Philflames Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 .. I was having a discussion with a family friend I've known since I was young. She is a friend of my grandmother's. She started discussing about me looking into getting disability for myself, it kind of upset me that she would even bring it up. I explained to her that I didn't want to be labelled, like cool free money but if I have the ability to work and enjoy doing so why would I take an easy route. That's just not me.. I don't deny that something is wrong but we all have problems, I'm not losing my marbles it's not impacting me as a person. I would love some therapy just to explain what hell I've been through these last 28 years maybe some medicine to help me focus. I've endured a life worth of abuse and I think that has impacted me more than some "disability" No one understands the impact of being raised by a narcissist if they themselves have never endured it, my grandmother is a different person in public. No one gets to see the real monster she is behind closed doors. So it really struck me when she started discussing things that my grandmother tells me. Ive been thinking about it all day long honestly. The idea that people base me off of what an actual crazy person has told them and then discussing it with me or about me. Then I explained to her the amount of abuse and being held back I've endured she brings up my child's dad saying it was his fault and said let's be real "boys" hold us back. I'm like but I'm not even focused on men at this moment I'm looking to build up so I can get the hell out of this loop I'm stuck in. My family is so damn toxic as is , why would a practical stranger feel the need to discuss my life and what I need to do with it... I feel so judged and hated, yet misunderstood because no one gets to know the person I am. My grandma acts like she's living through me, I can't ever talk on my own or speak up for myself. She tells everyone my business These are all ploys to make herself look like the victim, then to everyone else I look like a spoiled brat but behind closed doors I'm called all types of ,es, fat, lowlife druggie when I don't even do drugs. She doesn't believe I can do anything for myself and ruined it for me the one time I did to prove I needed her. I hate narcissist, I hate the way they destroy people and their families. I'm fed tf up. Everyone treats me the same I can't wait for the day I can leave this state, some people's families aren't good for them and mine is a perfect example of that. Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.