note that I'm not suggesting that you give up your beliefs, I'm suggesting that you become a productive member of society and start living your life instead of waiting for the internet to deliver you some loser who know how tell you some bs that you want to hear. He makes a lot of money driving for Uber....I seriously had to laugh. If you are that naive, I have some ocean front property in Arizona to sell you for $50.00.

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If you don't change your attitudes one of the following will happen:

 

1) You'll stay a virgin and alone forever

 

2) Some lazy conman will tell whatever you want to hear, take your "purity" and pretend he doesn't know you the next morning and you'll get to live with that

 

3) You'll end supporting some lazy slob...or rather your parent will until they get fed up enough to kick you both out of their house.... and eventually you'll end up broke, divorced and having to support not only a couple of kids but pay alimony to your useless ex

 

OP, get real. That means get off your arse, go to your church, start socializing, go to church singles events, make friends, get a job and stop using the introvert excuse for being essentially lazy. If your parents threw you out and you had just 30 days to get your act together, you'd start thinking and get that job instead of maybe sending out a resume here and there. Note that I'm not suggesting that you give up your beliefs, I'm suggesting that you become a productive member of society and start living your life instead of waiting for the internet to deliver you some loser who know how tell you some bs that you want to hear. He makes a lot of money driving for Uber....I seriously had to laugh. If you are that naive, I have some ocean front property in Arizona to sell you for $50.00.

 

Wow. How rude. Those will never happen as I have standards.

 

I do have a full time job, mind you. It's just not in my field and the rent in the area is too high for me to live on my own. Geez.

 

And I'm sending resumes out everyday.

 

I'm not naive, as the guy does make a lot. If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.

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Have you met him in person?

 

If not, why do you imagine he'll be crushed if you explain you won't be dating him? Does he not have a life or friends offline? Are you his lifeline and only source of human interaction?

 

I haven't met him, and yes he has a life other than me and friends. I just feel that he will be saddened especially with how he's been feeling so down lately so I'm adding more sorrow on top of that.

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I mean, you're someone whose pic/image he's only seen over an electronic device. I can't imagine if he does have friends and an active social life that he'll be feeling "sorrow". That's a pretty strong word.

 

Disappointed he won't have an online chat buddy? Maybe. But "sorrow"? Unlikely. He'll be fine.

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You are living as a hermit. This is not attractive for any man that have something to offer. If some guy told me he did;t make an effort to have any friends and stayed inside all the time, I would run.

 

You need to get out and develop some sort of life. You need to have interests and something to bring to the table.

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If you don't change your attitudes one of the following will happen:

 

1) You'll stay a virgin and alone forever

 

2) Some lazy conman will tell whatever you want to hear, take your "purity" and pretend he doesn't know you the next morning and you'll get to live with that

 

3) You'll end supporting some lazy slob...or rather your parent will until they get fed up enough to kick you both out of their house.... and eventually you'll end up broke, divorced and having to support not only a couple of kids but pay alimony to your useless ex

 

OP, get real. That means get off your arse, go to your church, start socializing, go to church singles events, make friends, get a job and stop using the introvert excuse for being essentially lazy. If your parents threw you out and you had just 30 days to get your act together, you'd start thinking and get that job instead of maybe sending out a resume here and there. Note that I'm not suggesting that you give up your beliefs, I'm suggesting that you become a productive member of society and start living your life instead of waiting for the internet to deliver you some loser who know how tell you some bs that you want to hear. He makes a lot of money driving for Uber....I seriously had to laugh. If you are that naive, I have some ocean front property in Arizona to sell you for $50.00.

 

This may be tough to hear, but she is absolutely right!If you keep this up, you will be alone, or end up with a big loser.

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He's been celibate for over two years now, and wants to wait for marriage. He was raped of his virginity, and didn't deal with it well and went on hookups. He regrets it mainly, and feels he will have to beg his future wife for forgiveness, that's how much he regrets what he's done.

 

.

 

So you believe this? I dont, sounds like he's trying to make you think better of him with this story. Since he's confessed to his 30 women and you dont like that he's had 30 women, I'd say you two are not compatible. Dont try to convince yourself that this is all okay when really it's not.

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If you're going to have a crying session over a man you've never physically met, you're not emotionally ready to date. And taking it slow doesn't mean talking for a month or longer without meeting. Why? I did a lot of online dating for 2 and a half years. With each guy, I liked their photos, e-mails, texts, phone calls, and looked forward to meeting them. Nine out of ten times, upon meeting, either I didn't feel chemistry, or he didn't, and no further dates happened. There were a few who it went on for two or three dates, but on one occasion, on a second date, I saw that the guy had a screw loose. For a few others, their personalities sucked. For a few more, they lied about their dating goal. One lied about his height. Another had posted much younger photos of himself.

