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Uncomfortable comments


geomeo123

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ok so I’m keeping my distance from her. I feel like I’m giving her the silent treatment. I do talk to her but only about work. The problem is she seems now more to want to interact. She’s sending me unnecessary emails and doing stuff she wouldn’t normally. She’s trying to make me acknowledge that she’s there I think. What is wrong with her?

 

Often the thing that makes a person uncomfortable after they've dumped an emotional onslaught onto someone else is not so much about the response, but rather the embarrassment they feel about their own behavior.

 

So she projected that onto you. While that might be forgivable in another context, at work it's dangerous and shows you her capacity to misunderstand you and potentially get you into trouble.

 

So stay away from her beyond pleasant business exchanges. If she corners you about backing off, do NOT respond to any personal topics in writing--EVER again. Those can be used against you. Instead, you can just tell her in person that you will always enjoy working with her, but her remark about you making her uncomfortable has raised your best judgment about keeping your interactions at a business level.

 

If she doesn't 'like' that, too-bad-so-sad. You need to take her flaky about-faces as a warning that your job could be at risk if you continue any kind of friendship with her.

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ok so I’m keeping my distance from her. I feel like I’m giving her the silent treatment. I do talk to her but only about work. The problem is she seems now more to want to interact. She’s sending me unnecessary emails and doing stuff she wouldn’t normally. She’s trying to make me acknowledge that she’s there I think. What is wrong with her?

 

Instead of wondering "what is wrong with her," have you taken some time to reflect why are you so curious about her motive etc? Why the obsession if you believe you have done nothing wrong? "The silent treatment" sounds like a manipulative move used for retaliation, punishment, or provoking some sort of reaction. Since you said you have no interest in her whatsoever, there is no need for such maneuver. Just go back to business as usual.

 

I would like to know what possible motive she has for her behavior. Because I want it to stop.

 

You can't control others' behavior. You can only control your own. If she is doing/saying something inappropriate, you could respectfully tell her that her comments/behavior made you uncomfortable, or report her if you'd like. That should stop it.

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I keep my distance now and her behavior starts to be bizarre. I would like to know what possible motive she has for her behavior.

 

What exactly does this bizarre behaviour consist of?

 

What sort of unnecessary emails is she sending you, and what are the other things she has done that she hadn't done before?

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If you sincerely want her behaviour to stop there is no need to wonder where her motive is coming from. Just ignore it as you are and address her only in regards to work. It doesn't matter what else she chooses to do or where she wants to sit or talk to others or whether she's making eyes at you or waving at you or what she's emailing you. Just ignore or put the inappropriate or unwanted emails in a separate folder in your email account and store it for HR if you need to when the time comes. Don't respond to them.

 

If she says hello, say hello back. Don't ask her questions about her weekend or her day. If she asks you questions about yours, be cordial with short answers, "Doing fine, thanks. See you around or have a good day." You can answer someone and respond to them without inviting any other questions about yourself from the other party. Practice doing that and keep the contact to a minimum if you really want her behaviour to stop.

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