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How to feel good enough? Should I go on medication?


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Is it normal to cry almost every night over a guy, he said I was nice and he wants to take things slow. Which I don’t mind, but sometimes I just don’t feel like I’m good enough.. I feel like He’ll get bored of me! I’m usually quiet more introverted, I have a hard time accepting my personality. Should I ask him what type of girl he’s looking for? Thanks!

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I wouldn't jump to conclusions regarding prescription medications. Try to fix your life first.

 

Never glom onto a man for your identity and self worth. Be your own person so HE will cry on his pillow every night for you, NOT you for him!

 

If he wants to take things slow, go slow. What is the rush anyway? He wants to know what type of person you are and this is the time for you to scrutinize and observe his character, too. You never know. Perhaps you'll find his flaws and incurable defects which you'll look upon with great disdain.

 

If you feel that this man or people grow bored with you and you're introverted, work on yourself. Be the best person you can be whether it's your personal success, education, career, sports & fitness, weight loss, special interests, intellect, hobbies and the like. Enrich your mind. Make yourself less available. Be your own person. Get super busy and do self improvement. This is the draw and this is how you make yourself more attractive. Have your own life and become financially independent.

 

I don't think you should ask what type of girl he's looking for because then you'll change according to his preferences which makes you lose your sense of self. If the relationship fizzles, it will do so on its own. This means you two were not meant for each other. It's a great big world out there and he's not the only one.

 

Chin up, lady. Have strength and wisdom.

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I hope you pay attention to Cherylyn's post, lots of good advice there. Meds is not the answer. You could start with a checkup from your doctor and he/she may suggest therapy. You need to learn to love and value yourself.

 

Thank you, melancholy123.

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You shouldn't be dating a man in hopes of validation and happiness. In fact, if it's upsetting you this much, it's a huge sign that you're not ready to date.

 

You should have loads more confidence than this. It will end up being a recipe for disaster.

 

You might want to consider telling him that you want to remain friends because you're not ready to date. Then try to see a therapist who will help work out your issues with self esteem and confidence.

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What you can do is get a thorough checkup from a physician and referral to a psychologist for supportive therapy. In the meantime no, dating should not make you cry every night. Clearly he's not the right guy, so consider ending it.

 

You can also get out of your shell a bit. Start by improving your health, getting in shape, new clothes, hair, etc. Join some groups and clubs and start volunteering. Consider taking some fun, interesting and informative local classes or courses. Try not to make a guy your whole life so they end up pushing back like this. You need to get the ball rolling on your own.

Is it normal to cry almost every night over a guy, he said I was nice and he wants to take things slow. Which I don’t mind, but sometimes I just don’t feel like I’m good enough.. I feel like He’ll get bored of me! I’m usually quiet more introverted, I have a hard time accepting my personality. Should I ask him what type of girl he’s looking for? Thanks!
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Be your own person so HE will cry on his pillow every night for you, NOT you for him!

 

Why would you want him to cry? lol...no one should be crying. It should be an equal balance of respect and friendship that continues to grow into love.

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What you can do is get a thorough checkup from a physician and referral to a psychologist for supportive therapy. In the meantime no, dating should not make you cry every night. Clearly he's not the right guy, so consider ending it.

 

You can also get out of your shell a bit. Start by improving your health, getting in shape, new clothes, hair, etc. Join some groups and clubs and start volunteering. Consider taking some fun, interesting and informative local classes or courses. Try not to make a guy your whole life so they end up pushing back like this. You need to get the ball rolling on your own.

 

There is nothing in the OP’s post to suggest she needs to improve her health , that she is not in shape , that her clothes or hair needs improvement.

And there is nothing negative said about this guy at all. Nor that he is “pushing back”

 

You are simply feeling vulnerable which is normal.

 

But crying is excessive. Can you explain why you are crying? Is it happy or sad tears?

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Maybe you're not ready to date, it's not okay to cry for a man every night. It seems you have low self-esteem, why should he bored with you? Try reading some books/articles before dating, you can find great advice out there.

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It's doubtful a doctor is going to prescribe a pill to make your troubles go away...that's not how it works. You will be recommended most likely to see a therapist. The therapist will decide if medication is needed.

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Chronic crying, sadness etc is not a healthy state of mind. This is why she needs a full checkup by a physician to rule out physical or neurochemical issues. If those are found appropriate medication may be prescribed. In the US only a physician can prescribe medications for any number of mood or other issues which should be investigated at the very least.Therapists do not prescribe medication in western countries. They are for ongoing supportive therapy.

It's doubtful a doctor is going to prescribe a pill to make your troubles go away...that's not how it works. You will be recommended most likely to see a therapist. The therapist will decide if medication is needed.
Edited by Wiseman2
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Have to agree with Wise on this one. You need to see a Medical Doctor. There are SO many things that could be causing this. AN internal medicine doctor would be best, he can start with a complete blood work analysis.

 

This can not be treated like Cher's famous line from the movie Moonstruck... "SNAP OUT OF IT!"

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Why would you want him to cry? lol...no one should be crying. It should be an equal balance of respect and friendship that continues to grow into love.

 

It was just a figure of speech, SherrySher. I was merely describing how a woman's self esteem should go sky high and not cry on any pillow for a man like some country ballad.

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Have to agree with Wise on this one. You need to see a Medical Doctor. There are SO many things that could be causing this. AN internal medicine doctor would be best, he can start with a complete blood work analysis.

 

This can not be treated like Cher's famous line from the movie Moonstruck... "SNAP OUT OF IT!"

 

There is no blood test for determining what is making someone feel down in themselves. And no good medical Doctor would even waste her time or money suggesting a blood test.

 

This is Not a medical issue. Depending on what country she lives in , some countries give free psychiatric help if referred by a medical Dr. That would be her only reason to go see a medical Dr.

 

 

Otherwise she can seek her own psychiatrist.

 

If a psychiatrist determines that yes she needs antidepressants, along with therapy , the psychiatrist can arrange that even if they don’t write the prescription themself.

 

The OP has not actually stated any insecurities about how she looks etc. it was all about personality.

 

OP, how are you today??

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Exactly. She needs a metabolic workup for thyroid, diabetes or other disorders, simple blood tests. Also there are many neurological conditions that need to be ruled out. Then she can be referred to a therapist to follow up on uncontrolled crying and persistent sadness.

You need to see a Medical Doctor. There are SO many things that could be causing this. AN internal medicine doctor would be best, he can start with a complete blood work analysis.
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Exactly. She needs a metabolic workup for thyroid, diabetes or other disorders, simple blood tests. Also there are many neurological conditions that need to be ruled out. Then she can be referred to a therapist to follow up on uncontrolled crying and persistent sadness.

 

Medical conditions that can induce depression come with several other signs and symptoms that manifest first.

The OP has not mentioned any.

The blood tests you refer to would only be used for differential diagnosis if cause for depression was not otherwise determined.

 

OP , you likely are suffering from low self esteem and depression but it does not seem that it is medically related.

 

You might now have heightened anxiety so if you want to get some routine bloods done then go for it . For peace of mind.

 

How are you feeling today?

Edited by Billie28
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  • 6 months later...

Sorry to hear that. Don't try to make guys like you . Especially with sexual favors and unprotected hookups.

Is it normal to cry almost every night over a guy, he said I was nice and he wants to take things slow. Which I don’t mind, but sometimes I just don’t feel like I’m good enough.. I feel like He’ll get bored of me! I’m usually quiet more introverted, I have a hard time accepting my personality!
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