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Need advice on how to reach out to my Ex-Wife on Christmas


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I would think the healing would have been done before you married your current wife, not after.

 

If you had an idea your ex wife wanted to reconcile I bet you'd leave your current wife so fast her head would spin. I don't get why you married her except you were hoping to make your ex wife jealous. Not nice.

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So, I'm going to say this again DO NOT NOT NOT send her a text. What is wrong with you? What twisted reason do you harbour that makes you want to reach out to her after all the nastiness and anger that she has shown you? Do you like verbal and emotional abuse? Do you like the pain of rejection?? Leave her alone and move on with your life. Think of your wife, for crying out loud. Get some help, dude, because you desperately need it (sorry).

 

You asked for our feedback. We all tell you to get over her, to leave her alone, to get on with your life, to stop disrespecting your wife, etc. and you simply ignore us!!! How dare you? You know something, go ahead, Mr. Fix-It, and send that text. Perhaps a good dose of nastiness and anger will wake you up.

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I shall remind you that I am in the Healing After Divorce section, which is what I am doing. I am not in the Getting Back Together section. I have never experienced so much cyber bullying like that in my entire life! lol

 

Happy Holidays everyone!

 

What about your current wife or girlfriend, though?

 

I think that you have to reread what category you are in "healing after divorce." You have no intention of healing because if you were, you would move forward and not try to engage with a woman who does not communicate with you/doesn't want to hear from you. Healing after breakup is to pick up the pieces, heal and move FORWARD and you are clinging on to moving backwards.

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Edited to change my advice: focus on yourself and your wife.

 

Ask yourself why you want to reach out to this woman? Are you not over her? (seems not)

 

Is she really mentally ill or just angry towards you so you will stay away from her?

 

Are you misreading this situation to make excuses for her rejection?

 

Rejection does hurt and it takes time to heal. And sometimes we just have to move on, with a scar. Use that scar to learn and as a reminder, sometimes things are not the way we want but we accept with grace and dignity. How do we do that? but not allowing or providing an opportunity for a person to hurt us again.

 

if you burned your hand on a hot stove, would you put it back on the hot stove as a test? No!

 

I feel the deep rooted issue is within you and that the person you need to be a friend to and love more is YOU! Not her. She has friends and her own life... Don't beg. It's extremely disrespectful to your wife and she deserves better.

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  • 1 year later...

I ended up not writing her and I am now focusing on my own life. 

Last I've heard, she was still single after 6 years, unable to find a suitable companion, complaining that all of the guys in her caliber are taken or married (she is 42), and struggling with bouts of depression while stalking my social media and reading my Instagram stories.

Personally I have moved on and having a ball. The ex? I don't need miserable people in my life. Life is too short and right now, I am in a new relationship, I am really enjoying it despite the pandemic.

Furthermore, I have been in No Contact with the ex for a very long time now (last e-mail was back in in July to check up on her, she is working in a COVID ward at the hospital and her parents were both hospitalized with COVID).

So I've made a small online financial donation in her honor to pay tribute. She has received a small card via post-mail from the donation, however I've never received a Thank You note, and I've left it at that. Who needs that? So I no longer associate myself with miserable people at this point in my life. 

My only #1 advice for folks at ENA is this: if you would like to reconcile with an ex, let them know once, then stop the chasing, leave them alone and focus on improving yourself and enjoy YOUR life.

They will either come back to you as a result, or you'll meet someone better. The more you obsess with less ex, the less chances you have at reconciliation. At this goes for platonic breakups after a few months, and even messy divorces with a lot of drama and animosity. 

Happy New Year to all folks! 

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3 hours ago, askdan said:

I ended up not writing her and I am now focusing on my own life. 

Last I've heard, she was still single after 6 years, unable to find a suitable companion, complaining that all of the guys in her caliber are taken or married (she is 42), and struggling with bouts of depression while stalking my social media and reading my Instagram stories.

Personally I have moved on and having a ball. The ex? I don't need miserable people in my life. Life is too short and right now, I am in a new relationship, I am really enjoying it despite the pandemic.

Furthermore, I have been in No Contact with the ex for a very long time now (last e-mail was back in in July to check up on her, she is working in a COVID ward at the hospital and her parents were both hospitalized with COVID).

So I've made a small online financial donation in her honor to pay tribute. She has received a small card via post-mail from the donation, however I've never received a Thank You note, and I've left it at that. Who needs that? So I no longer associate myself with miserable people at this point in my life. 

My only #1 advice for folks at ENA is this: if you would like to reconcile with an ex, let them know once, then stop the chasing, leave them alone and focus on improving yourself and enjoy YOUR life.

They will either come back to you as a result, or you'll meet someone better. The more you obsess with less ex, the less chances you have at reconciliation. At this goes for platonic breakups after a few months, and even messy divorces with a lot of drama and animosity. 

Happy New Year to all folks! 

 

Why the heck are you even "in the loop" to know all this. Drop all "friends" acting as "informants."  Block her everywhere on social media not so she cannot reach out but so YOU DO NOT LOOK. 

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No, I don't even need to look at her social media anymore. Her live is very boring anyways. 

Her pride is wounded, karma did its work. I have moved on, remarried, and in a much better place while she lives in isolation, believing her own false narrative. 

- THE END -

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