Jambalaya421 Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 My ex and I were together for 8 years. 2 beautiful children under 5. Last couple years with stress of children, owning a home etc has been rough. We used to have a strong bond and thousands of great memories. We nearly broke up 3 months ago, when she was distant, and I discovered apartments rental applications in her browser history. We never had trust issues in the past. I told her she gave me no choice but to end things, and we argued for an hour and then went to bed separately. Next day I had change of heart, sent her flowers, and she came home crying and we hugged and we discussed an action plan for fixing things. her list wassimple. do dishes, make dinner once a week, let her go out 1 night a month and counseling if necessary. for the next 4-6 weeks we were in love again. Long walks, holding jhands, chasing her around the house, slapping her on the ass, making love etc. then the fighting started up again. All over trivial roommate type pet peeves and annoying loud house from children. She became distant again. I was reviewing our cell bill and noticed hundreds of text messages in last couple weeks alone to a familiar number. Her gay best friend Greg. I always supported their friendship, but hundreds of texts in a week seemed odd. Our daughter was playing games on her phone and asked for my help. I then go to texts and all but a few are deleted. I confornt her, explain she gives me no choice but to break up because of the deceit. She explains she has wanted to move out for awhile, and texts were aboutmaking the plans to leave, and advice. and I wont let her. She is no longer in love with me and its not fair to the kids... I then ask if she is willing to go to counseling. she says no. I then ask her to pack her things and leave. Keep in mind we lived together for 8 years. That was a month ago. she has since got a new apartment and all new life. She did not ask for her bed, TV, computer and many belongings. I continue to pick up Kids at daycare friday evening and drop off monday morning. I was on defensive claiming to be done and moving on with my life. I am a proud family man, and cherish my family and love her dearly. But I cannot allow her behavior. I was not about to ask her to come home, nor seem weak. But my heart hurts terribly. She has essentially been doing no contact for the entire month. COLD SHOULDER, no responses to pics of kids, nothing. This past weekend was first time I saw her in a month. She shows up all dolled up. I asked her to speak to me and she wouldnt look at me and keeps walking. I send a couple texts and she explains if we talk about kids only she will talk. I cant help it but to speak about feelings anyways. she sends pics of the kids back. no speak of feelings whatsoever. She acts as if she is hurt and trying to hurt me back. I kicked her out for wanting to break up with no counseling!!! She later texts, that " Ido not know what you want me to say, you have made it loud and clear how you feel and what you want" putting it back on me. 4 days later... I had flowers and her favorite pizza delivered to her work. She sends me a simple text.. "Thanks for the flowers and lunch" I know its a step in right direction. for an entire month she has acted like she is DONE! This is one stubborn nut to crack. I dont expect to run back into each others arms, and expect to take things slow. but damn I need more from her than she is giving. If she was done, would she be saying thanks? Link to comment
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