Loki1110 Posted October 15, 2019 Share Posted October 15, 2019 Here's my story. It's a wall of text, but please bear with me. The Background: I had been dating a 4th year medical student for the past year and few months. We began the relationship knowing at the end of the year she would relocate, but we both fell fast, so we kept it going. By the end of the 4th year, she found out she was relocating across the country and invited me to go with her. The move for her was about starting her career with people she liked in a place that she loved. The move for me meant being with the person I loved in a place that seemed awesome, but it also meant I would be giving up my job, home, stability, friends, etc. I knew the risks, but I loved her, so I was willing to do it. We got an apartment together. The Past Three Months: Her life began to blossom. She was getting into the groove at the hospital, she was becoming close with her co-residents, and she enjoyed the things the city had to offer. My life seemed to get darker. I felt nervous to leave the apartment. I felt embarrassed to be unemployed. I kept applying but only kept getting rejections. The only social opportunities were ones that she initiated, (going out with other doctors mainly, seeing parts of the city, day trips to go hiking). It created a situation where I hated being social because I felt like a loser around the successful and high powered people. I hated going out and spending money I had no right to spend if I wanted to not be broke. I felt like I had no life of my own, and who would want to be with someone with nothing going on for themselves. It created a very vicious mental cycle. I couldn't enjoy anything, and a few times I tried to explain that, but I never seemed to be able to communicate it very well. I was stand-offish often, and there were times where I acted like a real ass, but I tried to make day to day life with her good. I cleaned the apartment, made sure the place was stocked with her favorite snacks, laundry, etc, and we shared a lot of good, small moments together. I went to some of her social functions, and we went hiking a few times, and we had good times doing those things. The Ending: Several days went by where things felt off. On some level I registered that something was wrong, but I was terrified that it was wrong with us. I didn't bring it up, therefore my anxiety grew, therefore my standoffish-ness grew. On Sunday night, she came into my room and while crying explained how miserable she had been. I knew things were not in a good place, but I had no idea they were that bad for her. She never told me about the effect of the events of the past 3 months until this breakup conversation. The reason she offered was that she had thought about it a lot and came to the conclusion that we wanted different things out of life and that there was no way it would work long term. I asked if there was another guy, and she said no. I asked if there was anything to be done, but she said it was too late. She ended things, and I had no job to support myself. I had nobody else who cared I existed there. I didn't want to stay in that apartment and wallow. I didn't want to be in that city anymore and risk going completely broke by finding a new apartment while still not having a job. My best friend was 2400 miles away in Nashville, and he invited me to crash with him. So within 24 hours I packed up all that I owned into my car, and I left. I drove across the country in 3 days. I'm now crashing with that best friend in Nashville. I've been NC for 23 days and I've heard nothing from her. Life sucks. Thanks for listening/reading. Link to comment
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