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Is he interested or am I imagining things?


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I think my driving instructor is attracted to me and I'm unsure about making a move. When we are together, we chat about everything and when he is talking about his life, he goes into massive detail about everything. We laugh a lot and playfully tease each other. He touches my elbow a lot when he is speaking to me and during one conversation he told me liked me (however, I cant determine weather this was in general or romantically) and touched my arm right after he said it. After lessons, when we are reflecting on possible improvements there is a LOT of eye contact.

Anyway, there are some lessons when he gives nothing off. Like he flips from hot to cold. So that leaves me questioning am I imagining it all?? Should I make a move? I'm in my 30's and feel silly. Im a grown up not a teenager. I should know all this by now.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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I would wait until the lessons are over, or it could make things really uncomfortable.

 

Focus on your driving and not the flirting.

I was thinking this, but I suppose I'm also wondering if you thing hes legitimately flirting or if it's all in my head.
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He sounds friendly but nothing else. Remember that you're paying him or someone is paying for him to teach you how to drive. He's supposed to be charming and informative. His business or his success probably also depends on referrals. Is he attached/married?

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At this point it doesn't matter. Wait until the course is over. He's not going to lose his job over this. He may have a lot of students who have a crush on him and ask him out, etc. If you have a crush on him, wait until you see whether you pass or fail. Reassess your feelings then. If you're still interested, invite him for a coffee.

I suppose I'm also wondering if you thing hes legitimately flirting or if it's all in my head.
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He sounds friendly but nothing else. Remember that you're paying him or someone is paying for him to teach you how to drive. He's supposed to be charming and informative. His business or his success probably also depends on referrals. Is he attached/married?
I was thinking along these lines. I'm not overcome by it. He just seems that little bit overly friendly. I work in a similar environment where I work one on one with people and I totally understand that you must be polite, caring etc...in order to build your business. He just seems that bit extra friendly. It confuses me and I dont like being confused. [emoji23]
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No. He is single and my marriage broke down 12 months ago.

 

If that's the case, I'd enjoy his company and flirt back. Asking him out after the classes are done or at the last class is a great idea. My instructor (I was 17-18 at the time) accompanied me to my driving test and was there waiting for me when I finished! She was amazing. Maybe you'll see him on your test day too and can ask him out then.

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If that's the case, I'd enjoy his company and flirt back. Asking him out after the classes are done or at the last class is a great idea. My instructor (I was 17-18 at the time) accompanied me to my driving test and was there waiting for me when I finished! She was amazing. Maybe you'll see him on your test day too and can ask him out then.
I will definitely see him on the day of my test as I will be using his car so he will be coming with me. That sounds like a great idea. Thank you. [emoji4]
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Cool your jets, my dear. Get thru your lessons and test first. Plenty of people are quite friendly (like me) and would touch your elbow too. You'll know the answer when your test is over and you ask him for coffee.
My jets are far from fired up [emoji23][emoji23]
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Can I just add, I'm not head over heels for this man. I don't want to delve into a relationship or dating headfirst. I have 3 children who are my world and men are the least of my worries. He is not somebody who would usually catch my eye but as I have gotten to know him, we have become very friendly. If it turns out he is not interested,i wont cry myself to sleep or anything [emoji23]. Was really wondering how to ask him out, or if there was a way of being sure he is flirting so that I dont make a fool of myself. [emoji85]

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Ok, wait until you are a bit further along toward divorce. Don't hit on the teacher. If you want to start dating and live alone, try out some dating apps.
I dont do dating apps. I'm a bit old fashioned (even though I'm only in my 30's) and I much prefer to meet someone in the flesh. I dont understand why I should wait till I'm near divorce (next year) when my ex husband is living with someone new already. And by the way,I'm not bad mouthing my ex, we split very amicably. It was a joint decision as we were no longer getting on. There was no infidelity or betrayal on either part. We just grew apart. [emoji4]
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Wait at least until your course is over. making a fool would be doing it now. He's doing his job, you are in the throes of a marriage breaking up, so it's more likely that you hope he's flirting, when he may just be trying to be nice.

