Bluegirl17 Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 My partner and I have been together for 4.5 years, we’re both on the verge of turning 30. We have a 12 week old baby together and own a house together. To say we’ve had some hurdles is an understatement over the entire time we’ve been together. I think I’ve stayed through many times that I should have left. He used to be an awful drunk, well he still is, but he doesn’t drink much at all anymore. He used to get really violent, not with me directly but he would throw things, punch things, want to fight people at the pub, he’d abuse taxi drivers etc. Thankfully that is far behind us. He’s lied to me multiple times in the past, I’ve caught him doing it. Not big lies, but enough to make me question how much I can trust him. Again, this isn’t recently really but in saying that I’ve been very baby-focussed with our new bub. So the current situation is - he works 40 hours a week and is home by 3pm every day. Our baby is basically in my care for 23 hours and 45 mins per day. He takes her whilst I have a shower that’s about it. I do 90% of the housework and he might organise dinner once a week. I do all of the washing. No matter how much I say I need more help he just seems to get his way out of it one way or another. Or he will do better for a couple days then back to normal. He’s pretty into gaming which during my pregnancy caused many many arguments as he just wanted to play PlayStation all the time. This new addiction is only since last year, before than he never gamed. I hate it with a passion. He’s always swearing at the tv and talking with his gamer friends online out loud. He is getting better but I’ve had to ask him to shoosh so many times as the baby and I are sleeping. He’s now allowed to play 2 nights a week that’s the deal, if it were upto me it would be 0 but I’m trying to be fair. Even though I get no nights off to do anything for myself. We have very little romance. I’ve tried to make a lot of effort in that department in hopes that he will reciprocate but to no avail. He knows it’s an issue for me but I can’t force him to be a certain way if it’s just not him. I don’t get the “drive safe” texts or anything if the weather is bad. If he’s with mates he won’t reply for ages. You get the gist. We do laugh a lot when things are good and generally get on well. But in saying that I have all of this running through my head almost all the time lately. I love him very much but I just feel that I’ll never have the love I want from him. I know he loves me so much but the way he lets me down and doesn’t show me, it hurts a lot and I’m really starting to get over it. He tells me what I want to hear but rarely follows through. It makes me feel stupid now as it happens all the damn time. I’ve always been supportive of everything he does and put in effort with his friends and things he enjoys, but when it comes to one of my family events or something with my friends (which he’s never wanted to do anything with), he will sit it out if he doesn’t want to go. Most of the time he does join me for family things but there have been times I’ve had to lie for him because he just didn’t want to come. What is this? Does he have little respect for me? Am I being taken for granted? Please tell me what this looks like from an outsiders perspective. Thanks for reading my post, it’s a little long. Link to comment
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