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Living with ex that doesn’t want me


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Oh Kay! So my boyfriend and I ya been together for almost A year. We have been living together pretty much the same amount of time . We took a break a wile back. That lasted couple of weeks. We got back together “ so I thought we did”. Until I found out that he has been referring to me as the “not really girlfriend “. So I excepted the fact that I was just being made a fool of and i removed all of my belongings out of the house cleaned it and now I’m staying in the sun room till I save enough to get a place. My question is how the no contact rule work in th Ian situation

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Oh Kay! So I excepted the fact that I was just being made a fool of and i removed all of my belongings out of the house cleaned it and now I’m staying in the sun room till I save enough to get a place. My question is how the no contact rule work in th Ian situation

 

I’m sorry. But is this his house? You say you removed all of your belongings out of the house yet you remain in the house??

Why?

And why did you move in with him in the first place?

To help him pay his rent / mortgage???

 

Where did you move from? Your parents? Move back!!

 

For you to ask how no contact works in this situation, just highlights immaturity.

Communication should be high at this point ! You need to discuss this with him. He wants you out, has he given you notice that’s fair within a normal tenancy agreement. 4 weeks?

 

You need to move out!

It’s not his responsibility where you move to or how. It’s yours.

So, apart from simply figuring out petty no contact. What is your plan to move?

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i removed all of my belongings out of the house cleaned it and now I’m staying in the sun room till I save enough to get a place. My question is how the no contact rule work in th Ian situation

 

It is near impossible as a practical matter to do NC under the same roof.

 

Move out.

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Where did you live before? Where you homeless? Do you have friends or family who could help you out? Are you working? Going to school? No contact? What for? He thinks of you as a roommate with benefits. You need to move out.

my boyfriend and I been together for almost A year. been living together pretty much the same amount of time. now I’m staying in the sun room till I save enough to get a place.
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I’m sorry. But is this his house? You say you removed all of your belongings out of the house yet you remain in the house??

Why?

And why did you move in with him in the first place?

To help him pay his rent / mortgage???

 

Where did you move from? Your parents? Move back!!

 

For you to ask how no contact works in this situation, just highlights immaturity.

Communication should be high at this point ! You need to discuss this with him. He wants you out, has he given you notice that’s fair within a normal tenancy agreement. 4 weeks?

 

You need to move out!

It’s not his responsibility where you move to or how. It’s yours.

So, apart from simply figuring out petty no contact. What is your plan to move?

 

I was not homeless and I was asked to move in by him. As far as Communication he refuses to communicate he shuts down and ignores and mimics me when I talk so I totally agree with you when you say reeks of immaturity however the reason why I have not left yet is because I feel that I should not have to go backwards in my life because I put myself out there to be in a relationship. I am going to move out I just need to save money up first. I also am waiting to hear back from my brother to see if I can rent a room from him. I didn’t think the no contact rule would work in a situation like this I did have a read something in an article online about how to use the no contact rule while living together and it said basically treat it like a business relationship so it’s what I’m doing acting professional and treating it as if it’s a business relationship

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Where did you live before? Where you homeless? Do you have friends or family who could help you out? Are you working? Going to school? No contact? What for? He thinks of you as a roommate with benefits. You need to move out.

 

Thank you For your reply and for putting it in perspective . your absolute correct to him I am just a roommate with benefits

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I was not homeless and I was asked to move in by him. As far as Communication he refuses to communicate he shuts down and ignores and mimics me when I talk so I totally agree with you when you say reeks of immaturity however the reason why I have not left yet is because I feel that I should not have to go backwards in my life because I put myself out there to be in a relationship. I am going to move out I just need to save money up first. I also am waiting to hear back from my brother to see if I can rent a room from him. I didn’t think the no contact rule would work in a situation like this I did have a read something in an article online about how to use the no contact rule while living together and it said basically treat it like a business relationship so it’s what I’m doing acting professional and treating it as if it’s a business relationship

 

Sorry but this is a time when you move out even if you need a loan -if you don't the long term effects on you emotionally and in other relationships will make you wonder why you waited. Staying is going backwards in your life. You can't have a business relationship where you live with an ex.

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I was not homeless and I was asked to move in by him. As far as Communication he refuses to communicate he shuts down and ignores and mimics me when I talk so I totally agree with you when you say reeks of immaturity however the reason why I have not left yet is because I feel that I should not have to go backwards in my life because I put myself out there to be in a relationship. I am going to move out I just need to save money up first. I also am waiting to hear back from my brother to see if I can rent a room from him. I didn’t think the no contact rule would work in a situation like this I did have a read something in an article online about how to use the no contact rule while living together and it said basically treat it like a business relationship so it’s what I’m doing acting professional and treating it as if it’s a business relationship

 

No he has not once said he wanted me to leave and he has not once said for me to move out I have asked him straight forward how much she would want me to pay just to rent the room as I leave I have gotten no clear-cut answers from him

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No he has not once said he wanted me to leave and he has not once said for me to move out I have asked him straight forward how much she would want me to pay just to rent the room as I leave I have gotten no clear-cut answers from him

 

If you want to heal and move on and have a normal life including the potential for meeting other people then move out ASAP.

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I was asked to move in by him. As far as Communication he refuses to communicate he shuts down and ignores and mimics me when I talk .... the reason why I have not left yet is because I feel that I should not have to go backwards in my life because I put myself out there to be in a relationship. I am going to move out I just need to save money up first........ acting professional and treating it as if it’s a business relationship

 

He asked you to move in , fine. And he is entitled to ask you to move out , he is even entitled to change the locks and not let you in if you won’t move out willingly. It seems you are aware he doesn’t want you there.

 

You moved in willingly after only dating a short time and not really knowing him. That was all YOUR risk and his gain.

You now feel you should not have to go backwards because you put yourself out there “to be in a relationship “ Sorry but if you were to invest in a relationship, you wouldn’t move in with someone within the first year of dating nevermind a few weeks or months. That was not commitment , but mere convenience. Only.

 

To move back to where you lived prior is not a step backwards , it’s a step forward.

 

Unfortunately for you when you moved in with him , that was you taking a giant step backward.

 

If you need to save to move out , that just suggests you couldn’t afford to move in , in the first place.

 

So go back to where you were a year ago and in future only move in with someone well after a year of dating.

 

Good luck!

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