JaneDoe26 Posted October 2, 2019 Share Posted October 2, 2019 My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6.5 years, we started dating when I was 17 (he was 18). I had gone on dates before but he was my first kiss, my first real relationship, my first EVERYTHING and he is still my first and only person I’ve been with (he has quite a colorful past though). I love him with all my heart, but I find myself in a black hole of sadness recently. I want to get married (we are 23 & 24), but he has told me in the past that he doesn’t believe in marriage. His exact words: “Marriage is a bet that you’ll love someone for the rest of your life and WHEN you don’t, you lose half your ”. His parents and grandparents have gone through bad divorces and I know that they have reached their bitterness out to him. His mom told him flat out that he would be stupid to ever get married right in front of me. I also want at least one child someday and he said he can’t handle the poop and snot so we can adopt a 17.5 year old if I want. He is very closeminded and stubborn, and I do love him for it, but I have tried in vain to let go of what I want out of life and I’m afraid that one day I’ll resent him for it. I don’t think I could bring myself to leave him. Our future has been on my mind more this past year and I find myself crying in our bedroom alone at night more and more. We bought a house together and have an amazing pup. We call each other mommy and daddy when referencing our “child” puppy, but that’s not enough for me. He found me crying a couple times and I broke down and poured every bit of my soul out to him. I told him what I expected out of life and asked him to please open up to me for once and tear down his non-emotional wall that he has built up. He said that he does want to marry me someday (skipped right over the kids discussion, again) but I don’t know if he just said what would make me happy out of pressure. I want him to truly WANT to marry me. I want him to care about this and me as much as I care about him. Almost a year ago now, he actually broke up with me (thanksgiving night, classy). He was in a dark mood for about a week before, obsessively drinking and moody. I asked him what was wrong and he broke up with me because he said he wanted to be with other girls. Absolutely ripped my heart out. I moved back in with my parents and I tried to get on dating websites (because deep down I’m terrified of being alone) but every guy, no matter how cute, I found flaws with because they weren’t him. He called me about a week later bawling his eyes out (very rare for him) and begged for me to come home. Of course I did and he has never held me so tight in my life. He is honestly the weirdest person that I’ve ever dealt with emotionally, I don’t know how to get through to him to show more love and emotion to me! I’m sorry this is so long and choppy, It’s hard to fit 6.5 years in a short-ish post and he refuses to see a therapist because it’s “stupid”. At this point, I just want to see what any advise givers might think about our relationship. Please be gentle... Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.