Jump to content

She still likes her ex but also seems to want me?


MaybeThen
 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 104
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

This woman is not going to stick around, OP.

 

Keep that group of friends and family close to you. You are going to need them when she disappears from your life for good. Not if, but when.

 

This is what I’m nervous about. If you were to see my Facebook for the past 4 months it’s full of references to her. And the post made when it displays you’re in a relationship has 70 reactions from all friends and family including my mom, all congratulating me because I was finally in a relationship. And to make matters worse when she actually came back to visit I made a post of us embracing saying I wanted to spend my life with her and that she was the love of my life. Now again with 70 responses congratulating me. Normally my posts get 5-10 reactions for comparison. So, I’ll have to be a bit humiliated it didn’t last very long. But I’ll probably just keep it to myself and let it fade out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not sure why you two put so much importance on social media and "likes". Are you seeking validation?

 

She is the one who told me she wanted to see what that felt like to post couple pictures online because he wouldn’t do it. I’m doing everything she told me she wanted to experience and I kept mentioning it because why show me online if it’s all fake. Why not hide me. Like isn’t she embarrassing herself too when it all ends? But I guess the exploration was worth it to her. I’m convinced this isn’t as real as I once thought so its ok

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So now that you guys see she really exists and we have photos together you’re starting to realize she may genuinely like me

 

What I see is that she had some fun with you for a while, but seems to have backed away and friend zoned you. When exactly did you tell her you wanted to marry her?

 

You need to do no contact, and make a self improvement plan. I would suggest doing a physical training program, and getting fitter, as part of that; the endorphins make you feel good.

 

I know you don't believe me, but that will improve your chances, not hanging around being her male girlfriend.

 

Also, you should, as someone else has said, take down her picture.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What I see is that she had some fun with you for a while, but seems to have backed away and friend zoned you. When exactly did you tell her you wanted to marry her?

 

I keep telling you guys this one fact - she STILL tells me she loves me. Misses me. Wants to see me. That she left a piece of her here when she left. She is behaving exactly the same as she always had even AFTER we had the conversation. You guys think she had the conversation and then backed away from me? No. It’s the same. That’s why I thought she was choosing me over him.

 

time frame of events:

 

-felt like a couple

-said I wanted to spend my life with her

-had conversation with me

-still feel like a couple

 

 

It didn’t change. That’s what I’ve been trying to say.

 

Now I’m assuming it’s because her “feel like a couple” actions are only her having fun with me and me interpreting it as something more. But she didn’t friendzone me. Remember in the conversation she says, “i can’t make any promises or guarantees. But I enjoy the feeling.” So im thinking that’s what she’s hooked on and derives from this behavior between us. But if she truly wanted to be with me she wouldn’t have said those things, I feel like she gave herself a way out when she’s had her fill

Edited by MaybeThen
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What is her career?

 

I don't know why a photo would change anyone's opinion.I thought that she was "in love" with you.

It’s not the adult industry if that’s what you’re wondering.

 

 

And no, you guys have successfully convinced me she isn’t in love with me. It doesn’t add up. She might be considering me but she’s not in love with me

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I keep telling you guys this one fact - she STILL tells me she loves me

 

What a woman says is not important. It's her actions that matter.

 

She hasn't slept with you

She hasn't committed to you

She won't commit to you

Shes trying to get her ex to improve so she can justify to herself taking him back

She could be with you at any time but is giving you excuses.

 

What you have between you is a whole lot of nothing apart from some nice memories when she came on a friendly trip.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So now that you guys see she really exists and we have photos together you’re starting to realize she may genuinely like me

 

I never doubted she existed nor that you took photos together.

 

It doesn't change my opinion whatsoever. I am not sure why you thought it would do so.

 

And yes, it will hurt and probably feel embarrassing when you one day need to explain to your friends and family that you are no longer together. That's part of breaking up, particularly when you make the mistake of going public far too early before you have any idea if the relationship will last.

 

You're putting way too much emphasis on social media and pictures, OP. They mean nothing when it comes to the long-term viability of a relationship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You're putting way too much emphasis on social media and pictures, OP. They mean nothing when it comes to the long-term viability of a relationship.

 

So you mean we’ve created an internet fantasy life but not a real one? But being that we live in different countries, what else do we have but social media? It’s not just the social media that’s an important puzzle piece, it’s the fact she put me in front of her family on there. Like I’m part of her life. And she got on a plane to see me. Her social media is a reflection of her life and she’s incorporated me on there, and me her.

 

While it’s true that now you guys have convinced me she’s not in love with me, I have trouble letting go of the suspicion that it might be a budding relationship.

 

This is what she wrote on a photo where I wished her a happy two month anniversary. How do you make this up? How does a human say something like this and not mean it?

 

https://i.imgur.com/g67z6az.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't mean to be insensitive or unkind, but you come across as very naive. And I guarantee that works to her advantage.

 

People say things all the time that they don't genuinely mean. Does it suck? Of course. But is it possible? Again, of course. She can say all kinds of flowery things, but when you don't have the solid foundation to back it up, they're just words, man. She either operates on a very superficial and says whatever she thinks sounds good and will impress the internet, or she has a child-like concept of love. It's probably a combination of both, neither of which bodes well.

 

The bottom line: You cannot take someone seriously when they enter a relationship with you the day they break up with someone else. This was a fantasy from the very first day. She participates because she desperately misses her ex and wants some way to fill the void in her life that he left behind. You participate because you're lonely in love and want someone to love you. This isn't the foundation for a long-lasting, serious and mature relationship.

 

You are grasping at straws with this one.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't mean to be insensitive or unkind, but you come across as very naive. And I guarantee that works to her advantage.

 

People say things all the time that they don't genuinely mean. Does it suck? Of course. But is it possible? Again, of course. She can say all kinds of flowery things, but when you don't have the solid foundation to back it up, they're just words, man. She either operates on a very superficial and says whatever she thinks sounds good and will impress the internet, or she has a child-like concept of love. It's probably a combination of both, neither of which bodes well.

 

The bottom line: You cannot take someone seriously when they enter a relationship with you the day they break up with someone else. This was a fantasy from the very first day. She participates because she desperately misses her ex and wants some way to fill the void in her life that he left behind. You participate because you're lonely in love and want someone to love you. This isn't the foundation for a long-lasting, serious and mature relationship.

 

You are grasping at straws with this one.

 

Ok I understand

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OP that photo of the message she sent that shared above was a load of nonsense. Empty words.

 

She's literally just friendzoned you about 5 times over in that one message.

 

If she tells you she doesn't want to be with you then she risks losing your contact which means losing her emotional support which she wants while she's waiting for her man to improve himself so she can give him a second shot.

 

She does not respect you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OP that photo of the message she sent that shared above was a load of nonsense. Empty words.

 

She's literally just friendzoned you about 5 times over in that one message.

 

 

Ok. at the time I believed it but I think I see it now. How she calls me her best friend and then “much more” without having to specify?

 

 

When I said I wanted to spend my life with her on a public post, she said this:

 

https://i.imgur.com/6uhutcz.jpg

 

I really held it dear to my heart but now I’m thinking that’s probably a response any woman would give after someone just funded their vacation. Of course she wouldn’t want to look bad or as if she only used me for that. Plus, fantasy continuing on and if she wants my attention she has to keep playing along.

 

If she tells you she doesn't want to be with you then she risks losing your contact which means losing her emotional support which she wants while she's waiting for her man to improve himself so she can give him a second shot.

 

Yes that makes sense. I like the attention but I’m starting to see I don’t even think I’d be an option even on a good day

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share


×
×
  • Create New...