wanderer93 Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 Here's the story.. My boyfriend (26M) and I (25F) have been together for 4 years. We clicked right away and have a very caring and loving relationship. He has a lot of savings and had plans to travel for at least a year before we even made it official. I couldn't travel with him at first as I was finishing my degree, then I started a job but expressed that if he still wants to travel perhaps I could join him for some of it or all of the trip. But we never really made concrete plans and we got distracted by our jobs and relationship so he put his travel plans on hold. Recently his close friend came back from a year of travelling SE Asia, NZ and Australia and the dream of travelling started coming up in conversations more often. As my boyfriend is in a situation where he has resigned his job and his flatmate wants to leave their flat and travel, he ultimately decided that there is no better time to finally do it than now. I completely understand and support him in following his dreams, I wouldn't want him to resent me one day for standing in the way. He hadn't booked any flights or had any concrete plans when we discussed the possibility of it happening and he expressed that he thinks it's best if broke up when he leaves as he wouldn't like to put an end date on his travels. It sounded like he thought this decision through and although I was upset that I had no say in it, I could agree with it to an extent. I want him to follow his dreams and I want him to be happy, but ultimately I was hurt because I am losing someone very close and important to me even though none of us had done anything wrong and love each other. For the first few days I was in denial, I spoke to him and tried to change his mind about maybe trying LDR or if I could meet him somewhere along the way. He had the reasons to not want to do this and I actually agree with them but it's a hard to swallow pill. We don't live together but spend 4 days a week in each others houses, we love each others presence at all friends and family events, we get weird sometimes when we're away from each other for too long... And so naturally we both know that a LDR would not be ideal. He said it's easier to break up now than from miles away and he didn't want to call it a break because he didn't want to commit to a promise as he couldn't promise me how we would both feel in a year. It hurts being left with no choice but to let go and although I know he would miss me at first, I have no doubt he would move on faster as he would be in new exotic places with new interesting people. I am not really looking for relationship advice as I know it's not a situation where I could do anything without it resulting in resentment so I am just slowly letting go of things ensuring that he knows how grateful I am for the time we spent together. However, I am interested to hear if anyone has been in a similar situation and how did it pan out in the end for both of you? Where are you both years later? How did you move on if you did? Link to comment
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