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so 5 and a half weeks ago my friend reversed her car and swung it around and hit my parked car. she damaged the bumper and she smashed the washer housing. she said she would fix it so i didnt go through insurance.

 

now 5 weeks later i told her i was getting impatient and i wanted the washer fixed as i can get points on my license for driving around with no washer if i have an accident. She told me to chill out and that im being OTT....this obviously wound me up. Anyway 2 days later she fixed my washer and now thats ok. but the bumper still needs fixing so i said id like it done in the next 2 weeks.

 

i also said the bumper is mis aligned as well as dented. she then says its only a tiny chip, i already have scratches over the car. .....she then goes on to say im pregnant dont pressure me....i did wonder how long it would take her to play that card! and whats it got to do with my car i dont no?

 

she then also says why are you pushing this your not being a good friend.

 

she then says if it costs too much you will have to bring it to us and we will sort it out manually.....so what shes saying is if she cant afford it then i have to pay petrol and do the running around to accomadate her mistake...great

 

i asked her for her insurance details and she refused

 

she wants to get her own quotes to get it fixed but i asked a garage for a quote and they said they cant do that without seeing the car, so i dont know why she thinks she can get an accurate quote without it being seen properly?

 

When i sent her pictures of my bumper again to show the misalignment she says the pictures are diffrent to hersthe damage was not there....well no ones hit my car since, and maybe her boyfriend taking the bumper off and not putting it on propely may of done something but unless i get it properly checked i wont know.

 

she says shes updated me at every stage....this isnt true, looking back through my texts i messaged her 8 times over the 5 weeks, she never initiated a single text but replied to mine, so i had to do all of the chasing

 

she has called me a liar as well when ive told her my bumper is not aligned

 

anyway, any thoughts on how this can be resolved? i have no interest in being her friend now after this, shes shown her true colours.

i want to get a proper quote by someone whos seen my car first hand, not some mickey mouse quote going from a photo shes shown them

 

do you think shes being a good friend?

 

any advise on whether they quoter should see the car before they make a quote?

 

and any advise on how i can get her to pay for the damage.

 

thanks

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Sorry to hear this. Give all the info to your insurance and give them her name, address, age, make of her car, etc. The insurance company will track down her insurance and negotiate with them. If she persists with her obstinate attitude she could face hit-and-run charges. Do the right thing and contact your insurance. You could also file a police report. She's in the wrong all the way. You can't make good deals with bad people. Don't even try.

i asked her for her insurance details and she refused
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No, she's not a good friend. She's trying to weasel out of taking responsibility and making things right. My guess is she was hoping you'd let it go. When you didn't, she tried to gaslight you into believing you were being unreasonable. It's been 5 weeks and you have to be the one to bring it up and when you do, she's insulting. Come on! That's not a good friend, that's not a friend at all.

 

Let her go ahead and get the quote sight unseen. You might get lucky and it comes in at something you two can agree too. What do you have to lose other than more time. . and a friendship.

 

Technically, the onus is on you to get multiple estimates and let her choose, but give her the benefit of the doubt. At least for now.

 

If this continues, I'd let go of any idea of a friendship, I'd get my car fixed and take her to small claims court.

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But wont giving her details to my insurance company make my insurance go up?

 

Also i dont have any details for her apart from her name as she refuses to give me the details i need.......i dont even know her address as she lives on a canal boat at the moment and i would need to drive to her boat to get her number plate, as she lives a good hours drive from me. And thats even if her car is there, of course she wouldnt tell me that... can i not get my insurance to go through hers with just her number plate.

 

Shes really shocked me i thought she would be more helpful than this it turns out all she cares about is saving herself some money and making excuses for her actions by making out im not being a good friend. Being patient for 5 weeks was more than being a good friend.

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Just get your car fixed. Follow the instructions already suggested above. Forget keeping her around as a friend. I'm surprised you're worried about whether or not she's a good friend. Let that idea go. She's already showed you what she is as a person. Even if she can't afford to pay it right now, she should have worked out a payment plan over a span of x amount of time at the very least. Stop wasting your energies on the friendship and focus on driving safely and staying away from her when she drives.

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No, she's not a good friend. She's trying to weasel out of taking responsibility and making things right. My guess is she was hoping you'd let it go. When you didn't, she tried to gaslight you into believing you were being unreasonable. It's been 5 weeks and you have to be the one to bring it up and when you do, she's insulting. Come on! That's not a good friend, that's not a friend at all.

 

Let her go ahead and get the quote sight unseen. You might get lucky and it comes in at something you two can agree too. What do you have to lose other than more time. . and a friendship.

 

Technically, the onus is on you to get multiple estimates and let her choose, but give her the benefit of the doubt. At least for now.

 

If this continues, I'd let go of any idea of a friendship, I'd get my car fixed and take her to small claims court.

 

I have no interest in being her friend after this, shes shown me that all she cares about is herself and saving a few pounds in the process. Shes selfish and shes accused me of lying and damaging the bumper myself to get out of paying for the damage she did

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Technically, the onus is on you to get multiple estimates and let her choose, but give her the benefit of the doubt. At least for now.

