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Is my ex blowing me off? Or does she actually want to hear back from me?


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I got out of a serious relationship with my ex last year. It didn't end too well as she left to be with someone else. After over a year, I've made my peace with what happened for the most part and no longer hold any ill will towards her. She also recently broke up with said boyfriend. Because she was very important to me at one point I decided to try and reach out to her and bury the hatchet. (Unnecessary probably I know, but it felt like the right thing to do). I then waited an appropriate amount of time so it didn't look like I was just messaging her because she was single again.

 

She responded within the same day and we had some back and forth small talk but her answers while friendly, were also very bland and curt. It felt pretty clear that she didn't feel anything in particular to me anymore and was just trying to be polite.

 

At the end of our conversation I asked "It was nice catching up with you, albeit briefly. Maybe we can do it again some time. Would that be okay with you?" and she responded with

 

"I wouldn't mind, but maybe not for a little while? I'm pretty busy for the rest of the semester but maybe we can chat over the holidays?"

 

Can someone interpret what this means? To me it seems like she's blowing me off or didn't know how to tell me no. Because no one is that busy to just small talk in the span of two months. If that's the case, then I'll accept that my message probably wasn't appreciated and drop it. But I just wanted to make sure that there wasn't an alternate explanation, like she wants more time to process her breakup before talking to me again.

 

Thanks in advance for any advice!

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Sorry to hear this. Ok leave her be. Let her contact you over the Holidays. Stop waiting in the wings. Get on with your life and date other girls. She spelled it out rather clearly with this remark:

I'm pretty busy for the rest of the semester but maybe we can chat over the holidays?"
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You're a bit sensitive to her response so I'm more prone to thinking that you're really not over her and miss her company a lot. That itself is not very appropriate considering that she's your ex. There's nothing platonic about your intentions and I think you'd be lying to yourself by telling yourself that you just want to be friendly.

 

My advice would be to cool it and let her be. Leave her alone and move on. You're taking two steps backwards for that one step you took forwards trying to heal from the break up. You are not over her. Let her go.

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You wrote this in June:

"Wanted to thank everyone for taking the time and effort to provide me with advice about my predicament. As I mentioned, I will not be contacting my ex and trying to "bury the hatchet"."

 

Did you change your mind because you "heard" she and her boyfriend broke up?

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It’s cool man, you gave it a shot and there’s nothing wrong with that. Even if you changed your mind from something you said months ago - it’s ok to change your mind.

 

The writing is on the wall though - she is not interested in hearing from you.

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You gotta be really lacking in self worth if you would message and want someone that LEFT you for SOMEONE else.

 

Move forward, she's not interested. And even if she were (which she isn't!) I would never contact someone that dropped me for another person.

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