Getting back into the game, again

[tenshi27]

Because if you date someone regularly they will most likely develop feelings.

 

I know you say you'll tell them upfront, but never underestimate the mind's ability to rationalize, especially when it involves romantic feelings. A woman you're dating will tell herself "I know he said he's still not divorced and isn't looking for a serious relationship, but he keeps seeing me and spending time with me. He wouldn't do that if he didn't have feelings for me. After all, actions speak louder than words!!"

 

You need to be aware that this can happen.

 

Thanks. You may be right in that perhaps I should get my divorce completely finished before moving on to dating. I guess in my mind I don't see it as absolutely necessary because it's just a matter of getting some paperwork finally done, and I know how I feel about my ex, she's 5,000 miles away and we have been apart for a long time. But I suppose whomever I am dating does not necessarily have to see it the same way and has to take my word for it, and maybe that's too much to ask.

[Rose Mosse]

Thanks. You may be right in that perhaps I should get my divorce completely finished before moving on to dating. I guess in my mind I don't see it as absolutely necessary because it's just a matter of getting some paperwork finally done, and I know how I feel about my ex, she's 5,000 miles away and we have been apart for a long time. But I suppose whomever I am dating does not necessarily have to see it the same way and has to take my word for it, and maybe that's too much to ask.

 

I hope you realize how inconsiderate this line of thinking is. I'll come at you from a different perspective because I'm the second wife. Be fair to your next partner and get things straightened out with your divorce first. It will help you in the long run and also close a door to a past for good. You'll probably feel better for it and start dating and respecting your partner a lot more instead of a past time or a person to spend time with because you're lonely as you're describing above. Be kind to you and do right by your previous marriage too. Let go. If you're still healing that's ok too. But be honest about that and don't lead anyone on.