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Some people have a hard time saying the words "I love you" but that doesn't mean they don't love the other person. Conversely, some people say "I love you" when they don't really mean it or it is still the honeymoon phase of the relationship. Love doesn't necessarily have to be expressed verbally...it is the actions that speak love more than words. The caring and thoughfulness. The little things that are done and said, the special glances and special touches. Love between two people can be felt even if "I love you" is not stated in words.

Wow!!! CAD!! It has been forever!

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I tried to explain that I'm not sure what it means to be in love anymore. I thought I was in the past and I'm twice divorced now.

 

Well, a person could actually have truly loved a person and divorced them because of a dealbreaker such as a partner cheating.

 

What were the reasons for your divorces? Did you miss red flags about your partners? Or, did you fail to make the effort a husband should make in a marriage? If neither of these, giving us insight on the actual causes might help us give better advice.

 

Since you can't afford therapy, try reading library books and articles on getting rid of toxic emotional baggage. There is even a library app you can download to borrow free audio books onto a smart phone or a computer. Getting rid of useless scars should give you better success for any present or future relationships.

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Women say "I love you" more than men. Some men say it only in when there is tragedy. I remember one girlfriend shaking me by the shoulders and saying, "Say it!" lol. Whatsamatter, you no lika Squint Eastwood?!

 

Despite the claims of pop psychology, men and women are not exactly alike.

 

A good woman will know you love her by your actions. Relax. She was high maintenance, not the best catch. You probably dodged a bullet.

 

As a female I have had the opposite experience to what you describe!

Based on my experiences , I would have assumed men say I love you more than women? And wayyyy too soon!

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I guess it does sound like that, but when she expressed feelings for me, and while I could have easily said "I love you too", the overthinking me thought how blah, or patronizing, if that's the right word, sounded. The awkward pause hoping to think of something better to say, made it worse.

 

So what actually happened was that an insecure female told you she loved you only because she wanted to hear those words from you. So, I would be questioning the sincerity of her words since she essentially dumped you for not saying you love her.

Her actions suggest she doesn’t. If she loved you , it wouldn’t matter what your reply was. Or lack of reply.

But because you didn’t tell her you loved her , you are suddenly not worth loving!?

 

There is no love lost here at all.

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So what actually happened was that an insecure female told you she loved you only because she wanted to hear those words from you.

 

It was nearly 5 months before the OP's girlfriend said "I love you", so I think that's normal/reasonable, not a sign of insecurity. The fact it didn't feel natural to say it back tells the OP he wasn't really in the same place as her and if it's not there after 5 months then it's probably never going to happen.

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I've found most of the comments here to be pretty insightful.

 

I don't know if this is helpful/relevant to the subject (I think it could be, lol) but of those 5 months, we saw each other usually part of the weekend. Maybe a sporadic weekday dinner if her job took her near me. She has teenage sons and I was fine with the fact that she's got other responsibilities. (Or was I? Hmmmm...)

 

Anyway, I was definitely up for spending more time together, but not pushy or angry about it.

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Sorry to hear this. It seems it just ran its course and when she wanted to know how you felt (or didn't feel) everyone got their answers and now can go their way.

Well, as the breakup was "official" as of yesterday. I did notice at some point today she blocked me on FB. IMO this relationship ended prematurely to a misunderstanding.
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