a_lifters_life Posted December 7, 2019 Share Posted December 7, 2019 Many of your already know my story, but for those unfamiliar here is a quick run down: my wife of (~3 years) and together for ~13 years. We now have a 6 month old child we'll refer to as T going forward. I have many posts from around when we got married ~3 years ago - with me in a very conflicted state : sort of like how I am now (just now in much more worse). Anywho, my wife and I were finally able to conceive T ~6 months ago. It was a really tough situation for us - we tried naturally for 2 years without any success, so we went the iui route. We now have a 6 month old - who is the joy of our worlds. Anywho ever since my wife gave birth to T - she has completely sidelined me, ran away a lot of the summer (shes a teacher - with 3 months off), and has completely disregarded us or our marriage. I mean T is an awesome addition to our lives, he really is awesome!!!! My wife has constantly put me down over the past 6 months - innocuous, very knit picky things: oh T's diaper is low (early on in his life) , etc. Not just that, but she has constantly sided with her family on everything. Prior to T - we had a lot of fun together - going to places, going out to eat, and just enjoying each other. Nowadays (the past 6 months) : she wont let my parents watch T ever - they've seen him for 1-3 hours literally a half dozen times over the past 6 months - so we dont get a chance to ever redevelop that chemistry with each other. She is downright NEUROTIC about anything and everything with T and puts me, and my family down constantly - but sees no problem with herself or her family: they do everything perfect and know everything about babies (supposedly ? lol) - the truth: this isnt true. I personally feel like I've hit my limit with her, and having T be around us under the same roof is only detrimental to his development - when she snarks about innocuous things going on or so she perceives that. What types of things should a guy in a situation like I'm in do? I've began to pull away from her - all communication with her is brief. We currently cook separate dinners, but eat at the same kitchen table, and for the past 4 weeks especially sit there and eat, but not a single word is mentioned (this is all after T is sleeping) Occasionally have spats at night about things dealing with T, or her family, or my family. We probably havent had sex in...... 2 years? We dont kiss ever We rarely hug She never appreciates what I do for her, or T. She treats me like a constant doormat - ESPECIALLY the past 6 months. I cant do anything right, no matter how hard I try. Her family completely disrespected me 10 days into being a father with totally outright and ridiculous comments. This resulted in me kicking them out of my house. This appears to be a kindling to fueling A LOT of current problems we're having. I apologized for maybe going a bit overboard with my anger towards them, to which they never responded to it (sent a text). What makes matters worse is - my wife backs them to no end, and YOU guessed it sees no fault with what they tried to pull on me, in my house house, 10 days into being a father. In fact she sees them as 'justified' in what they did. We've gone to some couples counseling for like a month now, and seperate individual counseling for ~2 months. So far we havent fixed anything in my opinion, despite bringing up these concerns (and many others) - nothing ever changes . Bottom line: I think I stayed SO long with her because we had a great relationship, until T, and she went off the deep end with being neurotic to me, overly obsessive over _every_ single thing dealing with T, and backing her parents even if they try to put down me, my character, while being only 10 days into being a brand new father. I feel like there hasnt been anything between us for ~2 years: especially physical. The past 6 months there has been nothing physical, or mental between us. There's nothing left. Sorry for the long, and less organized post. I just had to get a bunch off my chest, and wanted to hear your opinions of this all, and your own experiences in divorce. Thanks Link to comment
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