TangoRed Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 So I decided to open my options before settling on committing to one person. I met a guy who I decided I wanted to get to know. We hung out for a few weeks, got to know each other. I decided I wanted to become intimate. The following day I mentioned that we should plan to hang out again. To see a context before going further with the situation..before we became intimate, after we would talk about making plans he'd flat out say things like "that sounds good, looking forward to seeing you again", "yeah, we definitely should." Instead, this time he implied that we'll see and make it seem like a maybe or who knows. I don't remember the exact words but it was a complete polar opposite of what he'd normally say. So, I simply said ok. I figured maybe he wasn't feeling things after we had became intimate, which is fine. Whatever. A few days later he saw me out and about. At first I had no idea he was even there because I was distracted and didn't hear him because I had my personal music up and zoned out in my own place. I apologized immediately afterward, stating I just didn't realize he was there and apologized for seeming if I was ignoring him. He accepted my apology and said not to worry. The following day he tells he hopes I'm well and that I seem distant but that's ok. I answered that I just got a lot of work stuff suddenly get piled on me and needed to focus on that. Asked him how he was and such. Next day, we chat a few minutes over text about how our day is going and things seem normal from what there is currently between us after we hash out the hiccup the previous day. I told him once work lets up we should plan something, he said he hopes to. The following day he asks out of the blue Is there a time that works for me to pick up some items I left with him when he was available. That he doesn't want to hold me up from getting my things, he knows I have lots to do and he doesn't want to make it awkward. I told him I wouldn't be able to today and asked what he meant by awkward and how. All he said was Ok and that he hopes my day goes well and to hit him up when it works for you. Told him alright, thanks and that just so you know nothing is awkward on my end and I apologize if I gave that impression. He left my message on read. I feel like I'm being manipulated a little in my feelings, making me feel like I did something wrong when I haven't. I apologized for the incident the other day and we settled it. Now I feel like maybe he's holding it against me by acting like this? Am I being crazy or seeing things that aren't there? I feel like it's the start of what could be a gaslighting relationship if it got that far. I don't deserve to be manipulated or be gaslighted and feeling some type of way. I'm too old for that noise and I'm not about game playing. There was also a previous incident I kind of shrugged off as what was probably him in a rush. About a week prior to to this incident we bumped into each other. I said good morning and all he said was good morning and just booked it, as if he wasn't interested in having any sort of conversation. Felt kind of cold. I thought perhaps he was just busy and didn't have time for small talk, but maybe there's more to it after all with his current behavior. I've never met a gaslighter before and I'm not really sure how to identify it, so if this is what it is I want to avoid it at all costs and ensure I'm just not being crazy. Link to comment
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