Almira23 Posted October 31, 2019 Share Posted October 31, 2019 Hello everyone, I think I may have a delusional view of where I stand with a guy that I am talking to. So, there's a guy that I talk to literally every single day. It's the point that If I don't respond, he will reach out and bombard me with messages to see if I am okay and if something is bothering me. However, we literally never see each other. The last time that I saw this man was about a month ago. I told him that we should plan a date and he gave me answer similar to "I have my own stuff going on, idk." I have literally no clue what he means by this. At first, I thought it may be an issue with physical attraction, but he does compliment my looks. So, basically am I wasting my time here? And why would he continuously want to talk to me if he has no intention of seeing me? Thanks! Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 31, 2019 Share Posted October 31, 2019 He's the clown here 🤡. Pull way back from this and discontinue the nonsense chitchat with him. just cut him off. This is a classic time-waster. he will reach out and bombard me with messages to see if I am okay and if something is bothering me.I told him that we should plan a date and he gave me answer similar to "I have my own stuff going on, idk." Link to comment
SarahLancaster Posted October 31, 2019 Share Posted October 31, 2019 Maybe he hates your overuse use of the word 'literally.' (just kidding). If he wanted to date you, it would have happened by now. Nobody who is interested in another person says he has his own stuff going on. What does that mean? Everyone has stuff going on. I'd start reducing the communication with him...even eliminate it. If he asks why, tell him that you're willing to meet with him for a date but the constant texting is boring. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted October 31, 2019 Share Posted October 31, 2019 Is there a reason why you keep speaking with him? Are you seeing other people at the same time? Link to comment
DancingFool Posted October 31, 2019 Share Posted October 31, 2019 It means that he likes chatting online and wasting your time, but has zero intentions of actually meeting you or dating you. What you do with crazies like that is block and delete. If he tries to bombard you, just tell him directly that you aren't interested in text buddies and that he should stop contacting you. If he bombards you more, ask him if he will knock it off or will you be needing to get a restraining order. That tends to work even with the worst of psychos. Never ever take crazy behavior as flattery. It is not. Crazy is just crazy and not someone you want to deal with. Don't even try to offer to meet up with him again. Walk away, just walk away. Do not engage with nutcases. Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted October 31, 2019 Share Posted October 31, 2019 Yes, you're wasting your time. Tell him it's time to go your separate ways without a long winded explanation. If he's relentless, then ghost, block and delete him. He's just stringing you along and the joke is on you. Get rid of him. Link to comment
Annia Posted October 31, 2019 Share Posted October 31, 2019 He means he's not interested in being with you in person. Listen to what he said, believe him and stop this non sense if you want more than online chats. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted October 31, 2019 Share Posted October 31, 2019 Yes, you are wasting your time trying to date him. Interestingly, you're also wasting your time wondering about why he is the way that he is. And why would he continuously want to talk to me if he has no intention of seeing me? Who knows? Who cares? Whatever the reason is, it can't possibly be worth knowing. I wouldn't say that you were a clown, but you do seem to enjoy wasting your own time. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted October 31, 2019 Share Posted October 31, 2019 Wasting time! Block and delete. Pronto! Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 31, 2019 Share Posted October 31, 2019 I told him that we should plan a date and he gave me answer similar to "I have my own stuff going on, idk." I have my own stuff going on? . . .is a no. Anything other than a yes, is a no. He just like the electronic attention. Consider your time more valuable and stop letting him waste it. Sign off with "It's been fun. I have my own stuff going on too. If you're ever interested in meeting up, pick a time and place and let me know. Between now and then I can't do the electronic stuff anymore, Bu-bye" Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 31, 2019 Share Posted October 31, 2019 If you want a relationship with a person rather than your keyboard, this is not the guy. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 He sees you as someone to chat with, not someone to date. Move on if you want a real relationship with a guy. Link to comment
LootieTootie Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 He needs a friend... and possibly FWB in the future. If he doesn't want to meet but sends you tons of messages when you're not responding, he's lonely and looking for some validation. You may be the only person that is giving him the validation and until he finds someone else to provide that validation, he will keep pestering you. If you are unable to block this man, you may need to step back and ask yourself what your problem is. My theory is that this may be more of an internal issue than external. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 Are you sexting with him? Is that why you keep entertaining his garbage contact? "I have my own things going on" pssst. You must be getting something out of his attention to not have ended this by now. Common Sense: Block and delete him and take a break from online dating if that is where you 'met' him so that he doesn't bombard you there as well. If he does, then contact the admin and have him sanctioned. Link to comment
Almira23 Posted November 1, 2019 Author Share Posted November 1, 2019 Are you sexting with him? Is that why you keep entertaining his garbage contact? "I have my own things going on" pssst. You must be getting something out of his attention to not have ended this by now. Common Sense: Block and delete him and take a break from online dating if that is where you 'met' him so that he doesn't bombard you there as well. If he does, then contact the admin and have him sanctioned. Hi, No, I am not sexting him. I made it clear from the beginning that I am not interested in a hook up or friends with benefits. So, I steer away from that topic in general Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 Hi, No, I am not sexting him. I made it clear from the beginning that I am not interested in a hook up or friends with benefits. So, I steer away from that topic in general Then really, what keeps you responding to him? What benefit are you getting from your "pen" pal that keeps you engaging him and his non-in-real-life interest of you? Link to comment
Almira23 Posted November 1, 2019 Author Share Posted November 1, 2019 Then really, what keeps you responding to him? What benefit are you getting from your "pen" pal that keeps you engaging him and his non-in-real-life interest of you? Thats a good point. I guess nothing if I am going to be honest. I just thought maybe we would be a good fit because we have a lot in common, but everyone is right. I can't be in a relationship with a pen pal, who I never see in person. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 Thats a good point. I guess nothing if I am going to be honest. I just thought maybe we would be a good fit because we have a lot in common, but everyone is right. I can't be in a relationship with a pen pal, who I never see in person. .. so I guess the next question is what are you going to do about it? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 Yes, the time you are wasting waiting for phone pings could be spent messaging and meeting men who are interested in dating you. I can't be in a relationship with a pen pal, who I never see in person. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 Thats a good point. I guess nothing if I am going to be honest. I just thought maybe we would be a good fit because we have a lot in common, but everyone is right. I can't be in a relationship with a pen pal, who I never see in person. Good call! No more of this guy... Life's too short for all that. Link to comment
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