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I can't tell if this is him flirting with me


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Hi, I have this friend who is very close to me. We've been friends for years now and throughout that time I've had varying degrees of a crush on him. We even dated at one point, but that didn't work out all that well so we stopped and just resumed our friendship as if nothing happened. Recently, however, he's been sending these things to me that I could very easily take as a hint or a bit of flirtation. They're usually sent as memes he found on Instagram. He'll send them and I'll just write it off as "Oh he meant for me to see a different picture in that post"(very plausible.) "It's the fandom he likes" "He just thought it was funny."

However just last night he sent this one to me that I kind of have a hard time writing off. It's one of those "Wholesome gf meme" kind of a post that you'll see around. The main picture is this character from Over the Garden Wall (A show he absolutely loves) and on that it says, "I can't believe we're not making out rn" and in quite smaller text off to the side its says, "We should change that ;)" I would just post an image in here, but I tried that last night and it didn't work :(

Now you see I would usually think that no duh he's being bold af. But hear me out. I have some reasons. 1. He's a big fan of the show the image is from and he knows I am as well. 2. He might just find the thing funny and wanted me to laugh at it (though he only ever sent me posts remotely similar when we were dating.) 3. He knows I like those kinds of posts.

So I don't know if I am overthinking things, or if he actually meant it that way and I'm just being dumb. Idk. Please help

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Why didn't the dating situation work out? It's ok to be friends, but unfortunately you want more and that will not go well in the long run. Sending memes is not asking you out. You wish it were and you hope it is, but it's not.

I've had varying degrees of a crush on him.


We even dated at one point, but that didn't work out all that well.

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Men (or, and I assume in this case, 'young men') are pretty easy to figure out. If they are consistently reaching out and being cutesy, most likely they are interested in you. If they are sending overt messages like that, he's at least open for hooking-up; however, if he is pursuing you as someone to date or have any meaningful relationship with, take it slow and just as him if he's interested in going out.


If he says he is not, than you can ask him to stop sending mixed signals with messages about making out; because anyone can tell you that's confusing.


Also, to Wiseman's point, what's the story here? Why didn't dating work out in the first place?

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I just don't know if we're all that compatible romatically. The reason we broke up was because I was feeling unloved. I tried talking it out with him but he was still figuring out his emotions, so after 6 months of that I called it quits and decided to be just friends. I of course still liked him but it wasn't good for my mental health. So it is kind of a lost cause to be hoping for more.. but it's been a year since then and here we are.

I am also aware that him sending me memes is not asking me out. He sends me completely normal ones every day. It was just the context of this one that freaked me out. Mostly because this isn't the type of meme he would ever send me.

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The longer you stay with him 'as friends' the longer you are blocking off time and energy on a known go-nowhere situation. You are paying attention to meaningless social media memes as if there is a special connection. If you want to feel loved one day you need to get rid of dead weight and time-wasters like this.


What he's sending you is cheap filler. Strive for something better. Not just being in his fan club. Find a guy who you can have a one-on-one in-person real life relationship with.


That means delete and block him from social media so you can redirect your energy into more satisfying productive pursuits. Hanging around waiting for months and years for him to "figure out his emotions" is time you could have spent meeting and dating more mature and together men that at least have the potential to develop into a relationship.

The reason we broke up was because I was feeling unloved.


I of course still liked him but it wasn't good for my mental health.


it's been a year since then and here we are.

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He's toying with you and this is not in any way indicative of any serious interest in you. However old you are, please think better of yourself. I'd ignore his messages and block them if he continued on this way. You could be spending better time with someone else instead of wondering whether a guy likes you because of his meme of the day. This is also someone you've broken up with because of his less-than attitude or your incompatibility when you were in a relationship. You're stuck in a loop and going nowhere continuing to pay attention to these messages. Let him go for good.

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I feel like he sent you that meme as a test - since he sends you so many, it was like "ok now I'm gonna send a slightly suggestive one and see what she thinks." Sort of the equivalent of saying "just kidding" after using a pickup line in case it doesn't work. Basically, he's being coy.


But the point is, do you WANT him to make a move? He doesn't seem like great boyfriend material, at least to this extent:


I just don't know if we're all that compatible romatically.


I mean, if you do get back together I certainly hope you'll be happy, but in my experience: people don't suddenly become loving and attentive if they weren't previously. But I don't know you or your friend and there could have been plenty of other factors that affected him at the time soooo.... basically, he could be sending a flirt because he's unsure how you'd take it, but please evaluate if being with him again is really what you want.

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I feel like I should also specify how close we are friendship wise. He is my best friend, I am his. We live in the same town maybe a mile away from each other so we hang out a few times a week if our schedules allow it. And if we don't hang out one day we always at least vc or text. The whole sending memes thing is just something we do on Instagram when we see a post that we want the other to see. We also do that to our other friends as well. So it's nothing special. Just something we do.

This relationship I have with him is something that I would never throw away. Whether it ends up being a romantic or platonic relationship in the long run, it's something that I would treasure either way. Our lives are just starting out and so far, we have been planning every step together, platonically. We want each other in our lives for the long run, mutually. The careers we want to go into are very similar, so we help each other out and give tips. We've even talked about how we inspire each other and we take advantage of that lol.

I know that I didn't really go into detail about what our relationship was like in the original post, but I think we are quite healthy friends. And I know have to get over my feelings for him for this friendship to last. I have been and will continue to try. My hope for anything romantic has been shot for a long time now so this thing he sent me really confused me.

I hope this helps.

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I think there is hope. The last time he might have been too inexperienced or too shy,.... you know, just not ready to date (I'm just guessing, I don't know his background). Going from 16/17 to the age of 18 is a big jump in maturity, changes in who you are, etc. It's possible he's feeling he's ready, and those comments is him putting out feelers to see if you would be on board with it. He's just being shy about it, or nervous because of what happened the last time..remember you were the one that dumped him. It may have broken his heart, so he's worried about being rejected. I would give it a little more time, but respond more positively to his slight flirtations. It may encourage him to be more forthcoming with his intentions. Not many 18 year old guys have the nut sack to ask a girl out no matter how well they know you. For example at my school reunion (20 year I think, ya ya I'm old), all these guys I knew in school came forward and admitted they liked me but were too afraid to ask me out. I thought that was just silly.

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