TheDMan05 Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 I've struggled with social anxiety (possibly avoidant personality disorder) since I was young. Since school I haven't had any lasting friendships, partly because I never used to speak to people much. But also because of anxiety about keeping in touch with people, especially online. I worry about being a nuisance or that I'm boring them. I think that's mainly because I can't see how they are reacting, so I fear the worst. I'm actually much more comfortable talking to people in real life, although that certainly wasn't always the case. At the moment there is someone I'd like to be closer to. We met at university a couple of years ago. I actually asked her out once (during a rare confident phase). She was seeing someone, but we still got on really well afterwards. The problem is, I get anxiety even about the simple things. Like, how often is too often? Or not enough? I find it difficult having real time chats on Facebook, for example, because that feeling of being a nuisance builds pretty quickly. But I worry that one message every day or so will mean she would get bored. I also worry she's too nice a person to stop replying if she doesn't want to talk (she also has some anxiety related to other people's perceptions of her). The last time we had a Facebook conversation (over several days) was just over a month ago. Prior to that it was a year. I've been gearing myself up for messaging her again. I only want to ask about her Christmas plans, like friends do. If we were still at university, I'd just walk up to her and ask her. It's so frustrating! Link to comment
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