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Hey everyone, my relationship details are all in my previous threads. - basically im a 19F who had been dating my ex 19M for 3 years, became fwb and i broke that off last month.

 

Its been 4-5 months since we broke up and we’ve still been texting (although sentences are very brief) we mostly text about random things about our days. I guess in a sense it is good that he still talks to me despite taking fwb off the table? We both have not spoken/seen anyone new. Sometimes I make jokes and about his “future girlfriend” and whenever I do he would go “lol no” and still shows a strong physical attraction to me and maybe not so much emotionally. Although recently he’s been more open to doing things like calling me to sleep (something we used to do when we dated).

 

I do want to re-build our emotional connection but I don’t know how to do it. Even though we do talk theyre often about random topics, is it best to implement LC and only talk to him when he initiates a conversation? If you have done LC what was your experience with it?

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In my experience, trying to stay friends with someone you still have feelings for is nothing but a recipe for hurt. All it really does is keep you from truly moving on.

 

I hate to say it like this - but a person can’t miss you if you don’t go away...

 

I honestly think that your best shot of getting back together (or finally moving on) is to cut contact completely.

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NO!

 

We have all told you repeatedly to move on and go no contact. Why do you continue to ask the same thing?

 

I guess instead of moving on i moved “forward”, I don’t spend my days constantly thinking about him. Instead I do go out, focus on my studies and have fun etc. I think this is pretty good? Although there is still a desire to be with him and I can’t exactly stop it.

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I think you'll continue to beat this dead horse until you're dealt with a wake-up call that screams, "Where did my self-respect go?"

 

The FWBs plan didn't cut it, and "low contact" will end up being a dead end street, as well. In short, if he wanted to be with you, he'd never take the chance of losing you...

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My experience with LC and your situation in general is that it didn’t work, and I ended up feeling embarrassed and ashamed that I had invested so much time in someone that was only interested in keeping me on the hook for sex.

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You are not moving forward, no matter how much you try to convince yourself that you are.

 

You are still here asking the same questions over and over. Your goal is still the same. Look, you can try to rebuild an emotional connection all you want, but understand that it's going to hurt like hell when the day comes that he goes out with or has sex with another girl and you hear about it.

 

And mark my words, that day is coming, whether you wait around in the wings clinging to false hope or not.

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It seems no matter what you do or don't do or offer this guy, he's keeping his distance. Fwb, sexting, texting, etc. He may have other women he's more interested in but just keeps you around because you make it so easy until he gets serious with someone.

Its been 4-5 months since we broke up and we’ve still been texting. I make jokes and about his “future girlfriend” and whenever I do he would go “lol no” and still shows a strong physical attraction to me .

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"still shows a strong physical attraction to me and maybe not so much emotionally"

 

This proves he is still hoping you'll give in and start giving him commitment free sex and sexting again.

 

Who usually contacts who?

 

Its pretty equal, sometimes i initiate and sometimes he does

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