Xxshannonxx1 Posted October 26, 2019 Share Posted October 26, 2019 Long story short, we dated for a year, best friends for 9 before that. I thought everything was going fairly well, a few little arguments but nothing overly major. Just 3 days before he left we bought a pet together, this break up was spontaneous not pre thought out The day before he left me we'd had an argument, I'm good at admitting when I'm wrong but this argument really wasn't my fault and I stayed calm and tried to resolve it. He didn't want to see me, but he'd messaged me saying he wasn't sure about us any more. Then he asks me to go to dinner with his family, so I do and ask to speak to him afterwards. We speak, and he says he's not sure he wants to be with me anymore, I was obviously very upset and totally didn't see it coming, but tried to stay calm and not get angry, and it ended with me saying I didn't want to be with someone who isn't sure about if they want me. I asked to collect my things as I was dropping him home anway. He declined and seemed panicked and more upset than I was, so I agreed. When I left his, he asked to keep contact. He didn't want a clean cut (I did, as I've left a 5 year relationship and I didn't want to be strung along again). This was on a Sunday, I didn't message at all and he messaged me on Monday night saying he couldn't bear not knowing if I was okay and that he needed to see me So he came over Tuesday, and we agreed to attempt to try and work on things slowly. I agreed, so along as there would be no one else whilst we worked through this - he agreed. All I asked from him during this time, was that he let me knows when he gets home safely. Not who he's with, Where's he's going, just that he gets home safe. As he works till early hours and has an hour walk home, I used to pick him up because its a dangerous road and I hated the thought of him walking alone in the dark. He invites me to go out with his family the following Sunday, I agree. He goes out drinking the Saturday night (totally out of character, he hates drinking usually) but again, all I asked was to let me know he was safe. When I woke up, he hadn't messaged so I contacted to politely say that this wasn't doing my anxiety any good, and that I was going to stop speaking to him until he decides what he wants as this half assing it was too much for me. When he contacts me about 4 days later, he said it didn't feel right trying to work it out any more and he hopes we can stay friends. I didn't beg, but I didn't ask him if he was sure if it's what he really wanted. He said it was, he said things might change in the future but didn't want to hold out on that - fair enough, it hurt but I tried to understand. I asked when to grab my things, and he kept putting it off until I told him I was just coming to get it because dragging it out seemed pointless - he said it felt like I was just removing him quickly. When I arrive at his, he was very upset. Very tearful, but he said going back wouldn't work as I wouldn't trust him again - I agreed, it would be extremely hard to go back. Since then, he kept pestering me late at night for sex, the first time I explicitly told him how much it hurt me and I wouldn't accept it. He did it again a few days later, so I told him us being friends wasn't going to work. He understood, and said he was sorry and that he wishes me well. He then blocks me on everything bar Facebook. He then kept liking lots of my posts, and i decided after about a month on no contact to unfriended. How can I move on, with his name popping up every few days A day after I unfriended him I got a message just regarding some money that of his that hadcgone missing. That was 10 days ago, since then no contact whatsoever. Now, I'm in a MUCH better headspace than I was in the beginning. I can't read into messages, I don't have false hope and I'm slowly reaching the acceptance stage of this breakup. But there's this part of me that still really wants to contact him. I feel like I gave up too easily, because I wanted to keep my dignity and not degrade myself like I did with my last partner. (which worked, but we split again and it was HORRIFIC) I really just need someone to give me their opinions on my situations and talk me out of doing something I may very well regret :( Link to comment
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