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I just don't give a anymore


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Man I've literally lived my whole in life for other people. I've been a good man, even through some really ty in circumstances. I've always strived to be positive, I've always been everyone's strength. Idk if I ever really understood this world. How it works? How normal people are to be. I've just lived for others, I probably fed off their happiness. There was not one passion for a career that I ever found. There's not one drive that could ever ground me. I've been completely numb, just taking care of everyone who I thought was struggling like me. Then to find out that it's just me. I'm the one with the in struggles. I'm the one who needs. I've hated putting even the smallest in problems that I had one anyone . I never would want to inconvenience anyone one my behalf. Too much pride? Maybe.. But it. What's life without love? And HOW THE DOES LOVE WORK?? How can you just meet people and build feelings for them? I never had the pressure of having to turn someone away.. Maybe it's easy to do so when you feel ing nothing for them.. I love my family but they're so ing far away from where I am in life. I'm so left behind because I never got on with them. If I told my story, I'd just be laughed at. And or judged. I don't give a about pride. I just can't explain how real everything was to me. Regardless of the circumstances.. I've never been more lost. There's no ground to hold me down. Maybe I should try for an honorable death. Somewhere over seas, with a cause. But maybe I'm too ed up to have others rely on me for THEIR safety. I'm never logging on to this ing thing again. Maybe if people were ing nicer to each other on here this would work.. I got one last thing to look forward to. Hopefully I get to see my niners win one super bowl before I say deuce v. Thanks everyone for your time. I'm out of this !!

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The internet is probably not a good place for you, it's just another escape like strip clubs. You could make an appt with a doctor for an evaluation.

I'm never logging on to this ing thing again. Hopefully I get to see my niners win one super bowl
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Man I've literally lived my whole in life for other people. I've been a good man, even through some really ty in circumstances. I've always strived to be positive, I've always been everyone's strength. Idk if I ever really understood this world. How it works? How normal people are to be. I've just lived for others, I probably fed off their happiness. There was not one passion for a career that I ever found. There's not one drive that could ever ground me. I've been completely numb, just taking care of everyone who I thought was struggling like me. Then to find out that it's just me. I'm the one with the in struggles. I'm the one who needs. I've hated putting even the smallest in problems that I had one anyone . I never would want to inconvenience anyone one my behalf. Too much pride? Maybe.. But it. What's life without love? And HOW THE DOES LOVE WORK?? How can you just meet people and build feelings for them? I never had the pressure of having to turn someone away.. Maybe it's easy to do so when you feel ing nothing for them.. I love my family but they're so ing far away from where I am in life. I'm so left behind because I never got on with them. If I told my story, I'd just be laughed at. And or judged. I don't give a about pride. I just can't explain how real everything was to me. Regardless of the circumstances.. I've never been more lost. There's no ground to hold me down. Maybe I should try for an honorable death. Somewhere over seas, with a cause. But maybe I'm too ed up to have others rely on me for THEIR safety. I'm never logging on to this ing thing again. Maybe if people were ing nicer to each other on here this would work.. I got one last thing to look forward to. Hopefully I get to see my niners win one super bowl before I say deuce v. Thanks everyone for your time. I'm out of this !!

 

What about your ex-wife that you were with for five years? You said you are still good friends? In your previous posts you said family we're supportive and you have friends? So that means you're not completely alone? What do you think has sparked off you feeling suicidal? Do you have mental illness?

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