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I hooked up with someone when we were broken up, now GF wants payback?


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I have been with my GF for about 3 months. We have had a few bumps here and there but things are good and we love each other.

 

There was a point about a month ago where I was a jerk and she broke up with me. I thought it was completely over and ended up hooking up with random girl during that time.

 

My GF contacted me shortly after and we ended up working things out. She asked me if I was with anyone and I told her. I like to be honest.

 

She didn't like it at all. Said she may resent me and wants to hook up with someone to get over it. She called it a means to an end but I call it payback.

 

The thing is when we were broken up she also met someone. She said they didnt so much as even kiss but I know for certain they developed some kind of an emotional thing which to me is even worse than a random hookup. She doesnt see it that way.

 

I told her we were broken up. Whatever either of us did is in the past and that we didnt owe each other any commitment. We were single. If she does it now it is cheating.

 

I just dont know what to think or do. I worry she will want her "revenge". It will destroy the relationship because I cant be ok with that.

 

Just hoping for some opinions or advice.

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You're only dating 12 weeks. Were you exclusive? What caused the argument? It seems being exclusive or committed is not in the cards for you so try instead for open relationships. You'll have to deal with them hooking up randomly but you'll have your freedom.

This is one of my biggest problems is that I no longer have any life whatsoever. If I get divorce I pay child support and have any type of life I want on every other weekend at least. That led me to talk to other women, she caught me, I am at the point now where I strongly desire other women. But is all that a mandatory sentence for a loveless marraige?The spark is gone, and to be honest I dont think i could ever love again. Its more of a personal issue than with my wife.

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My GF contacted me shortly after and we ended up working things out. She asked me if I was with anyone and I told her. I like to be honest.

 

She didn't like it at all. Said she may resent me and wants to hook up with someone to get over it. She called it a means to an end but I call it payback.

 

She shouldn't have gotten back together with you first, if that is her current mindset.

 

You were on a break!

 

I adore Ross ❤️ lol

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That's a lot of content buddy for 3 months ....which kinda tells you what the future holds !

 

When there is this much drama and BS in such a short time it is a red flag that you are not on the right road . To break up in the middle and then have other interests really is not love .

That's the jist of it.

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Be real with yourselves here. Let each other go if things aren't going to plan. The eye for an eye is silly. It's what kids do in a playground when someone kicks sand at someone else or sits on their sandcastle. Speaking on adult terms here, deep down I don't think she respects you.

 

Why did you both break up in the first place? What made you a "jerk"? If you're acting out or being jerky it's usually an indicator that neither of you were compatible to start. Pay attention to your feelings/emotions. If you're irritable, annoyed, pissed off around someone, those are all signs that you don't agree with that person (perhaps even on more than one level). Stop forcing things and listen to your gut instincts. If she's bringing out the worst in you, cut her loose.

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The thing is when we were broken up she also met someone. She said they didnt so much as even kiss but I know for certain they developed some kind of an emotional thing which to me is even worse than a random hookup. She doesnt see it that way.

.

 

- many women do this, it's called a revenge cheat.

 

Well, breakups mean broken and there is cheating here. Sometimes you have to find a new girlfriend and start with a clean slate.

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12 weeks of this much drama doesn't seem worth it.

 

Are you still married or did you get separated/divorced or finally decide on the open marriage you wanted? https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=365245&p=4585209&viewfull=1#post4585209

I have been with my GF for about 3 months.

There was a point about a month ago where I was a jerk and she broke up with me. I thought it was completely over and ended up hooking up with random girl during that time.

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