Changing OLD profile after a date?

[Batya33]

If he doesn't reach out please don't assume he's not being genuine - I disagree with the other poster You discussed but didn't confirm another plan. He is entitled to change his mind about going on a first date without being accused of a character flaw or having that assumption made -all that does is increase the negative attitudes about dating. Certainly in the best possible scenario if one makes a tentative plan one should still follow up but tentative means you know the other person isn't holding the time open for you so it's fine to just not follow up after a first meet IMO.

 

A realistic attitude to me is - there likely are many people out there who you can meet and who you have things in common with and who are genuinely good people - not all of them will be your match. Finding your match is not guaranteed and you increase your chances by not getting so attached after a first meet that you even notice if his profile was updated (or if you notice it's no biggie).

[abitbroken]

If he doesn't reach out please don't assume he's not being genuine - I disagree with the other poster You discussed but didn't confirm another plan. He is entitled to change his mind about going on a first date without being accused of a character flaw or having that assumption made -all that does is increase the negative attitudes about dating. Certainly in the best possible scenario if one makes a tentative plan one should still follow up but tentative means you know the other person isn't holding the time open for you so it's fine to just not follow up after a first meet IMO.

 

A realistic attitude to me is - there likely are many people out there who you can meet and who you have things in common with and who are genuinely good people - not all of them will be your match. Finding your match is not guaranteed and you increase your chances by not getting so attached after a first meet that you even notice if his profile was updated (or if you notice it's no biggie).

 

 

And remember, guys can be just as nervous as we are. There is nothing weak about folllowig up after a first date "i had a nice time last night. Thanks for going out with me" or If he mentioned saturday night, softball a date suggestion. Its not all one sided where guy asks girl out, girl is supposed to just hope he asks her out again. I would not chat in between dates with him, but if he has not firmed up plans, i see nothing wrong with a date suggestion. But maybe because i am old i am tired of dating games. But don't hold saturday night open. If he doesn't ask you out, don't wait around

[Batya33]

And remember, guys can be just as nervous as we are. There is nothing weak about folllowig up after a first date "i had a nice time last night. Thanks for going out with me" or If he mentioned saturday night, softball a date suggestion. Its not all one sided where guy asks girl out, girl is supposed to just hope he asks her out again. I would not chat in between dates with him, but if he has not firmed up plans, i see nothing wrong with a date suggestion. But maybe because i am old i am tired of dating games. But don't hold saturday night open. If he doesn't ask you out, don't wait around

 

If she forgot to express interest or say thank you I agree with following up with a text and certainly closing the deal as far as mentioning a specific time/place. I'm not a fan of sending a repetitive text after the date.

[abitbroken]

If she forgot to express interest or say thank you I agree with following up with a text and certainly closing the deal as far as mentioning a specific time/place. I'm not a fan of sending a repetitive text after the date.

 

I agree!! No chit chat beyond what it was required to arrange the date's logistics

[annie24]

I wouldn't read into it - Lots of people will continue to update their profiles while dating and before entering a relationship. It's an annoying part of online dating that you see this and are aware of it. But even if you met organically and real life, he can still be calling/talking to several different women while dating you and trying to decide whether to continue dating or not.

[SherrySher]

I know, we all would like to impress someone on the first date, feel that we were amazing to them and a romance was set off.

So for them to go back to their profile and update it, it stings.

 

But maybe he's the type of guy who doesn't put all that much importance into a first date.Perhaps he's been fooled before and wants to take things slow and is cautious.

He is keeping his options open in case his first impression of you was wrong.

No harm in that.

 

Or perhaps he's changed his mind altogether. And who knows for what reason. Maybe you said something that reminded him of an ex, maybe he decided that he wanted a certain type of woman and you didn't fit the criteria after all. Maybe it's none of the above and you will never know why he changed his mind.

 

But try your best to not take it personally. (I know, very tough to do).

But after all, it was a first date...it would have been more harsh had it been the 5 or 6th date.

First dates are difficult to gauge on how it actually went. You can have an opinion from your perspective but it's hard to know what the other person was thinking.

 

But for now, just go with the flow. Try to take first dates (and even second ones), more light hearted.

It's meant to be fun, after all and if it doesn't work out after the first or second date, no worries.

All it means is that he wasn't the right one, and be happy that you didn't waste time in finding that out.

[Batya33]

I wouldn't read into it - Lots of people will continue to update their profiles while dating and before entering a relationship. It's an annoying part of online dating that you see this and are aware of it. But even if you met organically and real life, he can still be calling/talking to several different women while dating you and trying to decide whether to continue dating or not.

 

Exactly -

Just to cheer you up - I was contacted once by an older guy who wanted to take me to a fancy restaurant for dinner on the first meet -I was hesitant and told him that on his profile it said he was only looking for an LTR and hadn't checked off "marriage and family" - he insisted he did want marriage and to prove it would change his profile. He did and we made a plan to meet (if I remember I nixed the long fancy dinner thing). Anyway about 2 days before our planned date I saw that he changed his profile back to "LTR" and removed marriage. So I contacted him and he insisted it was a "mistake" that he changed it but I cancelled the meet. I did the same thing with a guy I met once, who didn't call me -then months later we ran into each other in real life (I know, so random) and he asked me if I'd consider seeing him again. I said yes. The next day he changed his photo. To him gazing down at his bare chest. So, without telling him why and after getting over my repulsion, I cancelled that meet too. People do all sorts of things with their profile

[Realitynut]

OK....since she hasn't responded....I"m dying to know if he contacted her. Did they go out on the date!!! Please come back...don't leave us hangin'