FRAGOLA Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 I married the man of my dreams. He was kind, caring, loving, affectionate. Life was beautiful, we got along amazingly. We were newlyweds so of course we had little arguments here and there. However, we had a few issues that we never really talked about. Things that were kind of swept under the rug after being brought up briefly. You see, his family and I never really bonded. The first time meeting them, they said some rude, disrespectful things to me but I kept quiet. Every further encounter with them was very awkward. They would never make an effort to get to know me, never asked me questions, it seemed they had zero interest in me and couldn't care less about the woman their son chose to marry. I tried to engage in conversation with them, but it was always one word answers that I'd get. This was weighing very heavy on my heart, as I had expected our relationship to be different. My husband noticed this tension between his family and I, but for some reason, sided with his family, pointing the finger at me for why the relationship between us was the way it was. His family lived a few hours away from us, so we only saw them every few months. He had expressed to me that he was missing his family, and friends, and hometown, and I understood that, but would explain to him that that is the circle of life. You grow up, get married and create your own family. Yes you respect, love, and care for your parents/siblings, but eventually you build your own family and create your own life. To get to the point, the last month of our relationship, his mom came to visit for a week, and he could feel the tension between us, even though we remained cordial, he could sense that we were not very fond of each other. We sat down alone and told me he could not live in our city anymore away from his family. That he was too stressed and feeling alone and he needed to go back to his hometown and be with his friends and family. I asked him if he was suggesting divorce, and he replied yes. I was broken, I was shocked, I was not at all expecting that. 2 days prior he was professing his love for me and how we were going to be with each other forever. I left, and went to my parents house as he had asked for some space, he went to stay with his friend who was visiting. After a few days I called him to come home so we can talk about everything and fix everything. He refused saying it was too late to talk and his mind was made up. I waited for him to come home a day later, and he asked me to leave. Again, I was so broken, I felt like I meant nothing to him. How can he so easily throw away something so beautiful in a split second. Not even giving it a second thought. I ended up leaving, trying to respect him and his space and allow him some time to think. But he remained the same, 4 months later he moved back to his hometown, it's been a year since our divorce, and he is now asking me if I want to meet with him to figure things out, but says he is unable to come to me because of all the stress he associates with the city I live in. He is asking for me to make a 7 hour drive to meet him. Am I crazy for considering meeting up with him after all this? Is it reasonable of him to ask this of me. He left me, without giving me a chance to talk to him, telling me it's too late, but now expects me to make the effort to go and figure things out. We've been talking on and off for a year, and every conversation is him blaming me for the breakdown of our marriage. Granted I wasn't the best at communicating, but where is the patience? if you claim to love your wife, shouldn't you be patient and understanding? Not leave her at the drop of a dime when you are feeling overwhelmed. I don't know if this story made sense, there's just so much going through my mind, my thoughts are so jumbled. your advice is appreciated. Link to comment
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