 

If this continues, I'd let go of any idea of a friendship, I'd get my car fixed and take her to small claims court.

 

Worst case scenario, how do i go about taking her to a small claims court

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good point.

How would you handle this if she weren't your friend?

 

I would of taken down her insurance details straight away. If she refused i would contact the police.

 

How long can you leave it after they have hit your car to report it? Does it matter if its 5 weeks later.

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I forgot to mention i quoted the law to her about how i can get points on my license or taken to court if i had an accidnet with no washer in my car. .......Of course she wasnt sorry she was outraged that i even mentioned the law.

 

Everyone ive spoken to thinks shes been out of order

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The longer you don't report it to your insurance the greater the chance that you will eat the cost of repairs, not to mention get tickets, won't be able to pass an inspection, etc. You Need to Call your insurance and tell them everything. They will track her down, don't worry. Your insurance would rather have hers pay

 

The longer you wait the more problems and costs you'll have. Look, it's a hit-and-run. It's That Simple. That's what leaving the scene without giving her insurance info is. Insurance companies deal with that all the time. Call them.

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The longer you don't report it to your insurance the greater the chance that you will eat the cost of repairs, not to mention get tickets, won't be able to pass an inspection, etc. You Need to Call your insurance and tell them everything. They will track her down, don't worry. Your insurance would rather have hers pay

 

The longer you wait the more problems and costs you'll have. Look, it's a hit-and-run. It's That Simple. That's what leaving the scene without giving her insurance info is. Insurance companies deal with that all the time. Call them.

 

i need to get her number plate first, i have nothing to go on a apart from her name

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My husband was in the car biz for years. Take as many photos as you need, call your insurance co. Take the car for estimates (at least 3) and then do whatever your insurance co. says to do. Your friend is trying to weasel out of paying for the repair or replacement of the bumper. Turning it over to your ins. is what you should have done when it happened. She is no friend. If you are told to report it to the police, then do that.

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Ho boy. There's a whole lot in this scenario that you're going to have to do yourself. Pretty much whether you have a leg to stand on at all will depend on your state, locality, and both yours and her insurance companies. And even then, it's going to be an almost guaranteed pain in the ass.

 

1. It's highly unlikely they'll slap her with a charge for fleeing the scene when you both agreed not to report it. Additionally, depending on your state, you could both simply be slapped with a fine for failing to report the accident just to spite you after the headache and what they'll most likely consider the waste of time that is collecting any definitive details over a month after the fact. Not saying don't do it. Maybe you'll garner some sympathy. Worst you could do is call the PD and ask for general information before you go about bringing someone out and incriminating yourself and getting cited for not reporting. Just keep your expectations grounded.

 

2. You can and also should consult with your insurance company, but you've got two hurdles both in having delayed in filing an accident report (a lot require one to be filed within 24 - 48 hours regardless of how long you've legally got to do so) and in filing the actual insurance claim, which often carries its own limited window. I'd say the chances one or the other, never mind both won't preclude you from getting a check is pretty damn slim. Again, not a "you shouldn't do it." Just keep your expectations grounded. I'd also likewise call in with a general inquiry if possible to avoid again incriminating yourself on what's most likely a breach of the terms of your insurance policy.

 

3. In the likely occurrence she doesn't pay you and nobody's insurance is going to pay out, you could do small claims, especially if you've got sound documentation of her admitting fault and which repairs she'll cover. Up to you whether it's worth the hassle of both going to court and then potentially any bucking she does when it comes time to collect. Again... *deep exhale* ... not to say don't do it. Just keep your expectations grounded.

 

You shot yourself in the foot big time. I'm sorry to tell it like that. Your time to play hardball was immediately after she hit your car, not 5+ weeks after the fact when you're pretty much at her whim as to whether you get this money without a continental headache. Do explore whatever paths of least resistance you can. Definitely no reason to just roll over in case it ends up super easy. But it's ultimately going to be a value judgement of how much this bumper is worth it to you.

 

Speaking personally, I work seasonally and get a solid four months a year off. During that time, I've got all kinds of time and spare money to get all kinds of petty if a friend like yours got at me like that. Recently had to do it for our NYC landlord who held our deposit thinking we wouldn't do **** because we moved out of state. I genuinely had a blast reporting her illegal AirBnB, calling the housing authority on our old to give it the ooool' inspecta-specta, and invoking some connections I had with the law school I contracted for years with. Landlord needless to say did not have as good a time. Unfortunately, not everyone's got that luxury, so I can't tell you what you need to do in the name of justice.

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So I agree with jman - time is money. All your options now are going to take time and aggravation especially since you don’t have her details and for all you know she wouldn’t pay you even if you went to court and won. Get a quote on how much more it will cost to repair and decide whether it’s worth the headache. You might get justice in one way but a lot of aggravation in another way.

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At least call your insurance with her name and address, color, make of her car and have them tell you you need more info before you choose to let this go any longer.

