glitterrainbow Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 I've looked online for advice on this issue but articles are often superficial and/or focused on initial stages of dating eg "Make him wait before replying to his text" so I would appreciate advice from people who have also been in this situation. My boyfriend and I have been together for 16 months now. We are in our early 30s but he hasnt had many serious relationships because he became content with his own company/work/friends when he got out of his young adult years. He says before me he would have never imagined have a serious relationships. Things are really good in general, hes my best friend. We see each other anything between twice and four times a week depending on our work schedules. Recently Ive got a dog which has really became "our" dog. He comes to my place and hangs out with him and takes him out for walks etc when I have to work late. This has brought us even closer in our shared life because he will do things like cook for me at my place waiting for me to come home. Ive mentioned how it would be great for us all to just live together, especially as he is having problems with the condition of his current apartment and long term conflict with his landlord etc. Ive mentioned the idea only casually to start thinking about it together but then he talks about being pressured and just shuts the issue down. During our relationship Ive tried to be understanding of how settling down with someone isnt something he had previously imagined so it was new ground. But I feel that our relationship pace has always been fully dictated soley by him rather than him also trying to meet me half way. We do lots of nice things together but he doesnt come up with ideas himself and isnt the type to make romantic gestures. This is fine with me but coupled with the fact he never talks about a future leaves me feeling insecure and lacking in recieving affection/signs that Im really important to him. It doesnt always bother me but I have phases where its harder. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with this so it doesnt get to me so much? Or how to bring things up without getting his back up and him just shutting it down. I think that our age, and the length of time we've been together it shouldnt always be such a big deal to "think out loud" about our future. Link to comment
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