Was really wondering how to ask him out
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The hot/cold thing seems like stress as a driving instructor and I wouldn't base his interest level in you so heavily while he's working (it's his job/you're meeting while he's working). One of my clients was a business owner (owned his own driving school) and he worked extraordinary hours. If the vibes are right I don't think there's any harm in feeling things out the day of. You can't really plan these things to a T. Just enjoy the company and you seem to be very levelheaded in all this.

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The hot/cold thing seems like stress as a driving instructor and I wouldn't base his interest level in you so heavily while he's working (it's his job/you're meeting while he's working). One of my clients was a business owner (owned his own driving school) and he worked extraordinary hours. If the vibes are right I don't think there's any harm in feeling things out the day of. You can't really plan these things to a T. Just enjoy the company and you seem to be very levelheaded in all this.
Thank you! I am level headed. I dont dream up mad scenario's or jump the gun. After all the advice I got, I'm just going to carry on as normal and see what happens. If it does,it does... and if it doesn't no harm done. [emoji4]. I just feel I am out of the dating game so long (married for 9 years) and a little like a fish out of water. I have forgotten how to flirt (which I used to be quite good at).
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Well, he's not shy since he keeps touching you and told you he likes you. If he is truly single and interested, he will be ethically free to ask you out once the lessons end. If he doesn't ask you out, it means he hasn't told you about the woman he's dating, or he's just not that into you. A guy can be friendly and might amp it up when he enjoys the fact that a woman has a crush on him (yes, he knows), even if he has no plans of asking her out. Or, it might be his personality with everyone.

 

I've never had luck asking out a guy who gives me these signals, but if you want to be bold and ask, that's your decision. Because when a guy isn't shy, like he clearly isn't, if he's single, why would he let an opportunity like this pass him by?

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He may be attracted to you, and he may be flirty, but that doesn't necessarily mean he wishes to pursue a relationship with you. It's just fun and tingly. I will agree with the above, that once your driving course is completed, if he is interested, he will be ethically free to ask you out. Surely there are rules about fraternizing with the students. Plus, being in a car for that length of time, false feelings could occur.

 

You...out of a marriage, new to the dating scene (or idea of it), to find that someone finds you attractive and you are available, being in this secluded environment with a man who is a caring provider, you could be getting your signals mixed up as well. It feels good, but this isn't a real set of circumstances. How is he out there in real life? And how are you? Three kids, a job...the driving lessons and time in the car is devoid of your regular life outside of this bubble.

 

I am feeling the tingly excitement you feel in this situation, and it's really fun. I think if the opportunity presents itself, you should go out, get a drink, coffee, whatever.

 

I question, however, if he is rather flirty and touchy with all of his women clientele, and if I would want to date someone who does that. It's jealousy inducing, and keeps a wedge in the door for something to go wrong...cheating.

 

I think in your shoes, I would totally go for it, though, at least to get my feet wet, getting back in the dating pool. You have a realistic head on your shoulders. Obviously I can't judge whether asking him out would be sucessful or a flop; you'll just have to take your chances, or maybe he'll make the move.

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I am feeling the tingly excitement you feel in this situation, and it's really fun. I think if the opportunity presents itself, you should go out, get a drink, coffee, whatever.

 

I question, however, if he is rather flirty and touchy with all of his women clientele, and if I would want to date someone who does that. It's jealousy inducing, and keeps a wedge in the door for something to go wrong...cheating.

 

Thank you so much for your reply!! I feel you totally get my situation and I really appreciate it. Brilliant advice.

I have totally thought "is he like this with all the ladies?" And he probably is. However,I am not after anything serious right now. But i would like to see what happens.

As I said above if nothing ever comes of it,I will not be devastated or heartbroken. I am just excited to see where it all leads. [emoji4]

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