 

She lives on a narrow boat so i dont no her address. Her car is brown but i dont no the make. I no her phone number. Im thinking of sitting outside and waiting for her to drive in to get her number plate. Bit extreme but maybe worth a shot

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My husband was in the car biz for years. Take as many photos as you need, call your insurance co. Take the car for estimates (at least 3) and then do whatever your insurance co. says to do. Your friend is trying to weasel out of paying for the repair or replacement of the bumper. Turning it over to your ins. is what you should have done when it happened. She is no friend. If you are told to report it to the police, then do that.

 

Ive messaged her and told her im getting 3 quotes where they see my car. And i suggested she do the same.

Shes had 5 weeks to get quotes and ao far nothing. Also she has a photo of the damage she caused on her phone, she thinks that is enough to go on to get a quote. A mickey mouse quote prehaps.

Anyway i am willing to offer her to pay for the damage monthly in installments or to go with the cheapest quote we find between us and get the work done there and then. Im trying still to be reasonable with her. She is no friend though.she has insulted me by Accusing me of being a liar, i quote "please stop lying its not nice i am being a good friend" is what she said when i told her my bumper was not in alignment...can u believe that. Shes completely deluded. Im still in shock really that someone i thought was ok is actually only interested in herself.

I think if she doesnt comply i should call the police really shes a joke. Im going to call my insurance now and find out what they think i should do about this

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Ho boy. There's a whole lot in this scenario that you're going to have to do yourself. Pretty much whether you have a leg to stand on at all will depend on your state, locality, and both yours and her insurance companies. And even then, it's going to be an almost guaranteed pain in the ass.

 

1. It's highly unlikely they'll slap her with a charge for fleeing the scene when you both agreed not to report it. Additionally, depending on your state, you could both simply be slapped with a fine for failing to report the accident just to spite you after the headache and what they'll most likely consider the waste of time that is collecting any definitive details over a month after the fact. Not saying don't do it. Maybe you'll garner some sympathy. Worst you could do is call the PD and ask for general information before you go about bringing someone out and incriminating yourself and getting cited for not reporting. Just keep your expectations grounded.

 

2. You can and also should consult with your insurance company, but you've got two hurdles both in having delayed in filing an accident report (a lot require one to be filed within 24 - 48 hours regardless of how long you've legally got to do so) and in filing the actual insurance claim, which often carries its own limited window. I'd say the chances one or the other, never mind both won't preclude you from getting a check is pretty damn slim. Again, not a "you shouldn't do it." Just keep your expectations grounded. I'd also likewise call in with a general inquiry if possible to avoid again incriminating yourself on what's most likely a breach of the terms of your insurance policy.

 

3. In the likely occurrence she doesn't pay you and nobody's insurance is going to pay out, you could do small claims, especially if you've got sound documentation of her admitting fault and which repairs she'll cover. Up to you whether it's worth the hassle of both going to court and then potentially any bucking she does when it comes time to collect. Again... *deep exhale* ... not to say don't do it. Just keep your expectations grounded.

 

You shot yourself in the foot big time. I'm sorry to tell it like that. Your time to play hardball was immediately after she hit your car, not 5+ weeks after the fact when you're pretty much at her whim as to whether you get this money without a continental headache. Do explore whatever paths of least resistance you can. Definitely no reason to just roll over in case it ends up super easy. But it's ultimately going to be a value judgement of how much this bumper is worth it to you.

 

Speaking personally, I work seasonally and get a solid four months a year off. During that time, I've got all kinds of time and spare money to get all kinds of petty if a friend like yours got at me like that. Recently had to do it for our NYC landlord who held our deposit thinking we wouldn't do **** because we moved out of state. I genuinely had a blast reporting her illegal AirBnB, calling the housing authority on our old to give it the ooool' inspecta-specta, and invoking some connections I had with the law school I contracted for years with. Landlord needless to say did not have as good a time. Unfortunately, not everyone's got that luxury, so I can't tell you what you need to do in the name of justice.

 

I have a lot on my plate at the moment but i will make time to find the quotes and look at ways to hit her where it seems to hurt her. In her pocket.... its all going on at the moment but im like a dog with a bone when it comes to putting the world to rights

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Ive contacted her telling her that im looking for my own quotes and shes told me that shes going to contact the poilce if i carry on texting her cos this is harrassement. Whats my rights here?

Really is she for real. This is shocking behaviour im sure they will think that shes got no grounds and is wasting their time

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Technically, the onus is on you to get multiple estimates and let her choose, but give her the benefit of the doubt. At least for now. redadair

 

If this continues, I'd let go of any idea of a friendship, I'd get my car fixed and take her to small claims court.

 

Worst case scenario, how do i go about taking her to a small claims court

 

These are the cover things which are entertaining down towards the empire relation

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Once again, be very clear with yourself what risks, what amount of time, what amount of stress on your mental and physical health, what repercussions, are worth it -does she know people who can come and harass you? For example. I took someone to small claims court and had I not opted for arbitration I would have likely had to wait hours for my case to be called plus gone back most likely. At inconvenient times.

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