cherryblossom2 Posted December 27, 2019 Share Posted December 27, 2019 Hi everyone, I’ll try to give a brief background to my story. I met my ex when I was 37, he was the same age as me. We met on Tinder (not ideal I know!) this was 6 years ago. I said I wanted to start a family sooner rather than later due to my age, and he was ok about it. He told me he had a visa for Australia and that he planned to go in 6 months time. We agreed to see how things went as we really liked one another, and over the course of 4 months our feelings became much stronger and we started falling in love. The Australia thing was the white one elephant in the room, and it started to cause problems within our relationship. He also had mental health problems, anxiety/panic attacks. So he broke up with me. Shortly after we broke up, I found out I was pregnant. We didn’t use contraception a couple of times (yes I know it wasn’t a sensible thing to do). He essentially freaked out, and left for Australia. He sent me an email saying he was going and it wasn’t his intention to contact me. So I didn’t. It was heart breaking, but I decided to raise my daughter on my own. She is nearly 5 now, luckily I’m financially stable and have a house etc so technically I don’t need him really. Two years ago I got my brother in law to contact him to get some medical info we needed urgently. This was the first contact we had, he told me his mother had died. So I asked him if he wished to find out more info on his daughter. Over the course of two years we have very slowly built up contact firstly by emails, then to whatsapp and now to FaceTime with my daughter. This Christmas he has come over for three weeks, he spent three days with us and it’s been lovely (he stayed in a hotel) he was great with his daughter. The chemistry is still there between us, but I get the impression he doesn’t want to leave his beloved Australia and lazily would like us to move their - which isn’t going to happen. He is coming back next week again to see us before he leaves. I want to ask him a bit about the past, because I have so many questions. Like how could he leave his daughter and disappear?! Plus he doesn’t contribute towards her at all, so essentially he is having his cake and eating it. I’m feeling a bit confused if I’m going to be honest about everything, my emotions are all over the place. Part of me would love us to all be a family, but a part of me can’t stand the man for what he has done. We had lunch with his brother, and his brothers family (I had met them when we were together) and it was incredibly awkward. His brother didn’t look too impressed with me, so I dread to think what he has been telling him. I just need a bit of advice how to deal with the situation. I would love to happy ever after, but I don’t think it’ll happen.. Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.