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What did you learn from your first real relationship?


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My first real relationship was with my husband and we have never broken up. I’ve learned about love, patience,respect, compromise, compassion and dedication, loyalty, family, independence ..... just a few of the things. I am sure I could think of 1 million more if I thought about it more.

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I learned how much stronger I truly am and how much more I needed to love myself.

 

I learned things can change in a blink of an eye and the world you thought you knew no longer exists.

 

I learned that when that door closed it really is true another will open when it’s time.

 

We broke up four years ago after being together eleven years. We broke up because we changed so much from early twenties to early thirties.

 

I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my current relationship. We’ve been together a little over a year and my boyfriend has shown me what I was missing and how to be truly loved!

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Thee one and only has always been the love of my life, my husband.

 

We've never broken up.

 

What I've learned is that we needed to ride out the storm financially in order to truly appreciate and enjoy fruition and prosperity later which is today or nowadays. I ran out of patience during the most challenging times of our marriage. However, I'm glad we were in lockstep all along.

 

We had some lean years living paycheck to paycheck. Our ship FINALLY came in and it paid off to have faith in our marriage, family life and Him.

 

My enduring marriage taught me what a real man is because I never had a strong father figure in my life. A real man loves and respects his wife and the mother of his children. They say the greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love and respect their mother. My husband wrote the book on it. Even though I no longer have newborns, he helps me with everything to this day. Therefore, marriage is not difficult and in many ways, he makes my life an easy joy. He helps me with errands, chores, cooking, laundry, housecleaning, takes out the trash, does yard work, home repairs, home maintenance, car repairs, car maintenance and gas tanks are always automatically filled up. I never have to go to the gas station. He always picks up the slack. I don't have to ask. He just does it.

 

My FIL (father-in-law) treats his wife like a queen and my husband grew up observing his father. My BIL (brother-in-law - my husband's brother) is the same way; all very moral, honorable men. MIL (mother-in-law) had been sickly all her life so my husband helped her a lot while he was growing up. Thanks to MIL, she trained her son well. Therefore, he helps me a lot. He has a lot of empathy and high emotional intelligence (EQ).

 

My husband taught our sons how to be men and how to respect women. He didn't lecture them. Our sons grew up observing their father behave with integrity and treat others with respect and dignity.

 

My BFF (childhood friend ever since 4th grade whom I meet for walks, shopping and lunch once or twice every month throughout the year) told me that I'm living a 'Cinderella story' and she's right. She knew where I came from which was a painful childhood and parents who were a volatile mismatch from the start.

 

My relationship and marriage to my husband taught me to be grateful because I married up and I'm incredibly fortunate. I count my blessings everyday. :D My mother said my husband is what you call 'A MAN.' I believe her, too. :friendly_wink:

 

My marriage taught me that in order to have a successful relationship or marriage, you have to choose the right person in the first place.

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I guess my first real long term relationship (highschool, early 1980s). I learned how to love and be loved for sure, how to come out of my shell (he was a great dancer and he got me to get out there and dance my heart out -so much fun). How to get along with a boyfriend's friends and family, and about what I valued -a bit too much about looks back then. Also how it affected me to the core what he thought of me -and too much -enough that it was a major trigger in a multiple year almost eating disorder. And his intentions were fine - but my reaction was immediate and intense. I learned how important it was to me not to have intercourse quite yet and how important it was to be with someone driven and ambitious (he was a bit too laid back in that department).

 

We broke up because he went off to college and we grew apart.

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My first real LTR taught me to know that controlling behavior is not an act of love. I took away from it an experience I share with others that are in a similar situation and help them to get out of an abusive relationship.

Same here. And I will add to this is 16 or 17 is way too young to be in a relationship (for most) You don't have the emotional maturity to navigate things and we often end up handling things irresponsibly.

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I learned how to love, and learned how to know how I wanted to be treated.

 

We broke up because parents found out he's bisexual, and they decided they wanted to bug in on our relationship (NOT COOL), forcing us to postpone our wedding to "talk" about things, and spit out all their views on him about being bisexual and stuff. Ex was hurt, I was hurt, he said I could choose on what to do and that he didn't want to be bullied into a decision, meaning postpone or not. Then when we get out of the therapists office he tells me I can only choose what he wants or break up, meaning elope. I tried to find a middle ground option and he left me.

 

Short of the story there but yeah, learned that I deserve way better than that a-hole.

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