Jump to content

impotence issues


drivenfuture
 Share

Recommended Posts

I almost went all the way with this cute Vietnamese girl...did pretty much everything up until the end...and lost my erection at some point and couldn't get it hard again.

Very frustrating...this would have been the first time in 10 years. The same thing happened my first time too (as in the girl I lost my virginity too). idk what the problem is :-/ But needless to say I'm very frustrated.

She's super sweet I feel like a tool now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If this occurrence has only happened twice in your lifetime, I doubt it's anything to be wary of but I agree about seeing your doctor about it and describing the issue there.

 

You're probably very down about it. This is natural. It's natural because it's failed expectations (you expected a different outcome). I'd check that and make a mental note. I'd describe your emotions to your doctor also as these can affect performance (built up anxiety, negative memories, negative associations).

 

As for your date, don't worry. If she wants to get to know you for you, this shouldn't affect her enthusiasm or desire to get to know you. Most women understand it takes more than abracadabra to get things up and running. I'm not sure if this has crossed your mind - she may not have been your cup of tea either in some form or another or the circumstances might have been too abrupt and insincere. Don't take this the wrong way - mind and heart and body should be in sync for great sex.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kinda personal questions but:

 

- How old are you?

- Do you watch porn regularly?

- Was your ‘first time’ not a nice experience and does this girl remind you of that time in any way?

- Are you fresh out of a relationship and still grieving over an ex?

 

Carus*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kinda personal questions but:

 

- How old are you?

- Do you watch porn regularly?

- Was your ‘first time’ not a nice experience and does this girl remind you of that time in any way?

- Are you fresh out of a relationship and still grieving over an ex?

 

Carus*

 

35

My first time was fine...I don't really have any emotions attached to that really...though that girl pursued me very heavily.

I'm not grieving over an ex per se...but I am still battling with emotions to a family of friends I lost some time ago...a pastoral family...but in particular it heavily involved one of the girls of that family...we were just friends but I had a hard time with the friend breakup.

The current girl doesn't remind me of anyone from my past...like at all.

Yes I watch porn pretty regularly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

35

My first time was fine...I don't really have any emotions attached to that really...though that girl pursued me very heavily.

I'm not grieving over an ex per se...but I am still battling with emotions to a family of friends I lost some time ago...a pastoral family...but in particular it heavily involved one of the girls of that family...we were just friends but I had a hard time with the friend breakup.

The current girl doesn't remind me of anyone from my past...like at all.

Yes I watch porn pretty regularly.

Thanks for answering that....

 

Over time, porn can certainly affect one's sex drive, especially when it comes to intimacy with a partner....

 

I would say just keep an eye on it....If it starts to happen regularly then you may have to dig a bit deeper.....

 

Also perhaps this girl doesn't turn you on too much in that regard.....?

 

Perhaps this has also got something to do with it:

I thought she was religious and wouldn't even kiss you after 4 dates, and she was asking for a status or label.

 

Carus*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

35

Yes I watch porn pretty regularly.

 

It is most likely the porn.

 

Modern media and porn has given many young men unrealistic female beauty standards. It is hard to get excited by the average woman if you have access to high quality videos and images of impossibly beautiful women at will on the internet.

 

It also depends on what kind of porn you watch. The more extreme you go, the less you will be turned on by normal vanilla sex with real women.

 

Masturbating to porn is also programming your body to associate sexual excitement with something that is nothing like real sex. Namely, when you are having sex, you are not watching somebody else have sex in third person, it is a totally different experience.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Read up on "situational ED", this is when there is no chronic physiological issue, just anxiety or other issues such as tiredness, drinking, etc. Try to relax and get the appropriate setting such as privacy, not too late, limit drinking, a partner that isn't this iffy. Although if you smoke, do drugs or drink heavily, have undiagnosed diabetes or cardiovascular disease things can start affecting you more often as early as 35 y/o.

.I can masturbate perfectly fine---and with the first girl it worked the next time we tried.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Read up on "situational ED", this is when there is no chronic physiological issue, just anxiety or other issues such as tiredness, drinking, etc. Try to relax and get the appropriate setting such as privacy, not too late, limit drinking, a partner that isn't this iffy. Although if you smoke, do drugs or drink heavily, have undiagnosed diabetes or cardiovascular disease things can start affecting you more often as early as 35 y/o.

 

The only ones here that potentially apply is the experience factor...and possibly undiagnosed diabetes...I'm not sure about the anxiety, maybe she had anxiety but I thought I was fine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One, this is just normal. Two, this sounds almost inevitable, at least going from your past threads about this woman.

 

I understand that she is an actual person, but your lens in thinking about her has been hyper-sexualized. No kiss by date four and—boom—she became the religious minx, the coy maiden who had the audacity to withhold her bounty from you. A hiccup about guacamole was registered as her teasing you further, as if instead of taking about mashed up avocados she was flashing some skin and saying, "Look, sweet man, but don't touch."

 

And so when she was "at last" down to "give it up"—the thing you've been fixated on about her for a while—your head exploded and, with that, the smaller turtle head stayed in its shell to dodge that shrapnel. Happens. Shrug emoji. Own it. Just as she is more than an object placed on earth for your sexual satisfaction, you too are an earthbound mortal who craves more than conquests of the flesh. Like, you know, connection—the true source of unobstructed blood flow.

 

So: inhale, exhale. See her again. Remember that she is, like you, a human being, and that's the fun part here. With that, I think, you'll find things level off and start pointing northward once more.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...