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Why shouldn't i kill myself? I'm not anywhere close to where i wanna be in life and i just wanna be free from it all. Ever since 3-4 years ago(i was 17, now im 21), I've lost my home with my mom, my mom last year in december, and financial aid for school because of how my mom was dying for 6 months last year. Im just a stupid dog walker with nothing more going for herself. I wanna be a game designer but life has impeded me so much that I'm likely not gonna make it anyway.

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I’ve been where you are op, different circumstances, but I too have been in the mindset I didn’t want to live. I know the darkness our minds can reach. I also know there is light waiting at the end of that darkness. I was fortunate to live through an attempted suicide back in 2007. I saw what my attempt did to my friends and family. Even people I hardly knew. It causes a big ripple affect in life.


Now that I have a major health scare looming over me. One that will make me work hard to keep my life. I see life as a gift.

You are very young and I promise the story to your life gets better, give it time! You have potential. If you no longer have a family right now you will get a chance to build one with new love and friendships.


As another poster suggested you could take out a loan for school. You have plenty of options.



You’ve got a long road ahead of you so buckle up, I promise it will be a good ride! 🙂

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Hey CyberTyrant,


First and foremost - I need you to put the number 1-800-273-8255 on a piece of paper and put it in your wallet/purse/phone case/whatever. Tattoo it to your f*cking finger if you need to, but have it nearby while you feel like this and promise me (and more importantly yourself) you will speak to a person before you ever give in to the pain.


I know what you're thinking - by now if you're playing around with the suicide idea, you've seen that number appear online likely so many times now that you're numb to the idea of it. Fine, humor a dude online and do it anyways, just write it on a piece of paper please and put it somewhere you'll have it; as a favor to some random guy on a message board who you never will be asked to do a favor for again nor will ever know who he is. Seriously, it's stupid, I know, but do it and remember where it is. No one else will ever know it's there and it will take you literally a couple seconds to do.




No, seriously - stop reading right now and do me that one minuscule favor. This post can wait.




I'm trusting you did it -


Try to understand, I'm 34-years-old, I'll be alive statistically double that and then some; however, when I remember 21-years-old it feels like a distant, far-off memory from a different person, a child basically. My life has changed for better or for worse literally dozens and dozens of times since i was 21-years-old and I can honestly tell you my 30's are far more fun and fulfilling than my 20's were.


The scariest thing with life if that you're living it in the present and remembering the past but have no idea what the future holds. This allows you to create a visual of a miserable future when you feel miserable - but it's all a dumb, depressing fantasy; you do not know what the future holds


You have a goal, you have a passion and you also have hardships you need to work through. I wouldn't want to read your autobiography someday if you didn't have these.


I need you to talk to someone who is wise enough to understand your goals and can offer guidance and I need you to not think "end game" for your goal, but work with them to come up with a step-by-step to getting to the next level towards your goal. Life is like football, sure you want the touchdown and it sounds like you know what one would be for you, but you need to think 10 yards at a time to get there... tell someone who is successful and you trust about your dream and ask if they can help you lay out a path to get there.




You've seen 21 summers, you maybe remember 15 of them. You're life has barely started and you're going to cheat yourself out of it if you commit suicide.


You have never seen the person you will fall in love with, you've never seen the job offer you'll get, you've never seen the friends you'll meet who you'll cherish, you don't see the intense lows and the wonderful highs that are coming someday and if you commit suicide, you'll never see any of that.


If you commit suicide, you'll never get to do anything with your life but while you are alive, you will.


You need to fight like Hell for anything worth having in life and if you commit suicide you'll never be able to fight because you'll be dead and dead people can't fight for anything and I swear to you, life is worth fighting for.

Edited by RyanMI
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I had numerous attempts throughout 2018...


It’s not painless, it’s harder than you think and the chances are high you’ll end up in a worse situation than you are now!


Only 1 out of 20 attempts actually succeeds. Don’t do it!


All you must do for now is Endure.


You mention loss in your post. You should focus on grieving those losses first *


Sending you strength*



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