 

If a guy refused to meet within a few weeks, I stopped communicating with him because yes, I know how you have to keep cutting the losers loose quickly to find the treasure, which I finally did.

 

It's okay to have the ultimate goal of marriage and kids, but that shouldn't be discussed until you make it to about the fourth or sixth date, after chemistry is established, and dating regularly seems to be in the cards. At that point I'd say: Just so you know, I date with the goal of marrying one day and having kids. I know it takes a few years to know if someone is going to be your longterm partner. I'm telling you this because I don't want to waste time dating someone who never wants children, and doesn't foresee marriage in his future.

 

Before that, your goal should just be to enjoy someone's company. Keep topics light, or you will scare away a lot of men discussing major topics like marriage. You shouldn't even be projecting into the future when on dates. You don't even barely scratch the surface of who the person is until after the honeymoon period of 4 to 6 months is over.

 

I had a friend who was desperate and in a hurry like you, but for a different reason. Her biological clock was ticking. She was 38, without a man, and finally decided once and for all she wanted a child. She chased away many prospects, dragging one to a doctor to see if his vasectomy could be reversed, after he'd just left a marriage and she'd only dated him a few months. He ran fast and far. I told her she couldn't put the cart before the horse, and it would take a few years of being with a man to find out if he'd be a good partner and father. She screamed, "I don't have time!"

 

She corralled a far younger, dumb man, and got pregnant with his child and married him. Did she get her child? Yes. Did the marriage last even two years? No. And who is the product of a broken family? The poor child who has abandonment issues because her father only sees her about twice a year.

 

At 25, your brain has just matured in the decision making area. It's good you didn't enter into marriage before this time, as 75 percent of marriages that take place before that age end in divorce. Stop your race for marriage and start enjoying dating with a day by day, wait and see attitude. Relax. When you rush into something before you've given yourself time to really know a person over a two year period, your marriage will have a stronger foundation. And if you have to cut someone lose because they are not right for you. They will survive. You're not the only woman in the world and give the person credit for dealing with disappointment just fine.

 

And being the sole center of your universe will be smothering to a guy, so even if you're an introvert, push yourself to make new friends and get a hobby. Challenging yourself is scary but always better than living in a safe bubble, which isn't really as safe as you might think. Because if that one person walks away, you're totally alone without a support system. Good luck.

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It may be in your best interest to get to a doctor for a complete evaluation and a therapist as well as a church counselor. You seem to have an inertia and depressive and self defeating mindset. You seem very against helping yourself in any practical way and seem to live in Disneyland. Magical thinking and being paralyzed by daydreams could indicate issues that often arise and go undetected in young adulthood.

 

Thumbing through some cheapo free apps and communicating with weirdos is a far cry from finding a decent steadily employed Godly man. Remember they are on low class free apps because they can't afford better or are just too lazy/cheap to bother. This is why you are finding the kind of rubbish men you are talking to. Get out of the house and get involved in your church.

I haven't met him, and yes he has a life other than me and friends. I just feel that he will be saddened especially with how he's been feeling so down lately so I'm adding more sorrow on top of that.
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Also to add in. If he was indeed raped...yes, that is extremely sad. But once he was old enough to become sexual with a woman of his own choosing..that's when HE had responsibility over what he did with his own body.

 

If he was not healed, then he could have chosen to go to counselling, get proper help.

 

But he did not choose to do that. He chose to jump on 30 different women and have a good time. Despite what he might tell you, he did in fact chose that instead of going down a better path of healing.

 

You need to stop justifying him and treating him as a poor baby when he is a grown man who made his own decisions and willingly got naked with heaps of women. Make no mistake about it, he had a good time.

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You are living as a hermit. This is not attractive for any man that have something to offer. If some guy told me he did;t make an effort to have any friends and stayed inside all the time, I would run.

 

You need to get out and develop some sort of life. You need to have interests and something to bring to the table.

 

I do have friends and interests. Never said I didn't have any. Good Lord.

 

I like horseback riding, fishing, shopping. I just can't do much physical activity right now. Most of my friends are out of the area so I can't do much with that. I'm working up to trying to go out more but it's not in my nature, okay? Stop harassing me about all that you guys. Not cool.

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