Manonajourney 2 Posted November 6, 2019 Share Posted November 6, 2019 I got out of a serious relationship with my ex last year. It didn't end too well as she left to be with someone else. After over a year, I've made my peace with what happened for the most part and no longer hold any ill will towards her. She also recently broke up with said boyfriend. Because she was very important to me at one point I decided to try and reach out to her and bury the hatchet. (Unnecessary probably I know, but it felt like the right thing to do). I then waited an appropriate amount of time so it didn't look like I was just messaging her because she was single again. She responded within the same day and we had some back and forth small talk but her answers while friendly, were also very bland and curt. It felt pretty clear that she didn't feel anything in particular to me anymore and was just trying to be polite. At the end of our conversation I asked "It was nice catching up with you, albeit briefly. Maybe we can do it again some time. Would that be okay with you?" and she responded with "I wouldn't mind, but maybe not for a little while? I'm pretty busy for the rest of the semester but maybe we can chat over the holidays?" Can someone interpret what this means? To me it seems like she's blowing me off or didn't know how to tell me no. Because no one is that busy to just small talk in the span of two months. If that's the case, then I'll accept that my message probably wasn't appreciated and drop it. But I just wanted to make sure that there wasn't an alternate explanation, like she wants more time to process her breakup before talking to me again. Thanks in advance for any advice! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 2,223 Posted November 6, 2019 Share Posted November 6, 2019 Sorry to hear this. Ok leave her be. Let her contact you over the Holidays. Stop waiting in the wings. Get on with your life and date other girls. She spelled it out rather clearly with this remark: I'm pretty busy for the rest of the semester but maybe we can chat over the holidays?" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SarahLancaster 155 Posted November 6, 2019 Share Posted November 6, 2019 You're right. No one is that busy to just make small talk. My interpretation is that she probably doesn't want to hear back from you. The "I wouldn't mind but maybe not for a little while" means "I'm being polite. Leave me alone." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rose Mosse 479 Posted November 6, 2019 Share Posted November 6, 2019 You're a bit sensitive to her response so I'm more prone to thinking that you're really not over her and miss her company a lot. That itself is not very appropriate considering that she's your ex. There's nothing platonic about your intentions and I think you'd be lying to yourself by telling yourself that you just want to be friendly. My advice would be to cool it and let her be. Leave her alone and move on. You're taking two steps backwards for that one step you took forwards trying to heal from the break up. You are not over her. Let her go. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
boltnrun 1,184 Posted November 6, 2019 Share Posted November 6, 2019 You wrote this in June: "Wanted to thank everyone for taking the time and effort to provide me with advice about my predicament. As I mentioned, I will not be contacting my ex and trying to "bury the hatchet"." Did you change your mind because you "heard" she and her boyfriend broke up? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skeptic76 63 Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 It’s cool man, you gave it a shot and there’s nothing wrong with that. Even if you changed your mind from something you said months ago - it’s ok to change your mind. The writing is on the wall though - she is not interested in hearing from you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hollyj 1,380 Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 Dude, she dumped you for another guy and you still want her back? Where is your self worth!? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hollyj 1,380 Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 You're still pining for a woman longer than you actually dated. Don't you think that it is time to move on. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Honeycomb8 159 Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 You gotta be really lacking in self worth if you would message and want someone that LEFT you for SOMEONE else. Move forward, she's not interested. And even if she were (which she isn't!) I would never contact someone that dropped me for another person. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MissCanuck 926 Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 She is not into it, OP. She doesn't want to be rude and totally ignore you, and she doesn't have the courage to come out and say no, but her response to you strongly suggests that you take hint and go on your way. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ninjabib 82 Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 Leaver her alone OP. She's not into you which you should have picked up on when she cheated on you. Why would you want to be friends with a cheat? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
catfeeder 1,867 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 When the key word is 'ex,' that pretty much tells you all you need to know. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
abitbroken 1,294 Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 She is being polite. Okay - you have your answer that she feels no animosity. I would not contact her again. She is blowing you off in the most polite way possible. go find someone else to date Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BurtReynolds 2 Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 She was done when she left you for another guy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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