aha45 Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 Hi those who read this, im in desperate need of help. So approximately 6 years ago i was in a relationship with a girl for a year, at the start it was great, then we kept arguing, and it really got to me so i began to withdraw (not from love) but because at that time i couldnt handle emotions very well (getting better now with therapy). We saw less and less, i rarely treated her if im honest because of this. My anxiety issues got the better of me. However it got so bad, that when she was going on a girls holiday and she asked if we would be talking, i replied 'il just talk to you when you get back'. Fast forward the week and she had broken up with me when she got back. I assumed it was because she had cheated. I didnt take it very well it broke me .The reason for the break up she said is 'we never do anything, were not affectionate enough and we dont have an emotional connection, and i dont feel part of your family'. The main reason being 'i felt like you couldnt care about me'. She told me she didnt want to be with anybody and be alone. Now i find out she had kissed (probally more) a guy on holiday. After breaking up with me she was still willing to meet me whenever i'd ask. However i found out she was meeting up with this guy from another part of the country too and slept with him. All whilst i was trying to get her back she said she wanted to be on her own and wouldnt even kiss me or touch me. That hurt. When she told me she had slept with him she said it was a rebound and their not seeing eachother anymore. I cant seem to get my head around what she said because she met him whilst still with me, is that a rebound? What do you think she was thinking on holiday tbh, the relationship wasnt going well, how do you think she took me not wanting to talk to her whilst she was away? We no longer talk anymore as we had a really bad fight about it, however theres something that really bugs me. She came round my parents house during this meeting up period post break up (i still lived at home then) with no care in the world. She would never whilst in the relationship just walk in if i invited her over, id have to go to the door, but this time she did. It makes me feel sick she had been having sex with another guy but had no qualms about stepping back into my parents house, even for an hour. Am i right to think this? I dont think id ever go round an ex gfs house if id slept with another woman. Is this because she was over me? So anyway this time she was round, we ended up sleeping together and she started crying. Guilt i suppose? I was trying to get her back in this period, all the more reason why i feel like ugly. I feel at that moment in time she found me ugly and preffered him . So ive now got in my head, the reason she got over me so fast is because this guy literally shagged the feelings out of her. Does that happen to women? is this why she literally come back off holiday a completely different person i didnt recognise her. Now i thought i had gotten over this but its all come back haunting me as ive just seen she went travelling, and i feel really jealous. She looks so happy I find her incredibly attractive now, however when i was with her i wasnt too fussed on her looks. shes also had a boob job and it makes me teary eyed because i know she always wanted one, and im jealous she'll get so much more attention from it. Why do you i find her incredible now and not before? So what im really looking for is insight tbh. I know i have waffled on, and theres a lot to take in. Im mainly looking for your take from her point of view as to why she was meeting up with me (without wanting to even touch me), yet saw him for a while. Did she literally take this as if she'd found someone else and i was 'ugly' in her eyes from the moment she slept with him. Even though she said it could have been anyone. I have deep insecurities i know and im working on them with a therapist. Can you have the feelings for someone else 'shagged' out of you? Her instagram is packed full of fun things shes been doing, its like i never matter and because she slept with someone else i was erased. i have tried to have rebound sex, but i struggle to get it up unless i have a connection with someone. So im finding it impossible to move on. Do girls find it easier to take part in rebound sex do you think because of simple mechanics? a girl doesnt have to be erect to have sex even tho it may hurt her. Whats an emotional connection also?, . Sorry its a little all over the place, just looking for your take on things about how jealous i am and what she did. Predominently I'd like a womans perspective to try put themselves in her shoes. Thanks Link to comment
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